Month: November 2017

It’s just a t-shirt. Amazing how a set of shirts can say so much…

Peace.
Justice.
Humility.
Togetherness.
Respect.
Loyalty.
Love.
Empathy.
Unity.
Friendship.
Forgiveness.
Tolerance.
Compassion.
Equality.

This year prior to the start of the season, the Director of Basketball Administration & Operations at Purdue University sat down with the men’s basketball team, as he often does, discussing things other than basketball. They talked about many things — from the mass shooting in Las Vegas to the protests by some NFL players during the National Anthem.

While it’s no secret the Intramuralist loves her alma mater, this is just one more reason why. I love that with a college backdrop, they recognize that far more than an academic education is both valuable and vital.

And so going into the season, Purdue’s seniors led the way, asking each of the 14 members of the men’s team to submit a word or two that was meaningful to them — “words you believe in,” said starting guard Carsen Edwards. And so the above list was born.

Now, with the season in full swing, while warming up on the court prior to game start, each of the 14 wears a t-shirt donning a single one of the words.

For Carsen Edwards, it’s “love.”
For nationally-watched guard Vince Edwards, it’s “humility.” He spoke of all his parents taught him. “Be humble. Always be respectful.” Hence, he picked humility.

Vince Edwards goes on to explain: “The shirts pretty much stand for everything we need in this world right now. We just wanted to give the message. All the words make you think when you see 14 different players run out with 14 different words on their chest.”

So true. So diverse.

The challenge with so many people earnestly desiring to make a statement today is that they do so with protest. And friends, there is nothing wrong with a peaceful, respectful protest. Yet way too many protests seem to leave something vital out.

For example, think of the person screaming “Justice! I demand justice!” But in their calls for justice, they omit love and respect. It thus sounds as if they don’t truly care about all people.

Think of the person who screams “tolerance!” But in their demand for tolerance, there exists an absence of compassion for those who think differently. The extent of effectiveness of their demand will then be minimized, as it’s obvious only some things will be tolerated.

And think, too, of the one who shouts “equality!” But in their sincere efforts to pursue such, they only do so by demeaning and insulting someone else, treating them as, well, someone less than equal.

Too much is omitted in too many protests.

We cannot forget the contagiousness of humility.
We cannot ignore the power of empathy.
And we cannot omit the dire need for forgiveness.

True, they are just 14 words on the chests of 14 players — from all different backgrounds and walks of life — no doubt a diverse crew.

Amazing how a set of shirts can say so much.

Respectfully…
AR

Come on in. Pull up a chair. It’s a sensitive topic today, and thus I want to make sure we handle it respectfully and well. Let’s address #metoo — the two word hashtag which spread virally last month in the wake of allegations directed at Hollywood mogul and major political player Harvey Weinstein, denouncing sexual assault and harassment.

The phrase encouraged women to speak up and denounce misogynistic behavior; women should never be treated so callously — as if they are only physical or sexual objects. The speaking up has since continued, with allegations seemingly flooding out, directed at persons hailing from all walks of life.

I have empathetically and heartbrokenly watched for weeks, hating to see so many so hurt and so much hurt buried — but I also admire those brave women who have finally felt courageous enough to speak out. Such triggers a few more questions and thoughts… honestly, truthfully, and with tremendous respect…

First, we can’t say enough that any who state that they have been assaulted or harassed should be treated with the utmost sobriety and respect. No matter who is involved, such never qualifies as any SNL fodder.

A few other brief observations…

I’ve noticed that harassment is not an indigenous activity; it’s not prone to a specific people group, party, or politics. For too long, however, too many have seemed to suggest that only one people group has a problem. And as long as we’ve allowed ourselves to politicize something that should in no way be politicized, piling on has been encouraged, frequent, and become a basis for further divisive, disrespectful, social media memes. As we now watch the accusations evolve against multiple people groups, we see that no group has cornered the market on treating all women well.

Unfortunately, with that, it seems a watching public tends to give the benefit of doubt to those they politically align with… we “wait and see” with those who vote the way we like, but we are quick to throw patience, grace, and that benefit of doubt right out the nearest window when political alignment is nonexistent. It thus seems our political stances continue to cloud our judgment.

In addition to the imprudent politicization, no less — and this is a tough but sincere question — what if not all accusations are true? What if some accounts are exaggerated, false, or even unknowingly wrong?

Please go back to our first statement in that any who state they have been assaulted or harassed should be treated with the utmost sobriety and respect. Also, with the current professional collateral damage that seems to accompany accusations, there may exist motive to lie, especially for those among us who’ve convinced themselves that the end justifies the means. The “end,” so-to-speak, should never alter our moral compass.

But there’s one point that seems absent from the public dialogue thus far — and truthfully, it’s a little tricky to articulate — because it’s not quite comfortable nor convenient in 21st Century America. We are discussing the abuse and mistreatment of women in our society. We are collectively saying that we will take this no more; women are not to be treated as solely physical or sexual objects. But what if in our society, there exists an accepted venue that treats women as exactly that?

What if there was an accepted venue that treats women so poorly, yet shockingly brings in more revenue annually than the NBA, NFL, and MLB combined? … more revenue than ABC, CBS, and NBC combined? … more traffic than Amazon, Netflix, and Twitter combined?

The pornography industry is the largest, most profitable industry in the world. And yet, women are treated as physical and sexual objects.

“It’s no secret that porn has become mainstream entertainment in our society,” Fight the New Drug articulately states. “From popular porn sites putting up billboards in New York City’s Times Square to online news sources like BuzzFeed normalizing porn with viral videos, it feels like porn is everywhere you look. Porn is plastered all over social media sites like Tumblr, and it’s easy to see on Twitter considering the Twitterverse is home to an estimated 10+ million porn accounts.”

All women deserve to be valued and cherished. The bottom line is that all women are not valued nor cherished in pornography.

There is much to speak up about and denounce, my friends. Seems like we need more than another hashtag.

Respectfully…
AR

Talk about tough topics in current culture, I came across a unique one this week. Allow me to share the unfolding pattern prior to any specific perspective…

It started with a bold statement on social media.

Then, some genuine, diverse opinion was shared.

Then came some strong feelings…

Are you referring to me?? To my family??

To some, it became personal. That led to finger pointing and defensiveness…

I am actually shocked that you are not supportive… Your concern is not my fault…

And then motive was assigned to opposing opinion…

They are afraid.

Few questions were asked seeking to understand — from any supposed side. There was more an assertion of individual opinion accompanied by a disdain of perceived opposing opinion, as it seemingly evolved into an “only two-sided issue,” where only one could be right — and one had to be wrong.

Hence, with no questions, then came the actual dismissal of any validity in different opinion…

This is the way it is. Period.

As a current events observer — and only a semi-humble one at that — I paid special attention to this thread, as it was based on a subject matter of which I’m fairly ignorant. Seeking to learn from those who have broader perspectives than mine, I thought it was a great way to learn.

But I was quickly dismayed that any learning opportunity was squelched by how personal the topic was perceived, the justification of finger pointing, the absence of questions, the assignment of motive, and the rejection of any other perspective “other than mine.” There was no tolerance for perceived opposing opinion.

And so I again found myself asking…

Is there only one right angle?

Is there only one right way to think about this?

If I put myself in your shoes, would I feel exactly like you? Do the “shoes” matter?

And the great big, profound clunky question: since we believe what we believe because it is best, what happens when what I think is best is different than what you think is best?

My sense is our goal shouldn’t be to beat another into submitting to our opinion. My sense is also that we should not finger point, assign motive, and reject. In a wise society, friends, we are to respond in love. All the time. Regardless of issue.

This issue had nothing to do with kneeling, climate change, or the latest college football rankings. There was no talk of the 1st, 2nd, or any Amendment. There was also no one who invoked (good or bad) the name of the current Oval Office holder. Still, it was a subject in which admittedly, the Intramuralist knew little…

Co-ed wrestling.

“As a parent would you want your daughter to wrestle?”

“… There’s not a girls’ wrestling team… Some boys will not be able to give 100%… I think there’s a big difference between youth vs. high school…”

I wish we could have all conversations better… conversations, regardless of topic, in which we could respect one another, allow differing opinion to exist, not make it or take it personally, resist the assignment of motive, especially regarding perspectives we don’t share.

I wish we would respond in love.

Respectfully…
AR