I did it again.
Can you believe it?!
And it was on the way to church… to church — for goodness sakes!!
The light had turned green, and yet the Rogue driver in front of me didn’t move…
… one Mississippi… two Mississippi…
HONK!
Ok, it really wasn’t that loud; it was more like a “honk” — much lighter, if you will.
And then I realized it. There are four types of “honkers” in current culture…
First, the “I Will Never” Honker…
… No matter what, no matter how egregious the error on another’s behalf — even if they are totally in the wrong and thinking crazily, irrationally, and all of the above — I will not… I refuse — not… I will never honk my horn to bring attention to you… I just couldn’t do that to another…
Second — (yes, moi) — the “Tap, Tap” Honker…
… I really don’t want to… I don’t want to honk my horn at you. I want to treat you well and respect you, but the reality is that you’re not acting wisely. You need to move or do something different. Hence, I will lightly tap on my horn, letting you know I’ve noticed, but I have no desire to embarrass, shame, or disrespect you…
Next, the “Less-Than-Half-a-Second” Honker…
… Oh, my… I have no time for this. You are inconveniencing me so much… you are a freaking menace to society! Don’t you realize it? MOVE! And move now! Geesh…
And lastly, the “Flip-You-Off-While-You’re-at-It” Honker…
… Not only are you a frickin’ menace to society, but you shouldn’t even exist! Get the $#!%&! out of here! You are a disgrace to the human race. You shouldn’t have ever been born!..
[Pause… deep breath…]
So question…
Which of the above “honkers” will make an effective difference on another’s journey?
Which of the above “honkers” makes you want to be a little more like them?
As one witty, recent meme suggested: “FYI: If you beep your horn 0.3 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off my car, lay on the hood, and feed birds for an hour.”
In other words, honking at people more often than not, doesn’t produce the kind of change we say we believe in; it doesn’t make people act more like we desire; it doesn’t make them want to be more like us. They might move in the moment, so-to-speak, but lasting change is typically not a result of demonstrative honking.
So where do we need to change how we let another know of their perceived error in judgment? … an error that inconveniences us or is in our way somehow? What if it’s ridiculous, even foolish behavior?
Great questions.
Maybe we should spend more time asking and listening as opposed to finding louder ways to honk our horn.
Respectfully…
AR
To all of the above, I wittingly respond: “Oh honey, don’t get your panties in a wad,” turn, look them square in the eye, smile, and give them my prettiest, five finger wave!
There is a 5th, lesser known honk, used in China. It’s the, “because the roads here are essentially lawless, I’m making you aware of my presence so you don’t kill me when you make your boneheaded move” honk. It’s actually fairly amicable most of the time. On the written drivers test, one of the most frequent options you can choose as a possible answer is, “honk continuously.” It’s never the right answer on the test, but in reality, always honk continuously.
I get frustrated with Erik when he doesn’t honk at someone and I think he should. Not sure what category that puts me in. Reminds me though that a) justice is no guarantee and b) we don’t like not being in control.