Many days we’ve asserted the fact that people experience life differently. As written here before the pandemic ever began, for example…
“My Hispanic neighbors across the street are consistently engaged in managing their business and chasing after their adorable, young children.
My gay friends on the corner take some glorious, fantastic vacations.
The married professionals next door are gone a lot; we don’t talk as much as any of us would like.
And the single, black mom down the block has an incredibly full plate.
Each of us experience the world differently. And that’s just on my small street.”
Friends, my sense is we can say this until we’re rhetorically blue in the face. But I’m not sure we really believe it. We might agree we experience life differently. But I’m not sure we agree that the experience of another is equally valid.
We experience life differently.
We are affected by life differently.
Not every aspect of life affects all people the same way.
Let’s play with some continued, respectful, more challenging examples…
I know multiple people who unfortunately have Covid-19 right now. For some it is life-threatening. For others it’s just a cough.
I know multiple people significantly affected by the Affordable Care Act. For some it has provided a less expensive means to healthcare. For others it has cost them thousands.
I know multiple people who have been mistreated because of their gender. For some they were grossly abused. For others they have a history of prevarication.
I mean zero disrespect, friends. What I reject is the notion that we are this monolith culture — fueled by an identity embedded in the erroneous idea that all who share a circumstance, demographic, or distinguishing characteristic are affected in exactly the same way. And because we’ve concluded that we are affected the same way, we should also think, feel, and vote the same way.
When we are lured into such thinking, we are oft lured further into concluding that if another actually does not think like me, the way they experience life is less credible, viable or valid. To be clear…
credible | ˈkredəb(ə)l | adjective – able to be believed; convincing.
viable | ˈvīəb(ə)l | adjective – capable of working successfully; feasible.
valid | ˈvaləd | adjective – having a sound basis in logic or fact; reasonable.
So let’s ask the bigger question…
Why do we fall prey to the notion of a monolith way?
And — bigger still — what is the danger of such thinking?
No doubt B.Brown, Carnegie, Covey, etal. would each have far more substantiated answers than here, but let’s humbly attempt a simplistic stab…
Why do we fall prey?
It’s easier. It’s easier to come to conclusions that fit in my already established, current world view. We are not fond of the outlier.
So what’s the danger of adhering to such?
When we forget that we experience life differently, we fail to honor the life that is different than our own.
We honor not because another is deemed deserving; we honor because it’s a wise way to live.
Respectfully…
AR
P.S. An added note… I’ve never known a person generous with their honor who lived with much regret… fascinating, indeed…