Category: Holiday

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thankful

When I think about Thanksgiving, I think about what gratitude really means. I look at the world around us, and I see a culture so seemingly lacking in thanksgiving — in generous, consistent thanks… a culture that embraces far too much anger, resentment, and self-righteousness. I’ve yet to discern, my friends, how we can be angry and grateful at the same time. I don’t think we can give thanks and still be resentful. I think there’s no way we can be full of any righteous indignation and still possess the humility to give thanks to someone or something else.

Gratitude is personal. It’s not some aimless offering. The colloquial “thank God” doesn’t make a lot of sense unless you add an “s” and a comma. “Thanks, God”… that means far more… That’s direct. That’s intentional… that takes all focus off of self.

I don’t believe we are called to give thanks for all things, but I do believe we can give thanks in all things — especially when I think of gratitude as being something more… as trusting in the great, big God of the universe. I can’t always thank him for my “thorns,” but I recognize that the rose bush doesn’t exist without the thorns. I trust God. That’s enough for me. That trust makes me thankful.

I pause this day, thinking of my sweet sister, Nicole. She is awesome. Ok, so I’m biased — maybe just a little — but ask any who meet her; she’s awesome! Nicole has always been this vibrant, encouraging, positive young lady who makes the whole room brighter. She rarely focuses on the negative — nor on the anger, resentment, righteousness, or self.

Things have changed this last year for her. Nicole was suddenly and shockingly diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. The disease continues to progress; hence, this 34-year-old, beautiful young woman, now walks a life marked by an incredibly challenging, physical reality. She won’t tell you this, but some of her days are really, really hard. And yet, she continues on… still positive… still not focused on self.

In one of our recent conversations, I found myself uniquely stunned. Nicole remains faithful. She is not paralyzed by any fear nor dismayed by the diagnosis. She is not shaken by the huge “thorn” in her life. In fact, she will quietly but boldly tell you, that she still has much to be thankful for… she has a wonderful family; she is surrounded by people who love her; and her relationships are better. It’s amazing how cancer causes people to let you know how they really feel. People have been generous in the outpouring of their love. She gives thanks for that. Her attitude is absolutely amazing.

On this Thanksgiving, may each of us trust God in all things. May we give him thanks. And may we always see the rose bush… even amidst the thorns. Happy Thanksgiving, friends. I am thankful for you.

Respectfully…

AR

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the body

easter-2014-carrick-groovyI have studied the world’s religions.  Granted, I am no scholar, but I have invested extensive, intentional hours researching Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, etc..  I must confess:  the study is fascinating.  Add to that Judaism, the Bahá’í Faith, New Age Movement, and atheism, which also serves as a religion for some.

Amidst the years of study, there is one aspect that continually causes me the greatest pause…

Siddhartha Gautama, commonly known as the Buddha, meaning “the awakened one” and the leader of the Buddhist faith, died somewhere between 400-483 B.C. (the exact timing of his death is disputed).

Muhammad, the founder of Islam, considered by Muslims as the last prophet of God, died in June 632 A.D.

Bahá’u’lláh, the founder of the Bahá’í Faith, died in May of 1892.

Hinduism has no identified single founder… neither does Judaism, the New Age Movement, nor atheism.

The point is that there is no religion other than Christianity that claims a resurrected leader.  Every other religion either boasts a leader whose body has decayed in some sort of tomb — or has no leader, thus existing as an established system of organized, human-created concepts.  There is no disrespect in that statement; rather, it’s a statement of fact.  It is therefore my sense that the reason so many have worked so hard for centuries to discredit the resurrection is because it’s the one aspect that no other religion can ever claim.

Remember that with the exception of atheism, all of the religions mentioned above agree that Jesus Christ was a real person who walked this planet.  Most all also acknowledge that Jesus was a wise man who had a special relationship with God.   Their response to the resurrection?  Mostly silence, as the resurrection has not — and cannot — be disproved.  Jesus appeared to many after his death, and his body was never found.

On this Easter, let me offer an exchange from a respected author, Josh McDowell, whose original goal was to actually disprove the validity of the Christian faith.  He worked tirelessly to refute the life and teachings of Jesus Christ…

A student at the University of Uruguay said to me. “Professor McDowell, why can’t you refute Christianity?”

“For a very simple reason,” I answered. “I am not able to explain away an event in history — the resurrection of Jesus Christ.”

Please note that the Intramuralist will always advocate respect for each person’s faith and point of view.  We are each entitled to that.  Let me also point out, however, that respect does not equate to accepting as equally true.

Respectfully…

AR

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new year: 2014

All things new…

 

New year.  New Balance.  New chapter.  New career.  New kids on the block — and adults to be.  

 

New deal.  New diet.  New England.  Newfound.  New phone.  New iPhone.  New technology.

 

New Guinea.  New girl.  New horizons.  New Haven.  New Jordans.  New Jersey.  New Mexico.  New mercy.  

 

New look.  New life.  New York.  A whole new normal.  Even a new movie.  

 

New Orleans.  Newport.  New Smyrna.  Something new on DVD.

 

New Republic.  New study.  New series.  New season.  New show.  New Sunday night activity.

 

New Testament.  New track.  New top.  New something or another to you and me.

 

New uniform.  New use.  New vacation or view.  New wave.  New world.  New walk or Walking Dead TV.

 

It is no secret; the Intramuralist loves the “new” of the new year.  Not because of Times Square nor any confetti or massive, glitzy, dropping ball.  Not either because of more quaint celebrations in the privacy of our own homes.  The Intramuralist loves the “newness” because of the obvious opportunity it fords… to briefly look back… but then to surge ahead.  The past is the past; the slate is clean.  And no matter the good, bad, or ugly, we now move forward.

 

For pundits and politicians and sportsman and celebrities — for ordinary people such as you and me — moving forward is refreshing.

 

Historically, no less, when a moment of “newness” occurred, ordinary people set a stone in the ground to mark the occasion.  They didn’t mark the moment in order to cast in stone any past fear or failure; they solidly marked the moment so that they could learn from the past — and grow into the future.  To make the most of what’s ahead of us.  Hence, there is a beauty in what’s to come.  There is a beauty in the “newness.”

 

Happy New Year, friends!  Enjoy it.

 

We should.

 

Respectfully,

AR

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year end 2013

So there’s all this focus on annual acknowledgements… the man of the year, woman of the year, person of the year, sportsman of the year, singer of the year, celebrity of the year, year in review, year of yada yada yada…  Prior then to the onset of 2014 and the opportunity to start anew, allow me to add my own year end musings and acknowledgements…

 

First of all, if the Intramuralist was to acknowledge any one person for superlative notoriety, let me tell you who it would not be.  While I have tremendous respect for each of them, it would not be either Peyton Manning or the Pope (not that Sports Illustrated or Time made unwarranted selections).  I simply believe that Peyton’s societal influence is limited, and the extent of the Pope’s influence will be more evident over the course of his tenure than in the mere, initial 9 months of his papacy.

 

It would not be Edward Snowden, the NSA leaker who seemed to be a “runner up” on many year end lists.  I still can’t discern if Snowden is a hero or hoodlum — or perhaps a little of both.  Sorry, but the Intramuralist simply does not believe in paying attention to those who may not deserve the attention.

 

It would not be any politician.  It would not be Pres. Obama, who has not been the honest, uniting president he promised us he would be.  It would also not be any of his political counterparts, for whom so many, honesty is also in question.  Sorry, but if you can’t be honest, you can’t be my person or sportsman or whatever of the year.

 

I suppose as far as people are concerned, the Intramuralist is incapable of making a selection this year.  The reality is that each candidate would pale in comparison to one of my siblings, who currently, totally, amazingly inspires and spurs me on.  None of the above are capable of coming close.  It makes me wonder… makes me wonder who in each of our lives truly spurs us on.

 

I think then, too, of the events of the year gone past… the tragedy in Boston, Syria, and in Nairobi’s Westgate Mall… the downfall of the Obamacare rollout, Miley Cyrus, and our relationship with Russia… the controversy in federal surveillance, NFL officiating, and George Zimmerman’s acquittal… the attraction to zombies, hashtags, and the Harlem Shake… the dominance of Alabama football, the Miami Heat, and the brothers Harbaugh… the fascination with “Duck Dynasty,” selfies, and William and Kate’s new kid… the introduction of Elizabeth Warren, Ted Cruz, and bearded Boston baseball players… the loss of Paul Walker, James Gandolfini, and Nelson Mandela… not to mention Margaret Thatcher, Peter O’Toole, and Tom Clancy.

 

It’s easy to sometimes think the routine events of our days are so dramatic… so intense and burdensome… allowing personal passion to blind us to the sobering significance of some of the events listed above.  Maybe in the year to come we’ll be better at that — better at not being blinded by the things of lesser importance… then again, maybe not.

 

And so we say goodbye to 2013 not with a whimper or bang but with honest reflection.  Consistent with our mantra, we look both back and forward with a desire to dialogue, a willingness to tackle the tough subjects, and a commitment to gird all conversation with respect.

 

While we start anew in 2014 — with new musings, acknowledgements, perspective, and reflection — thanks for joining us in the year now passed.  It was a blessed and banner year.

 

Respectfully… always…

AR

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the day after

If Christmas really means what history tells us…

 

There’s still joy to the world…

Awe amidst silent nights…

And herald angels that still sing.

 

There can be peace on Earth…

Goodwill to all men…

And glad tidings we can bring.

 

Lo, the rose still blooms,

And we have a hope that lasts…

A hope that truly trumps everything.

 

Christmas may be over…

But peace, joy, and hope remain.

 

Respectfully… genuinely… always…

AR

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the annual (edited) night before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house…

The Intramuralist won’t rhyme as much this year — no, not a louse.

 

Allow me to share instead what Christmas is about.

First, though, what it’s not…

 

It’s not about pomp or politics or public display.

It’s not about singers or any old familiar carols play.

It’s not about correctness.

It’s also not about superficialness.

 

It has nothing to do with celebrity…

No “Duck Dynasty,” activist groups, nor Miley Cyrus festivity.

 

It has little to do with self… self-focus… or an “all about me” mentality…

 

Christmas instead has everything to do with a humble manger, humble birth, and a heartfelt response.

 

If the Messiah of the world was born in that stable some 2000 years ago — and there exist exponentially more records of that event than there exist of any manuscript of Homer’s, Plato’s, or Aristotle’s — each a work we teach to be true — then that birth requires a response.

 

Will our response be to really wrestle with it?

Or will we disregard and look away?

 

If Jesus Christ is who he says he is — and did what so many say he did — then how will we each respond?

 

How will we respond?

How will we wrestle with the reality?

 

In humility… in worship… in wonder?

 

Great questions, friends… challenging for each of us.

 

From my house to yours — from my computer to yours, the Intramuralist wishes you the peace, joy, and hope that so uniquely girds this season.  May your days be merry, your moments be bright, and may you find yourself engaging in amazing, authentic wonder.

 

Blessings to all… and to all, yes, a good night…

 

AR

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“war” on Christmas?

Every year at this time, we seem to hear the recharged vernacular about the existence of a “war on Christmas.”  Funny.  I mean, as a nation, I don’t think we’re all that fond of war, but yet we seem to find the term rhetorically pleasing when it best suits our passion… a war on Christmas, war on teachers… war on drugs, poverty, marriage, you-name-it.  As a nation not so fond of war, we sure speak of it frequently.

 

The Intramuralist cannot say with certainty if any “war” exists — and as I learned well from my respected friends in the military — I’m not comfortable with such casual use of the word, “war.”  War is an armed conflict between different nations or groups.  Last I heard, we were still called a united state of America.

 

The controversy, no less, refers to the acknowledgement of Christmas in government, media, and advertising.  Christmas, as evidenced in its name, is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, the long awaited day that the Messiah was embodied in human form.  That’s the meaning of Christmas.  I say that not with any disrespect to the person who does not believe in him.  I say that not with any disrespect to the person who — consistent with many religions, including Islam and Judaism — believes Jesus was a real person who walked this planet but was not the son of God.  I say that not with any disrespect.  I am simply identifying the basis for the holiday.

 

The controversy also is not as simple as some suggest, reducing it to the preference of articulating either “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” or something jolly old else.  A person could say “Season’s Greetings” and still acknowledge God.  Hence, the question is whether or not there is an intentional attempt to omit God during the season.

 

So… asking the better question… I won’t ask whether or not there is any existence of war; but is there an intent to omit any acknowledgement of Jesus in the holiday that originated because of him?  I ask because of what we have again recently witnessed…

 

  • Although changing their mind after a significant nationwide outrage, ESPN rejected a commercial set to run during a college basketball game from Cardinal Glennon Children’s Medical Center.  The executive director of the foundation said the ad was rejected because ESPN found the words “Jesus” and “God” to be “problematic.”

 

  • A nativity scene was removed from Shaw Air Force Base in South Carolina.  The Military Religious Freedom Foundation, which works to eradicate any reference to religion and especially Christianity, pursued the removal, calling it illegal because it was not erected near a chapel.

 

  • Or in College Park, Georgia — similar to multiple places across the country — where elementary school children were to perform their annual Christmas musical program, prior to which the parents each received a letter saying, “Religious songs will not be included.”

 

Not be included.  Intentional omission.  No acknowledgement.

 

I understand that in order to be completely politically correct, we often have to “water things down.”  The inherent challenge, though, is when we water things down so much that we eventually remove the reason for the season.  Make no mistake about it; Christmas is about Christ.  Each of us can choose if and how to celebrate it.  What’s challenging is when we choose how someone else can or cannot celebrate.

 

Interestingly, there actually is a new holiday this time of year.  Perhaps you’ve heard of it:  “HumanLight.”  It was invented by secular humanists 12 years ago, celebrated annually on December 23rd.  It is not a direct attempt to secularize an existing holiday, but it is an intentional attempt to omit any acknowledgement of God.

 

I wonder if HumanLight has any songs… wonder, too, if they can actually be sung…

 

Respectfully…

AR

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the santa tradition

As the Christmas/holiday/yuletide/etc. season is quickly, post-Thanksgiving thrust upon us, a respected friend wrote about her family’s chosen approach in teaching their kids the meaning of this season.  Her approach is not necessarily the Intramuralist’s approach.  Still, I found her thoughts insightful, challenging, and at the very least, reasonable to wrestle with…

 

We don’t “do” Santa in our home. Or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy. Some may gasp in dismay as they feel like we are robbing our children of the magic and fun of being a child and believing in such things. And these are also the ones who gasp and become offended when we share why we have chosen not to do what most of our society does.

Simply put, we don’t want to lie to our kids. “It’s not lying,” some will assert… “It’s pretending. It’s allowing them to believe in something magical… I grew up believing in Santa and turned out just fine.”

But when my child point blank asks, “Is Santa real? Is he the one who really puts the presents under our tree? How would he get into our house? How could reindeer actually fly? How would it even be possible for one man to deliver presents to all of the children everywhere?” I am stuck with a decision. I can either perpetuate a mistruth or I can be honest with them. The root of the Santa tradition (which is also now completely commercialized and heavily marketed) is fiction.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. When my son figured out the truth about all of these make believe characters (when he was 4-5-years-old), his response was: “So every parent lies to their kids? Is everyone a liar?” He seemed appalled at the perceived injustice; he went on to say, “I am going to tell all of my friends. They need to know the truth. They are not going to be happy when they find out about this.” I spent a long time trying to help him understand why people do this. I said things like, “They feel it’s more like pretending; they don’t see it as lying. Different people believe in different things, and that’s okay. We each have to make our own decisions.  And you can’t tell other kids the truth because their parents will be very upset with you, because that’s their job — not yours.”

He eventually calmed down. But how silly it all must sound as we are working so hard to teach our kids about telling the truth and not lying. Lying is bad… but it’s okay for us adults to sometimes lie to our kids — even lying about good or fun things — yet leading them to believe in something that so obviously could never exist. It’s a bit confusing.

Which is another reason we chose to be real with them about these things. We talk a lot about God in our home. We talk about having faith in the unseen. We want them to know and believe in God, and we want them to trust that when we say that God is real, that we aren’t just pretending. We don’t want our kids to question us down the road or be hurt because we led them to believe in something that wasn’t real. It could ruin our credibility.

I am simply sharing why we have chosen to do things the way we have. Each of us really does have to choose our own path, regardless of how less or frequently travelled. We also need to respect one another’s chosen path. Just as we do not condemn others for choosing to embrace the tradition of Santa, we, too, should not be condemned for choosing not to perpetuate what’s untrue.  But it’s funny how defensive people get.  As a society, we aren’t very good at allowing one another to choose; too many get too defensive by the different choice of another.  Why would others be offended when I say we didn’t want to lie?

We each have the freedom to raise our children the way we see fit. In our family, we do things differently. It may not make us the most popular or the most liked. But we do “real” in our home. Real love. Real life. Real celebration. Our hope is that we can raise kids who have real faith in a very real God.  And for us, Santa just didn’t fit into our family.

 

Respectfully,

AR

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thanksgiving

I wrote this post about Thanksgiving… about all we have to be thankful for… and I had lists of all the places and spaces where we need to humbly submit ourselves and give God thanks… where we need to recognize we’re not in control… where we need to give credit to the power and presence that designed us, created us, and still empowers us today — thanking him for all the awesome things which he has so generously bestowed upon us.

 

We can be such an arrogant people.  I can be arrogant!  We like to do so many things for ourselves… we think we’re so smart… think we’re so intelligent… think we have no need of any higher power.  Geepers.  I am learning.  I hope we all are.

 

My encouragement today is thus simple:  slow down.  Pause.  Quit filling up all the empty moments of our day with app’s and applications and people and policy and effort and activity.  Quit investing in criticism.  Take time instead to be still… to rest… to think… to think of others… to give thanks.

 

My related “a-ha” is that we’re typically too busy to give thanks; our busy-ness actually gets in the way.  We spend so much time doing — even doing good things — but all that doing keeps us from giving thanks to someone bigger than ourselves.

 

So slow down.  Give thanks.  Let’s be intentional.

 

Happy Thanksgiving… with an awareness of the incredible blessing God makes available to all…

 

Joyfully,

AR

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origin of thanks

[The primary content of this post first ran on Thanksgiving Day, 4 years ago.  In preparation for the week ahead — and noting all that currently surrounds us, all that makes us busy, and all the news that tempts us to shift our focus to things of lesser importance — my sense is it would be wise to remember the origin of Thanksgiving… and put such into personal practice…]

 

After a treacherous transatlantic voyage during the fall of 1620, the adventurous Pilgrims landed at what is now Cape Cod, Massachusetts.  Their original destination was somewhere in the northern part of Virginia; however, stormy winds blew them off course.  The succeeding winter on the Cape was then grueling and harsh.  Few families survived in tact.

 

The following summer, when life abounded with a fresh hope and rich harvest, the Pilgrims hosted the first Thanksgiving dinner in America.  Legend has it there was no turkey, but there was pumpkin… boiled, I believe.  According to the account written by the leader of the colony, the feast included ducks, geese, venison, fish, and berries.  (No disrespect to the beloved Pilgrims, but I much prefer fresh baked rolls, mashed potatoes, and apple pie… lots of it…)

 

The original feast was designed to thank God for his unmerited favor.  After surviving the rigorous winter and witnessing significant death in their close community, the settlers were grateful for a life in which goodness still obviously existed.

 

In 1789, after approving the Bill of Rights, Congress then “recommended a day of public thanksgiving and prayer” to thank God for blessing America.  On November 26th of that year, President Washington declared said day as the first national day of prayer and thanksgiving, proclaiming:  “Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be.  That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks…”

 

75 years later, after the Civil War ended, President Lincoln established the last Thursday in November as a day to acknowledge “the gracious gifts of the Most High God,” recognizing that “No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things.”  Every president repeated this acknowledgement until 1941 when Congress officially made Thanksgiving a national holiday.

 

The Intramuralist finds it interesting that according to Wikipedia, “Thanksgiving is now primarily identified as a secular holiday.”

 

Perhaps the practice is now secular, but if Wikipedia is accurate, cultural developments have altered the original meaning of the Thanksgiving celebration.  The original meaning is to give God thanks.

 

As the retailers and some irreverent quietly creep increasingly more into the sacredness of the celebration — all the more as we see the day approaching — may our motive this week be simple and pure…  to slow down… following in the footsteps of Washington and Lincoln…

 

… and thanking God for his blessing… for his gifts, available to all.

 

Respectfully,

AR