morality police

police-tapeLots of incidents seem to be hitting us smack dab in the face lately… incidents that seemingly demand a response…

The events of Ferguson, Missouri, where an unarmed black man was killed by a white police officer…

Michael Sam, the first openly gay, potential professional NFL player, who was cut by the St. Louis Rams… 

The Ray Rice assault case — the Ravens star running back, hitting his then fiancé — now wife — in the face, knocking her out…

The NFL’s even bigger star, Adrian Peterson, spanking his son with some kind of stick, leaving cuts, bruises, maybe more…

There are all sorts of angles one could embrace in each of these cases. We could make logical, passionate cases for or against a single side in Ferguson… for or against the employment of Michael Sam… for or against the extent of discipline levied against Peterson and/or Rice. Each of the above is significant.

My desire today, no less, is not to tackle the specifics of each incident. My desire is to instead capture an aspect that seems to gird each of the above. Somewhere, somehow, in some way, we seem to have embraced some semblance of morality police — a societal enforcement epidemic…  an enforcement that often impedes a fair processing of all the facts…

The “police” seems to say:  “We will decide what’s right and wrong… we will decide how far one can go… we will decide what’s good and true and right.”  In other words, “If you disagree with ‘we,’ you must be wrong”… as if due process is not necessary nor good…

Where has this police force come from?

What do they base their instant, self-pronounced wisdom upon?

And who are they?  Who are the “we” that decides such moral absolutes?

The reality is that in each of the above, we don’t know all the facts; new perspectives and information continues to arise; and thus, reasonable people may sincerely disagree on perspective and appropriate consequence…

… an unarmed black man was killed by a white man in Ferguson; were his hands innocently in the air? Did he attack the officer first? What don’t we know?  … a gay football player was cut from his team and not quickly picked up elsewhere; was it because he was gay? Was he not good enough? Or were all the cameras and distractions that accompanied the 7th round draft pick a factor? What more must we learn?  … a football player beats his fiancé unconscious, but she marries him and stands with him to this day; is our opinion more valuable than hers? What can we not see?  … and a player who spanked his son — maybe beat him — maybe in a way that was abusive; wasn’t it only a few decades ago that the majority of parents spanked?  Is there any more to this story that those who rush to judgment — one way or the other — have omitted in their emotional hastiness?

There are multiple potential, valid perspectives to each of the above; we don’t know all the specifics of what happened where.  But the morality police don’t allow for the time to process wisely — for the time to sort through each of those perspectives.

The challenge I see is that these so-called police don’t pause before proclaiming consequences; they don’t seem to think before they act. They dismiss due process, not recognizing the sagacity and shrewdness the time involved affords. Due process allows for the time necessary to uncover all relevant facts so that no judgment is rushed nor injustice applied.

Rushing to justice will never be wise… especially when multiple incidents keep hitting us smack dab in the face… incidents that seemingly demand a response… at the right time.

Respectfully…

AR

noise levels

denialCome on feel the noise.

Do you hear what I hear?

Come on, come on; you gotta hear me now…

We often don’t move until the volume increases — until we actually hear something. Just as Thursday’s post acknowledged how our sense of seeing changes us, our sense of hearing makes us move. When the cultural clamoring increases to conscience-stricken decibels, we act. Finally. Just like this week…

Just this week… across the country…

We made much noise after a video of the assault of his wife by Ravens running back, Ray Rice, was made public. While the incident occurred in February — and his wife has consistently stood by his side, pleading for privacy and mercy — the outrage was still loud…

“Ray Rice should never play in the NFL again… although I know we are a country of second chances… The league does not need anyone like Rice representing it.” — James E. Causey, writer for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

“The NFL has lost its way. It doesn’t have a Ray Rice problem; it has a violence against women problem… The only workable solution is for [NFL commissioner] Roger Goodell to resign…” — Terry O’Neill, President of the National Organization for Women

“The owners and the NFL need to publicly and loudly fire you.” — (again to Goodell)  ESPN’s Keith Olbermann

Rice had already been suspended for two games; after the noise, however, he was suspended indefinitely. He was cut by his team. The calls now continue for action to be taken against the commissioner, believing he knew, should have known, and/or should have done more.

Just this week… across the globe…

We continued to make more noise about the ongoing atrocities in Iraq and Syria by ISIS, the violent terrorist group. Our voices reached a peak level with the beheading of a second American journalist. Friends, here’s the embedded challenge (put away any partisan hats, please). This horrific persecution by the Islamic terrorists has been going on for months… months. Violent for years, their executions, beheadings, stonings, and crucifixions, etc. have been going on all year. Only after the decapitation of a second journalist was made public, did we get loud. Thus, our government — cautious or confused –pending your partisan bent — only announced some kind of specific strategy after the nation was loud.

We respond to loud noises.

A bump in the night… a bang on the door… a cheer from the TV set… when the noise is loud, we respond.

Let me not suggest one way or the other that any of the responses above are errant, misguided, or ill-advised; the Intramuralist is not evaluating the wisdom of the response. My point is that our response has opportunity to be most effective if we are prudent and proactive… if we think things through ahead of time… foreseeing possibility… foreseeing the danger or damage… acting accordingly… and thus not putting our reputation on the line…

… by seemingly, simply responding to the noise.

Respectfully…

AR

if you could see what I see

IMG_1931Seeing isn’t just believing. Seeing is feeling more deeply, justifying our passion…

This day 13 years ago changed us. What we saw changed us. Most of us didn’t witness the exact moment those planes first hit — or at least when the first plane flew shockingly into floors 93-99 of the North Tower. 17 minutes later, when United Airlines Flight 175 crashed into floors 75-85 of the South Tower, we saw that. We felt it.

We saw the first responders. We saw the people in the streets, staring upwards, shocked and stilled by the most serious day of infamy the youngest generations have ever known.

And then we saw the buildings fall.

It wasn’t a movie; it wasn’t fiction; it wasn’t any promotion of Hollywood ‘s latest action film. This was real life. And as the beams of those buildings shockingly melted before our eyes — and one by one, each floor gave way — instantly crushing all that remained within — we gasped in unspoken horror and heartache, moved by what we saw. What we saw changed us.

I wonder:  why does seeing make such a difference?

Prior to today’s somber remembrance of 9/11, earlier this week we witnessed the news and sports networks once again collide, as their lead stories focused on the behavior of onetime NFL superstar, the Ravens’ Ray Rice.

In February Rice and his then-fiancee, Janay Palmer, were each arrested on an assault charge. A video was released four days later showing Rice dragging her out of an elevator where the assault took place. Rice was indicted; the charges against Palmer were dropped. They soon married.

After allowing the legal system to run its course, the NFL suspended Rice for the first two games of the this season. He played in the preseason still — curiously greeted by a standing ovation from Baltimore fans, who seemed to sense his remorse.

Then this week — seven months later — the video from inside that elevator was released. We saw what Rice did. We knew it before, but this week we saw it. It changed us. Commentator after commentator clamored for more consequences, and Rice was immediately cut by his team and suspended by the league. Yet what was the difference?

We saw it. We saw what happened.

Seeing changes how we feel. It justifies an emotional intensity that often otherwise is a bit more calloused. Seeing, however, does not change what actually happened. It only changes how we react.

It thus brings me back to the whole concept of faith… a concept which has been so diluted in contemporary culture, to the point where so many of us say, “Well, you believe what you want to believe, and I’ll believe what I want to believe, and that will be true for each of us.” That’s not logical. What’s true is true regardless of whether we see it or not.

The wisdom lies in knowing and feeling — being confident and assured — regardless of what we see… embracing truth as truth in absence of our own, eyewitness activity.

Respectfully…

AR

the right thing

long_term_exposure_to_air_pollution_may_increase_risk_of_hospitalization_for_lung_heart_disease_ymr44As a current events observer, one of the aspects I find increasingly frustrating is how politics has polluted governance. To pollute: “to contaminate with harmful or poisonous substances.” To contaminate: “to make impure.” Call me a purist, but I believe government is less effective and ethical when pollution reeks.

Of course, each who contributes to the reeking seems to savvily steer the focus onto someone or something else… i.e. the smokers blame the advertisers who blame greedy corporations or maybe even a tobacco farmer in the Carolinas… the environmentalists blame the gas guzzlers who blame the car manufacturers who also blame greedy corporations, even blaming Al Gore’s unsuccessful campaign manager (…sorry, couldn’t resist).

My point is that we no longer govern purely and those involved refuse to admit it (… see any current Press Secretary).  Politics influences even the intelligent, and the end result is less effective, less ethical governance. While certainly not indigenous to the current administration, look at their weekend announcement — in this instance in regard to immigration reform.

The President and multiple others on all sides of the partisan aisle believe illegal immigration should be reformed, especially after the chaotic immigration influx along the nation’s southern border this summer. The parties disagree, however, in the specifics. Pres. Obama is believed to be less restrictive in this area, potentially granting some form of relevant amnesty.  Yet because Obama has been unable to pass what he desires, he boldly announced earlier this summer that he would bypass Congress via executive order.

Unfortunately, though, for those loyal to the administration, bypassing Congress in this area is considered an inappropriate approach by a majority of Americans (see Rasmussen Reports, 35%). Americans don’t feel it’s the right thing to do.  But with mounting pressure from Democrats running for re-election — who may need the votes of that other 65% — Pres. Obama has decided not to act… now. The White House announced over the weekend that they will plan on taking executive action after the November elections.

Here comes my Intramuralist, purist note: if it’s not the right thing to do now, then it’s not the right thing to do. Politics is influencing governance.

“The time is always right to do what is right.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

“My basic principle is that you don’t make decisions because they are easy … you make them because they’re right.” — Theodore Hesburgh

“The right way is not always the popular and easy way. Standing for right when it is unpopular is a true test of moral character.” — Margaret Chase Smith

If something is the right thing to do, then it should be done.

Otherwise it’s polluted.

Contaminated.

And impure.

Respectfully…

AR

just a game?

football_fieldEach year we examine the strengths of the Lions and Tigers and tough-tackling Bears. Ok, not the Tigers — they’re still busy playing baseball. Yet as much of the nation is again consumed by the games on the gridiron, the Intramuralist enjoys taking a brief snapshot at the stories behind the stories… the questions and relevant aspects that challenge the notion that football is just a game. Allow me to humbly address some one-on-one…

Dear all owners and players… We have missed you! Question: how will you handle the concussion issue? How can we find a balance in enjoying the game but recognizing that it is dangerous and thus, some will be hurt?

Dear Michael Sam… congratulations on making the Cowboys’ practice squad! The 10 member scout team consists primarily of rookies who were cut in camp and are borderline NFL-caliber players. You have admirably said you don’t want your sexual preference to bring undue attention; you want to be evaluated on your football skills alone.  Are all the cameras — and your postponed reality show — consistent with your aim?  Seems like many are contributing to this, knowingly or not.

Dear Johnny Manziel… You are an exciting player to watch! Before any future accomplishments, maybe learn a few lessons first. Try to embrace humility; remember humility is a good thing. Learn from those who’ve gone before you — from Brady to Manning I & II to also recent rookies such as Newton and Luck. They seem to have more quickly recognized that flamboyancy often falls far short of integrity. Do your job. Best of luck in doing it well.

Dear those currently suspended… Josh Gordon, Jim Irsay, etal. We will miss you while gone some games this year. You have contributed positively to your team, but it hasn’t all been positive. Be sure to maximize the time off, taking full responsibility for what you have done — and not spending so much energy on blaming the league — someone other than self.

Dear Ray Rice… We don’t know exactly what happened between you and your fiance. We know you were married after the incident in which you struck her and dragged her off that elevator. There is no place for domestic violence. I think you know that. I think most people know that. While I hate it when people use domestic violence vernacular for rhetorical persuasion (see Wasserman Schultz, D., chairman of the Democratic Party, who last week compared a sitting governor to a man who beats his wife — geesh), I realize this is a painful and personal issue. Learn from your mistakes. Grow.

Dear Peyton Manning… were you really fined $8,268 during the pre-season? … for taunting?? Is that not the first taunting penalty we’ve ever seen from mild-mannered you? (P.S. Any chance we could amusingly see another?)

Dear NFL fine-makers… really?? You fined Saints TE $30,000 for dunking footballs over the goalposts because of excessive celebration? Please. Surely you’ve got more important things to monitor (please see Ray Rice, Josh Gordon, etc. above).

And so we again begin this season with much to watch. Will the Seahawks repeat? Hardly anyone repeats. Will we witness the end of the careers of QB’s Brady and Manning? Twilight often seems to come so early. Who will get hurt? I pray no one’s life is endangered.

From the Dolphins to Dallas to the Packers and Pittsburgh… from the Bengals and Bucs to the Giants and Jets… let the games begin… and of course, the aspects that challenge the notion that this is just a game.

Respectfully…

AR

oh mighty isis

Isis fighters, pictured on a militant website verified by AP.So once again, this week the world witnessed the gruesome beheading of an American journalist via terrorists’ heinous hands. Let me humbly share a limited listing of what we know for certain about the deteriorating situation… and what we do not know.  First… what we know…

ISIS, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria — the terrorist group responsible for the deaths of journalists James Foley and Steven Sotloff — was formed out of an al-Qaeda affiliate in Iraq, with its origin traced back to the Second Gulf War in 2003. It was originally known as the Islamic State of Iraq (ISI) and then ISIS or ISIL. ISIL refers to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant — the Levant equating to the Eastern Mediterranean border region, which consists of Cyprus, Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Palestine, and part of southern Turkey.

The group has declared themselves a “caliphate,” an Islamic state led by a supreme religious and political leader known as a caliph – or a “successor” – to Muhammad. They thus claim religious authority over all Muslims in the world. Their stated goal is to bring other Muslim-inhabited regions under their political control.

ISIS has also declared that the caliphate is established “for the purpose of compelling the people to do what the Sharia (Allah’s law) requires of them.” That means that anyone who does not believe in ISIS’s interpretation of Islam must either convert or die.

They currently hold territory in both Syria and Iraq. With Syria divided by civil war since the spring of 2011, ISIS has capitalized by seizing significant territory — possibly up to half of Syria — and half of Iraq, too, as stated yesterday by Defense Sec. Chuck Hagel.

The group is violent — some say barbaric. As stated in August by United Nations representatives, “We are gravely concerned by continued reports of acts of violence, including sexual violence against women and teenage girls and boys belonging to Iraqi minorities. Atrocious accounts of abduction and detention of Yazidi, Christian, as well as Turkomen and Shabak women, girls and boys, and reports of savage rapes, are reaching us in an alarming manner.”

There is increasing significant concern that ISIS will attempt to attack America. A spokesman said last month that “we will raise the flag of Allah in the White House.” Many believe ISIS is more dangerous than al-Qaeda.

Also, in an email to the parents of executed journalist Foley, ISIS said it was acting “as a DIRECT result of your [America’s] transgressions towards us!” They added: “WE WILL NOT STOP UNTILL WE QUENCH OUR THIRST FOR YOUR BLOOD.”

Now… what we don’t know…

We don’t know how the pulling of American troops from Iraq specifically impacted ISIS’s rise to power.

We don’t know if Pres. Obama is intentionally cautious or strategically confused in his response (…partisans will disagree, of course, embracing the art of averring judgment calls with certainty).

We also don’t know when ISIS will gruesomely strike again.

So allow me 3 more things that I believe we should know:

(1) Evil is alive and well on planet Earth.

(2) Negotiating with evil never solves the problem.

And (3) prayer would be wise… prayers for wisdom for the world’s leaders… for protection of those in ISIS’s path… and for the rooting out of such obvious, gut-wrenching evil.

Respectfully…

AR

[Intramuralist Note: sources utilized for the above facts include CBS News, The Christian Post, CNN, NBC News, and Wikipedia.]

what’s bigger

1610794_10204629505367041_8243156950910377348_nThis past weekend I had the privilege to gather with several members of my family. There were 27 of us.

It was full of feasting and joy and precious both one-on-one and large group time. We laughed and cried and were both silly and serious. There were ample antics and fun and adult conversation. There was insightful conversation with those teens and ‘tweens and twenty-somethings, each who seems growing up far too fast. It was a wonderful weekend.

I haven’t always thought every weekend was so wonderful. I will admit to taking some days for granted. I will admit to sometimes taking life for granted. I will admit to often having fallen prey to focusing on the minute as opposed to what’s bigger. I will admit to sometimes allowing the proverbial “elephant in the room” to gain a life of its own. Sometimes I have focused on the less important.

I think as a culture we do that frequently; we focus on the less important. We seem to justify the focus, giving it life, supplementing its energy, allowing emotion and passion and anger and empathy to fuel what once was small, thus seemingly snowballing issues and irritants in size to then appear — yes, appear — as something they are not… something other than the less important.

Look around the world…

Look in Ferguson, Missouri.

Look on the streets of Jerusalem.

Look in Washington, D.C. (… ok… try not to look too hard…).

Look on Facebook.

Maybe even look around your living room.

Look at all the places we justify irritation and offense — where we justify the withholding of love, truth, and respect. Look at all the places where we’re so zeroed in on the plank in another’s eye… often so ignorant of our own.

This past year my sister was surprisingly, shockingly diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer (… sorry… if that’s a proper noun, I refuse to capitalize it; it doesn’t deserve it). It came as news out of nowhere. She is 34.

For years we have all gathered over Labor Day weekend. And while we’re always thankful to be together, let me just say that this year, we were thankful a little more.

When you’re focused on the big picture, it’s a whole lot easier to let bygones be bygones… to let the little things remain little things… to not let petty, earthly irritants seduce any more attention than they deserve… and to not feed nor fuel that which is so obviously less important.

It’s easier to thank God for the sunset and appreciate the rain.  It’s easier to care for the crying babe and withhold all judgment.  It’s easier to be generous in our love, mercy, and grace.

While I would wish my sister’s circumstances on no one, I am thankful for how because of her situation — and because of her amazing, humbling, faithful, positive attitude — we are learning how to love our family. I am thankful for the focus on what’s most important.

This past weekend I had the privilege to gather with several members of my family. There were 27 of us. It was a wonderful weekend.

Respectfully…

AR

let’s talk

6152258096_f0b81ce386_oAfter multiple insights, expressions, opinions, and articulations… silliness, seriousness, sincerity, and sarcasm… stories of triumph, struggle, heartache, and hope… let me say one thing: I’m back!

It is with great joy, my friends, that I pick up my metaphorical pen, resuming our respectful dialogue of current events. I believe that respectful dialogue makes a difference. I believe we can learn and solve when we listen well. I believe much of the world — many of whom are highly intelligent (and even elected) — do not practice respectful dialogue (… and we wonder why they rarely seem to craft effective solution).

Each year, when we feature our summer Guest Writer Series, we are practicing what we preach, so-to-speak. Multiple persons from multiple bents express perspective that perhaps we do or do not share. We can learn from them… as long, of course, as the conversation is respectful, even amidst disagreement.

Over the past three weeks, we’ve heard from many… from an author to a state senator to a food bank director… from a retired teacher to a current teacher to a young man living overseas… from a college kid to a stay-at-home mom to a career pastor… from a psychologist to a nonprofit director to a realtor, filmmaker, and wise new grandma.

We’ve heard about much… from news sources to sorrows to everyone needing a superhero… from television to gender identity to the unscrupulous activity of the IRS. The bottom line is that we’ve listened. And unlike far too many who take oaths to represent us, we realize that we learn from listening. The purpose of the Guest Writer Series — in addition to an intentional refreshing and refocusing for this semi-humble blogger — is to model the Intramuralist mantra.

There is thus much more I’m eager to talk about! …

I want to talk about Ferguson, Missouri… what happened there… and how so many reacted wisely and poorly… how so many keep reacting — and feel justified — without knowing all the facts…

I want to talk about the situation in Syria and Iraq… how religious minorities are being hunted, tortured, and persecuted. What are we doing? … is there a measurable strategy? … why not?

I want to talk about James Foley, the American who was beheaded by the Islamic terrorists. There was outrage, yes… shock, too… but will the outrage last?

I want to talk about the college football captain who was hurt last weekend, heroically jumping off a balcony to save his 7 year old nephew, who was supposedly struggling in the swimming pool… “I would do it again for whatever kid it was”… and now it turns out it was all a lie… why did he lie? … why do people in leadership sometimes lie?

I want to talk about atheist Richard Dawkins, who said that it’s “immoral” not to abort a baby with Down syndrome. I want to again discuss how intelligence and wisdom are not the same thing.

I want to talk about a lot of things… what we learn from the younger generation… what our kids keep teaching us… the lack of wisdom in the world… the digression… the authentic sources of hope… the insights, encouragements, dangers, and even opportunities for abundant sarcasm!

Fire up! It’s going to be a fun, insightful season… starting now.

Respectfully…

AR

crossing my own bridge

imagesI have an incredible fear of bridges. It’s not the getting on or reaching the other side. It’s the trusting that the bridge has the ability and strength to withstand the weight in the middle. I suffered a major anxiety attack a couple of years ago while having to drive over the Bay Bridge, which connects San Francisco and Oakland, California. I was not familiar with San Francisco territory or traffic, and I had to do the driving as my husband, contentedly sitting in the passenger seat next to me, was on a very intense conference call with Australia. I remember streams of tears rolling down my face as I crept onto the bridge; absolutely terrified of seeing what lie ahead of me as well as the water that rippled below me.

I suddenly realized I needed to turn the internal faucet off (my personal water works system) or else I would not even be able to see to attack this monster. I was nearly paralyzed yet had no choice but to continue on. I was expecting other cars to honk and drivers to holler at me because I simply could not drive as fast as they in effort to get to the other side. I was discouraged and petrified at the fact that I was failing to get control of myself as my hands and feet started going numb at the halfway point. Facing this momentary adversity was going to be my demise! I had to hold it together, but I was literally crumbling inside! I couldn’t share what I was experiencing to my inaccessible husband — nor did I want him to see me in a bug-eyed “freaky girl” panic mode to make him question, “Is this the hot mess I married?”  I felt utterly hopeless and helpless.

There I was stuck in the absolute center of the bridge… no helicopter to lower a rope and magically lift me out of my despair… no caped superhero to heed my cry and swoop down to save me and my knight in shining amour immersed in closing a deal… no chance at all that I could just call it a day and give up. I HAD TO KEEP GOING IF I WANTED OFF THIS ROLLERCOASTER TO SURVIVE MY DAUNTING TASK OF SURVIVAL!

And of course about ¾ of the way over this bridge, I start having thoughts: what if a sudden earthquake? What if someone is speeding and rams into me sending us flying over the edge? What if there is a traffic jam and we could be stuck for eternity? What if one of the wires or beams was on its last thread? What if all the above started happening all at the same time? Unrealistic thoughts became a reality that could happen at any second. After all, tragedy of all these types have really happened in history — could happen today too, right? This bridge, this day, this car, this driver…DOOM!!! My future seemed delusionally bleak and coming to a close.

Being blinded by my panic up to this point, it suddenly dawned on me that while all this is DE-concentrating the faith in myself to continue, I see the other side of the bridge the entire time!  So I start telling myself, “You’re dumb!” “Major Wuss!” And not only do I see it, I’m driving closer, closer to the safe landing — my destination to regain inner peace, trusted footing, a positive glimmer that I could be victorious in defeating this colossal giant. I’m closer to tomorrow because now I can see the hope of making it across.  As I arrived at my destination safe and sound and unharmed (other than the painful un-prying of my fingers that dug into the steering wheel) I feel overwhelming exhilaration. I wanted to pull over, put the car in park, step on solid ground, and with arms extended high, yell, “I did it! There’s hope for me yet!” What ultimately kept me from doing that is I strongly believe my husband would have me seek counseling when we returned home, and my adrenaline in overdrive made me seeking the closest restroom (go figure).

(*** time to be transparent)  I share that with you because it helps me recognize that there are so many times in life that we experience trouble. Trouble that sometimes creeps in and up on us out of the blue, lasting a few moments and at other times trouble that has potential to be life-lasting. And in all honesty, it doesn’t matter whether this trickling of trouble was begat by us, poured on us by others, or what tsunami of disturbance life has shuffled, reshuffled and slammed into us. Let’s face it. It’s gonna’ happen. We can all agree that life on this Earth does not contain an insurance plan for easy answers, simple resolve, or living on winged foot. Going a layer deeper begs the question, “What do we do with our trouble?” We can either fix it or we can learn to accept what cannot be repaired. Those are the options. **Notice that giving up is not on the list of acceptable options? (you did see that, right?)

I mentioned in my story that the scariest part is wondering if there is strength enough to withstand the weight in the middle — in other words, the piles of stuff that continue to go on in our lives. Well, to put it plainly, life is the ‘middle stuff’.  And in order to cross that bridge, I could NOT let my trust of the other side being there to dwindle — nor did I want myself to become too weak to conquer what lie before me even if the other side was in my view. Dynamics and logistics of what life brings often fog up or even blind our emotional vision to clearly see what’s on the other side of the bridge. It doesn’t mean that it’s not there. IT IS THERE! It’s only when we start believing that it’s not there, that hopelessness creeps up and moves in. And when that happens, everything gets skewed.  Just like my bridge trauma, the other side was there all time… I was hoping for something that my eyes could physically see, yet in my dark pit of desperation, my mental and emotional “eyes” had blinded me from seeing what was really right in front of me all along…HOPE.

Respectfully…

C

bucket filling

colonial_bucket3Many years ago I was privileged to sit in the classroom of an outstanding professor at Butler University. I admit it was an unexpected path that brought me there. My life plan had been un-expectantly turned upside down and inside out…a roller coaster ride, if you will, though I had not purchased a ticket. I was in a state of turmoil with few resources, but much responsibility. Fortunately, wise counsel and helping hands insisted…well, actually “pushed” is a better word… that I go back to grad school to make myself more eligible for career re-entry.

So with battered self-esteem, I did so and fortunately into an education class. This professor made his class not just about methods, psychology, curriculum, but also about real life. Little did I know how much his instruction would influence my career, but also my life. His insights were a tool, not only taught, but practiced by him, and I felt he was speaking to me and my wounded spirit. His wisdoms were useful, encouraging, and healing, not just for the classroom to which I would eventually return, but for every day-to-day encounters then and now.

Dr. D. said we all carry with us an imaginary bucket and that in every encounter be it at home, work, play, street, café, or wherever, we will either take something out of that bucket, or we will put something into that bucket. A frown, a casual ignoring, a demeaning or critical remark…these all take something out of that bucket. However, a personal greeting, a sincere smile, a meaningful compliment, a sharing of mind-expanding ideas… these all put something into that bucket. And if we are alert and sensitive enough to observe the response, it is easy to know which we have done. We also know what someone has done to our own bucket by the feelings generated from the “take-out” or the “put-in.”

Consider what a difference it would make if we would be more about bucket-filling… (even to those who seem to derive pleasure from “take-outs.”) Yes, it is easier to take things out, but the contrast in impact is major. Every day in every encounter, we have this opportunity, this choice, and what we choose to do is really a reflection of our character. Would we visualize the buckets others carry and seek to put something in them… and interestingly, in the process our own bucket gets filled as well.

So thanks, Intramuralist… you know all about filling buckets… including mine.

Respectfully…

DWL