can’t we all get along?

It was 28 years ago when Rodney King pleaded, “People, I just want to say, can’t we all get along? Can’t we all get along?”

We don’t know if George Floyd would be inclined to make a similar plea today. Even if he could, in our hyper-charged political environment no one seems willing to retreat from any position, on any topic, at any time. There’s an old movie line that goes “love means never having to say I’m sorry.” Sadly, the contemporary version might be “hate means never having to say I’m wrong.”

Anyone who’s been through relationship counseling knows that an attitude of “I’m right and the other person has to change” will lead to failure. It’s the same with race relations. Unless we are all willing to look at the world through a different perspective than our own and reassess our assumptions, the racial tensions will not subside.

George Floyd’s death has been the catalyst for dialogue not just about police brutality but racism in general. Many whites are uncomfortable even entering such a conversation. No one wants to be labeled a racist, and people are afraid of saying the wrong thing. There is also a tendency to be defensive because the concept of institutional/systemic racism is often conflated with personal bigotry.

I have good news. At the start of this discussion, you don’t have to talk. You can just listen.  Instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next, try to put yourself in the shoes of a black person who got pulled over after doing nothing wrong, or watched a woman clutch her purse after they walked into an elevator, or had derogatory remarks made to them in a public place solely because of the color of their skin. How would that make you feel?

Much of our discourse around current events becomes an all-or-nothing affair. That’s just not the way the world usually works. Most things are along a spectrum. Yet, we’ve become conditioned to not give an inch to avoid a perceived slippery slope. Does racism exist? Undoubtedly. Does racism explain all the disparities in outcomes of social well-being? Of course not. Can we at least find common ground and agree that it’s somewhere between all or nothing?

Concerning police reform, some of us approach the debate logically and others emotionally. Again, we should try to view the subject from the other side. Statistics show that not only has the number of people who die at the hands of police declined over the past several years, but of those in an encounter with police, the odds of a black person being shot and killed are no greater than those of a white person. Nonetheless, those statistics don’t invalidate the anger and pain felt after watching the video of George Floyd’s death. If you have not watched the full timeline, you should. (Please be aware it is quite disturbing.)

Regardless of what the numbers say, we should acknowledge that many blacks feel genuine fear in the presence of police. Something struck me about the clashes between protesters and police after Floyd’s death. In several communities across the country, police got on one knee to demonstrate that they weren’t a threat and show solidarity with the protesters.  Many of the protesters reacted by crying. Those tears would not have come without an authentic belief that police are people to be afraid of.

How has that belief has been formed? Incidents of police behaving improperly receive outsized coverage in the news and social media, which can lead to thinking it is more common than it really is. Sure, there are cops who abuse their authority, but the vast majority of police are driven by a sincere desire to serve and protect all of us. It is appropriate to consider reforms to improve trust and confidence in public safety. However, calls to disband police departments are either grossly misguided or intentionally meant to create civil unrest. The obvious irony is that the result of implementing these plans would hurt black communities the most.

There are some trying to take advantage of the racial tensions to advance a political agenda, one that goes far beyond police reform to a Marxist reordering of our society. Yet, just as very few cops abuse their power, very few of us are Marxists. If everyone stays silent in the face of today’s emerging woke authoritarianism out of fear of being “cancelled,” then the radicals may very well realize their vision. Those of us who share a true willingness to improve race relations should keep the focus on the topic at hand and not let it be hijacked.

One last thought: racism isn’t going to be eliminated by passing a law. You can’t legislate hearts and minds. For us to figure out how to all get along, we’ll need to have an honest and candid exchange of ideas. Let’s get engaged.

Respectfully…

John

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