I hate them.
Yes, I mean “hate.”
I loathe, detest, despise, and abhor. I hate them.
They are slimy… kind of briny, too.
Yes, I hate pickles. Ask my dearest Facebook friends. They regularly enjoy egging me on, finding the latest, creative Vlasic variety, making all sorts of kosher comments.
Did I mention I hate them?
Let’s be clear: I have good reason for hating them. They taste awful. Their texture is sludgy; they are not smooth; and their greenish color is simply not appetizing. And even though, according to Statista based on the U.S. Census data and Simmons National Consumer Survey (and even though it’s totally crazy that we keep statistics on these things) 233.12 million Americans consumed pickles in 2017, it changes nothing.
I hate them. And every one of those actual 233.12 million is simply blind, wrong, or seriously misguided.
I hear you…
“AR, you hate something? … someone?
You hate it?”
Yes… yes, I do.
“But don’t you know that hate is foolish? How it usually represents more of a blindspot in the beholder than in the object of the abhorrence?”
You don’t get it.
I have a reason for my hate.
My hate is justified.
And the minute we justify our own hate, the minute we cement the blind spot… the minute we lose our objectivity — regardless of our intelligence. Our hatred has impeded our ability to think clearly — and our ability to love and work with the different.
This is tough, friends. I get it. Some things and people make us really mad. Understandably. But let us not be willing to sacrifice a greater virtue, giving our hate and judgment a life of its own.
I can hear you now. Here come even more kosher comments, disrespectful memes, and even that oddball ad that thinks someone, somewhere desires Chapstick in some sort of dill flavor.
And did you see Sonic? The drive-up fast food restaurant recently announced that they will be selling pickle slushies this summer.
Are you kidding me?
First pickle Pringles, then pickle vodka, and now the summer slushie?
These people are nuts! Don’t they realize how awful they are?
You mean they don’t all think like me?