As I sit down to pen this post, the words seem few. But yet, there still seems so much to say. How do I say this well? How does one compact an approximate 20-some years of events and experience into one nice-sounding, semi-concise letter? How do we mark this awesome milestone?
As you stand tall in “The Shoe” (or elsewhere) this day, accepting your unquestionably well-earned diploma, so much will be running through this proud parent’s mind…
Gratitude…
The older I get, I’m not certain there’s any healthier emotion. I’m not certain any other emotion keeps life in perspective, humbles us, prompts peace, joy, confidence, all at the same time. Be grateful, son. Learn to feel it. Express it. Be generous with it. I think of a simple example — how neither of your siblings nor so many others were accompanied by any Pomp and Circumstance only one year ago. Don’t compare; just be aware. Let your awareness always be cause for gratitude.
An added note… Be sure the gratitude is not aimless. To be grateful means to give thanks not only for something but also to someone for that something. That goes with other people; that goes with figuring the faith thing out. One of the sweet, profound beauties of life is that the more we learn to give the Creator of the universe and the Creator of us thanks — to directly express our gratitude to Him — the more we are aware of who He is and who we are in relation to him. That puts life in perspective and keeps too much else from getting in the way.
Pride…
To be clear, pride and arrogance are not the same thing. To be arrogant means to have an exaggerated sense of self. Pride is different; it’s not exaggerated. Pride is this quiet sense of dignity. It’s a confidence embedded within the awareness of achievement, knowing you’re uniquely gifted, trusting the next step before you, even if it’s not exactly what you would have designed. You will go far, my son. I have no doubt of that. Know we are for you. Always. We believe in you.
Humility…
Oh, how I wish as a culture we embraced this consistently more. Beware, son. Humility is not universally encouraged. We’ve all had moments in which we’ve been tempted to dismiss the value of life’s arguably most attractive virtue. There will never be a moment when humility isn’t prudent. There will never be a moment when humility isn’t called for. There will never be a moment in which humility should be forsaken. In winning, losing, weakness and strength, be humble. Admit it. Your humility will prompt the ease of extension of both generosity and grace. Such is how one truly wins friends and influences people. Oh, the places you’ll go.
Learning…
Ok, ok, so you didn’t choose my beloved alma mater, but I do deeply respect your choice (except during football season, you know). No doubt you made the choice that was best for you. But don’t let your education end now. Let this be the beginning. Be a lifelong student. The wisest people I know are the ones who keep learning. There need not be any more 17 page papers, all nighters with an insane amount of caffeine, or even late nights at the library. But what the sagacious have in common is they know education never ends. Resist the lure to simply pad what you already think you know. Our culture isn’t very good at this. Be different. Read. Read more than the sports section. Read from the different. The diverse. Resist that tribal thinking. Tribal thinking can be dangerous, as it rarely expands any learning.
Honor…
I really wish I had some neat, maybe even poignant, concise poetic phrase that we could end on here. But it’s harder; it’s so much bigger. I know honor is important. It’s timeless. You can never outdo another in honor. Still try. When we honor other people, it changes how we see them; it changes how we feel about them. It leads to compassion. Empathy. And it makes it harder to craft those human hills we conveniently suggest we’ll die on. But here’s the catch: most of us are selective in our honor. There is no wisdom in that. Work to honor all. Love another as yourself. Leave no one out. Ever. That’s authentic honor.
So today we sit… quietly… if anyone notices, probably, too, with a few silent tears falling down our face… trying to take it all in…
Grateful for your graduation… proud of your accomplishment… humbled by your growth… learning how very much you have taught us… and so, so honored…
Honored, absolutely, by who you are, son… and who you are becoming.
Well done. So well done. Congratulations, too. I can’t wait to see what’s next…
Joyfully… always…
AR