[Originally posted in June of 2009.]
Yes, I am fearful we are going nuts.
There are all sorts of them. Cashews, almonds, walnuts, brazils, filberts, peanuts, pine, and pecans… There exist immeasurable means of preparation. Dry roasted, honey roasted, salted, shelled, redskin, blanched, granulated, not to mention that wonderful cinnamon glazed.
Next we must choose what form we desire the protein to come in… whole, half, pieces, mixed… It certainly makes it hard to choose. Some are grouped together via creative packaging; some are not available at the local grocer; some are available only from preferred networks. And some people, too, are allergic, making eating and obtaining nuts currently impossible.
I am sorry to say, but the cost of nuts has soared. I remember boiled peanuts from Plains, Georgia being significantly less expensive 25 years ago. It is challenging to continue paying more for protein… something that gives us the energy to go on and keeps our bodies in solid shape (thank you, Dr. Atkins).
And so perhaps we should control the ebb and flow of nuts in this country. Perhaps we should socialize both its production and availability. If we overhaul the nut system in this country, perhaps we could save billions! Hail, Plains! We need our nuts!!
Socialism has said to work. At least somewhere. Europe maybe? But aren’t they now severely struggling financially?
Hmmm… forgive my tinge of sarcasm, friends, but the Intramuralist is concerned with the promotion of socialism in this country — government ownership and control of industries… especially now, as I foresee 2 significant hiccups (in addition to the gestational reactions):
Hiccup #1: The nut system overhaul claims to save us billions but cost us trillions. It is money we do not have. Do you know where our government currently finds its bill-paying, auspicious pot of gold? We continue to borrow money from China, and frankly, the Chinese are not known to be crazy about our nuts. (They have also been known not to be crazy about our human rights.)
My friends, no single entity in this country is allowed to operate at a continual, annual loss without either being eliminated or going bankrupt. For the US government to continue borrowing — and to justify specific entitlements being an exception to the rule — it is worrisome indeed… even if it is simply about nuts.
Hiccup #2: If the government controls the nuts, the government will discern which nuts are worthy — and which are expendable. Since the initial nut costs are nothing short of outrageous, they cannot afford to take care of the nut-eaters who are a perceived financial drain on the system. In other words, the government will be picking out the pistachios. Perhaps, in fact, the pistachios will no longer exist. We will then as a country miss out on what even a green, little nut can contribute to our culture.
People who need nuts should get nuts. Even Macadamia. But government assuming control of everyone’s protein choice seems arguably Orweillian. If the control seizing also entails the utilization of a checkbook with zero money left in the account, then financial foolishness is an added, incredibly valid question.
Time to snack on the Thai lime chili cashews in my cupboard. Perhaps the break will enable me to refrain from acknowledging all the nuts involved in this process.