context clues

As a former elementary teacher, my answer to understanding most questions usually returns to the concept of context clues.

Context clues help a reader bring meaning to the stated words allowing a better grasp of the author’s intent including an understanding of tone and undertones of literary genre such as satire. Learning to grasp woven fibers through the text makes reading more relatable as readers travel to worlds unknown from the comfort of an armchair or hammock. 

This is the most difficult skill to teach and to learn because it requires internalizing text. It’s like music. You can play the notes, but if you don’t “feel” the music, it’s just not the same. Context is the connective fiber between writer and reader. Truly digesting context requires high level thinking, exposure to a variety of viewpoints and a willingness to understand beyond one’s own viewpoint. 

It requires both the writer and the reader to be responsible for their actions in the literary contract. The contract is not always the same at each encounter. Time has a way of changing both parties memories, relationship and understanding of how things are. Our understanding of context changes over time. This is the same with our relationships. 

It is often curious to me as to why two very people seem to “get along” so well even though their points of view are so very different. I always go back to context clues. What context do they have in common that links their ability communicate with one another? 

Is there is a common bond that is not obvious to others that is so simple as a love for a candy, a sports team or vacation spot? Have you ever seen two people realize they attended the same college and scream in sheer delight? Have you ever met someone who you had an instant liking?  Upon further reflection you can’t really figure out why, but you just “like” that person. 

President George W. Bush and Mrs. Michelle Obama come to mind. They genuinely love one another even though it would appear they are very different. Their context or connection as “partners-in-crime” is their humor. 

As children, we are often open to learning more context. As adults, our scopes are often limited by time, habits, day-to-day responsibilities, and our lack of energy. In a time that seems to have so much turmoil, I contend this an opportunity to find a common context. We have been forced to slow down whether we wanted to or not. One area is our recognition of race as it relates to not only to our history and our society as a whole, but how we interact daily. There is a large part of our history that has not been recognized. This does impact our daily relationships, our recognized context.

There are Americans who become bothered when they see Black Lives Matter. Their immediate response is All Lives Matter. All Lives Do Matter, but not ALL Lives have been treated equitably. I contend the different points of view are due to context. Our experiences have brought us to different conclusions. This is an opportunity to at least try and understand why context is so important. Everyone wants to be heard. No one wants to be discounted.

As a parent of one brown and one white son, their life experiences have been very different. Both are well-educated, polite, empathetic, upper-middle class handsome individuals. However, with one son I have had to have the “talk” on more than one occasion. I have had the responsibility of making him understand because it has meant a matter of life and death at times.  My sons are in their thirties, and we still have the “talk.” I am more afraid now than I have ever been. Having two young grandsons, it saddens me that this tradition must continue, but it is a matter of life and death. I see their innocence and think the “talk” won’t stop during their life time.

Our brown son has been pulled over multiple times by police, was run down by a “respectable” fraternity member with a pick-up truck as a grad student and has been refused service at a sporting goods store. He was told that it was the policy that shoes cannot be tried on prior to purchase. He is a social worker. He has called me on the phone when police have been harassing his students during school programming. As a mother, you feel completely helpless on the other end of phone listening to a potentially deadly situation when the phone goes silent. There is a real reason for the anger, the fear and the frustration. My family’s experiences are not atypical. 

Many white friends will say that is too bad, and say they are sorry for the way he has been treated because they know him and know what a nice person he is. They will add, but that’s not the norm. Friends of color understand these experiences as all too common place. My white son has not had these experiences. I do not hate police or other white people. I am one, but I know things need to change. I need to help be part of that change. 

I also offer a glimpse into my world as to “why” people saying they don’t see color it is so very irritating. My first reaction is, “Of course you do!” But then, I have to step back and consider their context clues. Maybe they are trying to say, “I am trying to treat everyone fairly.”  

They don’t understand my angst as a mother. I must remember that I have a responsibility to listen to theirs. (But please, if you say this, do stop saying, “You don’t see color.”)

Desmund Tutu said, “My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.”

My hope is that we take the context of this time to reflect and help one another. 

Respectfully…

VEE