Here comes the game again… the lights are on… the stage is set… this should be interesting… the game of the night… the game of the month…
What will the refs be like? … silent? … deferring? … biased? Let’s hope not. Replacement moderators just don’t seem all that effective.
Ah, blue for one team — red for the other. Wait — there’s also some pink in there. It is still October, National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The Intramuralist so appreciates how those on center stage still bring attention to someone other than self.
Ok, wait… here come the ground rules… (Mr. Ref, they don’t listen to the rules; haven’t you noticed? Haven’t you seen all that fighting at the bottom of the pile — all that scrapping and punching and grappling when the mics aren’t on?)
There went the coin flip. The incumbent will go first. (Nice posture, by the way, gentlemen… although too many stare downs on the line already… kind of creepy… what are they looking at — each other’s helmet? … tie?)
Hmmm… the teams’ staring continues. Strategists must have said, “You need to look right at the other team.” Oooh… strategists must have also said, “Don’t look so mad,” but that one’s a little harder.
Keep your game face on! Intimidate them! But be sure to look confident and strong.
“I am strong,” the sigh seemed to say.
(Golly, that pronoun “I” came off a little strong there.)
Personal foul! You can’t say that on television! The world is watching.
Lining up again. Next play. Next question. Here we go.
They are fighting… they are actually fighting! Throw the flag! Throw the flag!!
Ooops… there went the flag. But once again, of course, the teams disagree on who the foul should be on. They even disagree on what the foul should be about.
Unsportsmanlike conduct! Yes, the whistle blows again.
Yikes, he was offsides there. (Funny how they always deny it.)
Quit grabbing! That’s holding!!
15 more yards… or was that seconds? It’s hard to discern sometimes.
I, me, my, myself.
We hear that a lot in this format. I’m stunned, in fact, at how much these leaders refer to themselves and their plethora of accomplishments. Hmmm… I would think leadership equates to a little more humility.
Geepers… that sure seemed like an illegal block. Then again, that can only be employed by the moder- – I mean, referee… that is, if the ref gets too involved.
A call for leadership… yes, I like that… responsible, ethical, knowledgeable, transparent, courageous, consistent, non-political… humble, too… oh, wait… they aren’t that good at that.
Ah, invoking the name of those who’ve gone before us — those “Hall of Famers,” so-to-speak. We can almost see the names on the back of the jerseys… J. Kennedy… R. Reagan… yes… invoke those names; it makes us feel better. They also employ the names they believe will make us think lesser of the other team — or maybe that they’re a little weaker, less effective somehow… J. Carter… G. Bush (p.s. I can’t put of their other choice words in print).
Hey, teams, have you made any mistakes? Can you admit it? What personal fouls will you acknowledge you committed?
Are you kidding?! We only acknowledge fouls that are visible and proven!
And that, my friends, is what’s wrong with Monday Night Football… I mean, the presidential debate… I mean, football…
Sometimes it’s hard to tell…