defense of what?

Let’s face it.  This is a tough issue.  What is marriage?

 

I mean it.

 

Where’d it start?

Who ordained it?

What’s the purpose?

 

Contrary to the politicized, popular belief, the gay and lesbian persons in our communities are not any new kind of super-villain.  Contrary, too, to the polar opposite, politicized, popular belief, the evangelicals in our neighborhoods are not holders of hatred and wishers of evil.  The reality is that each is a group of individuals attempting to follow a way that seems right to them.

 

But funny how we work sometimes.  We aren’t always ok with allowing others to seek the way they currently feel is right — especially when that path is the opposite of what we embrace.  So many on all sides (even those who consider themselves highly intelligent) prefer squelching opposing paths and opinion.

 

So where is the conversation?  Can we discuss what marriage is about?

 

The discourse is certainly not being currently held on Facebook or on any social cyber-space site (which in my opinion, may be the final frontier of where arrogance is still both lavishly practiced and praised).  Those one-liner status updates on all sides of the issue are not helping, friends.

 

Where is the conversation?

 

What’s the purpose of marriage?

 

Was it established by the organized church?  If so, then what role does the government play in offering any definition?

 

Also, for those who stand by the historical tradition of one man and one woman united in holy matrimony, where is the respectful conversation regarding how pathetic (sorry, I truly mean no disrespect), but yes, how pathetic some of our heterosexual cultures of marriage have become?  What have we taught and accepted in regard to addiction, adultery, absent fathers, divorce, pornography, etc.?  Yes, some of us have been in some tough situations.  I’m only asking what are we teaching?  And when we teach and encourage, do we do so with a truth and grace applicable to all?

 

Men are called to cherish women; women are called to respect men; it’s wise that we both cherish and respect one another.  But we get angry or hurt and then feel justified in withholding one of those actions.  Then the so-called, damaging ‘crazy cycle’ begins.  That cycle — regardless of gender — also seems to clash with any concept of a God-honoring marriage.

 

Friends, I do not know all the answers.  I know that there are good people on all sides of this debate; many, too, remain somewhere in the middle.  My desire, no less, is to engage in a humble, respect-filled conversation where we quit assuming all who feel differently than us are either ignorant or evil.  Some of the cheers and chants and status one-uppers — while perhaps fun to pen — do not help the conversation… and they do not create positive dialogue.

 

Hence, here’s the question:  what is marriage?  What is worth defending?

 

Perhaps if we started there — with listening and respecting replacing boasting and chastising — we would influence others in a way that not even the Supreme Court can.

 

Respectfully,

AR