Current Event – Page 70 – intramuralist ™

12/22/2016

the first star trek

One of the most poignant perspectives of the Christmas story, whether or not one adheres to the Christian faith, is the expectancy of all those in active pursuit of something good.

The Bethlehemites and key players involved didn’t just sit around, fumbling with some semblance of a remote, loosely surfing or scanning for something new to entertain them.

Neither did they simply react to some noise or community disturbance — like when a siren blares down our street — and we each suggest to one another we go take a look.

It wasn’t casual. It wasn’t happenstance.

It was an intentional pursuit.

What strikes me arguably most all those years ago, is the deep, genuine, eager expectation…

The Magi went after the manger; they traveled most probably thousands of miles in pursuit of the promise. Call it, if you will, the “first star trek” — although allow me to humbly acknowledge, the title is not an Intramuralist original (and with all due respect, no one, to my limited knowledge, exhibited any especially unusual ears).

Little is actually known about these Magi, these “wise men” or “kings,” as often depicted. There exists only one historical reference, reporting that they came “from the East” — quite possibly from Persia — and tradition then tells us that they had a reputation for astrology. Hence, what we know is that they actively trekked after the Messiah, and something that was already meaningful to them — yes, the star, since they were astrologers — got their attention.

It causes me to pause this holiday season, wondering how expectant I am, wondering what I am most searching for…

How am I preparing for this season? What am I doing besides making my lists and checking them twice?

What reflection would be wise, especially before 2017 is ushered in?

And what is God using to get my attention?

… after all, he will no doubt use something that is already meaningful to me.

What am I searching for? For what am I looking?

Is it something good? … peace? … joy? … hope, harmony, or reconciliation?

I keep wondering: am I looking for what is good?

It strikes me profoundly that the very first star trek was in eager expectation of what was good. That expectant hope changes everything.

Respectfully…
AR

12/15/2016

a diverse roundtable – part 3

[The conversation continues with Brent, Janie, Mike, Roni, Ronnie, and Ruth… 6 diverse individuals who recognize intentional respect as the first, best step forward.]
_____

AR: So let me ask a question. When someone doesn’t share your stated fears or concerns, how do you work with that? How do you talk to him/her?

RONI: Often by what someone doesn’t say, you can ask questions to understand someone’s fears.

JANIE: Am I the only one in the “south” or close enough to understand the Confederate Flag remains a serious way of life? Not making fun of it. I’m saying that there exist regional influences. Hence, are the fears different depending on the region where we live?

AR: Great question, Janie. And whether we relate or not, share them or not, what should be our approach?

MIKE: First, I acknowledge that the fears are real, sincere, and not contrived. Then I would offer the hope that the demonizing in which both sides portrayed the other was probably worse than reality.

RONI: As far as the “fear factor,” it is real. It’s like the the reality my two sons face when dealing with police and others is very different. (I’m not against the police and am not saying they are bad.) One son is white, and one son is bi-racial and very brown. However, my “brown” son has been harassed when he was doing nothing. I truly fear for his safety. Both parties may have demonized, but there was an unleashed meanness that is real. I appreciate your perspective Mike, but am afraid Pandora’s box is opened and can’t be closed.

MIKE: I do think the demonizing exceeded reality, but I also recognize some ugly elements of society that embraced the candidates, and the candidates did not denounce them, because they wanted the votes. I certainly hope they don’t govern that way, but acknowledge that remains to be seen. Skinheads are not going to rule this country. The vast majority of us oppose that.

JANIE: Roni — Pandora’s Box! Thank you. I could NOT find that in my brain cell!

RUTH: That’s another shock — the seeming permission given (or taken) for an unleashing of such hidden ugliness and nastiness. I am shocked to hear those reports from here and there. The fears I can understand, but I hoped in reality we were past so much of the racism etc. as a society!
Has the perception of being disregarded, some thinking self-righteously that “since the constitution and executive powers have been overstepped,” they are justified in now ugly backlash unleashed? … by a “minority of the majority”? WAY too many bad stories. The only hope I take is that at least, like puss oozing from an infection, maybe now it’s out, we can begin to deal with it.

MIKE: Just as MLK taught, folks, we overcome hate with love. So as this ugly element of society feels more comfortable coming out into the open, let us be loving rather than hateful toward each other.

RUTH: Agree! We shall overcome… someday!

RONI: I agree.

JANIE: Forceful denunciation is missing — can’t come together when “you” are insulting the people with whom you want to become friends. I suggest re-reading Reconstruction and the Northern treatment of the South.

RONI: Ubuntu is missing. So is the concept of ichi-go-ichi-e. Heard an interesting movie line that seems to sum “thangs” up for the political parties:
Little Rascal one: “Why don’t you look where you’re going?”
Little Rascal two: Why don’t you go where you’re lookin’.”
I think this applies to both parties.
Both parties have ideology which diminishes healthy dialogue. I appreciate AR’s reaching out to lead to understanding, not necessarily agreement, but at least a way to provide a vehicle to deeper insight.

Learning styles and exposure of people’s life trauma seems to have been amplified by this election cycle with no healing mechanisms. You just don’t “get over” the opened wounds brought out this election.

RUTH: I, too am so blessed by a diverse network of family friends. I’d love to hear more definition of the concepts you mentioned, Roni. What do they mean personally to you?

AR: Yes, Roni… “ichi-go-ichi-e”?

RONI: “Ubuntu” — cooperation. I lift you and you lift me. “Ichi-gu-ichi-e” — one time, one meeting.
Only get today. Make the most of each new experience. Reconciliation hearings were painful but honest.

JANIE: WOW! Roni, we would be BFF’s!
_____

[It’s amazing what respectful dialogue can do.]

More soon in regard to how we overcome, how we each fuel division, and some specific insights. Two more posts. Stay tuned.

Respectfully…
AR

12/13/2016

a diverse roundtable – part 2

[Continuing with Brent, Janie, Mike, Roni, Ronnie, and Ruth… 6 diverse, gathered individuals — all over the political, social, and demographic map. They each advocate for respectful dialogue — no matter the passion, no matter the supposed “side” — no matter the chickens, eggs, “tastes great’s” or “less filling’s.” Intentional respect is the first, best step forward…]

BRENT: I’m very curious to hear what everyone thinks along the lines of how much control truly lies with the people in our government, one that keeps growing in federal power.

RONNIE: Brent, my answer to your last question: zero, nada, zilch and none. Best thing to happen in this country in truly draining the swamp is have a good old revolution.

BRENT: How do we even begin to go about moving the power back to the states and localities? I also think a lot of the problem is that we now face a generation growing up where entitlements are the norm.

JANIE: I raised three non-political sons to always know who they liked and research the one they did not. Taught my college and high school students to do the same. Pick an issue you like and research the other’s viewpoint. We don’t encourage that today.

RONNIE: Could I post a few videos for Brent on what a real convention should look like if we want to drain the swamp?

JANIE: Wait Ronnie; the word “compromise” — today no one wants to use it. Working together. And no one takes the time to research or to listen.

BRENT: It’s comforting to know there are still teachers teaching kids critical thinking skills!

JANIE: Brent, thank you. Critical thinking is becoming a lost art and skill.

AR: So recognizing that several of you adhere to a specific party fairly loyally, how have you seen the party you most identify with dismiss/omit critical thinking?

BRENT: When you pander to the masses as your audience, it leaves little room for debate because it’s based on group think mentality.

MIKE: Well, politicians used to campaign hard, then work together to govern. Good ideas were advanced, regardless of which side of the aisle they came from. Now we are in constant campaign mode. Can’t support the other’s good idea, because you can’t let them earn political points.

[THUMBS UP FROM BRENT]

JANIE: The parties have lost their way. The great hope of the citizens is newer districts with real representation — not party representation!

MIKE: That’s a good point. There’s so much gerrymandering both ways; you create majority safe districts by creating minority safe districts as well — that for the most part, winning the primary means you win the general. That means both parties select candidates to the extreme — “I will fight for you!” — rather than the sensible person who can appeal to both sides, because you no longer need that person to win the general.

[THUMBS UP FROM RONI]

RUTH: Critical thinking — had to wonder, is there any on either “side”? There seems a lack on both sides — about consequences of policies and orders passed, on one hand — on the other, a lack of judgment and recognition of the power of words and tones, opening up stuff that should’ve been denounced, rather than played into so freely during the campaign. Seems as though the more critical thinkers were ruled out in the primaries.

RONI: (Going back a bit) I think fear also played a major role in this past election. Fear that “they” were/are taking over — applicable to both sides. I also am genuinely changed by the way I have seen this election deeply hurt my Jewish, Muslim, immigrant, and LGTBQ friends. The lack of empathy has disturbed me.

MIKE: Roni, I assure you that I take no joy in anyone’s fear, and I would stand with you fighting discrimination against any of the groups you mentioned.

RONI: That’s why I love you, Mike. I know that you would.

AR: Oh, this is good…
_____

More is forthcoming… how we overcome, how we work through political differences, and too, some specific topics. Again, stay tuned.

Respectfully…
AR

12/11/201612/11/2016

a diverse roundtable – part 1

No matter the potential controversy or intensity, the Intramuralist will not shy away, always advocating for respectful dialogue. No matter the deeply passionate, supposed “sides” — the chickens, eggs, the “tastes great’s” and “less filling’s” — I believe that intentional respect for one another is the first, best step forward.

The challenge is that we each receive ample encouragement to move forward alone — or only with the likeminded. We are encouraged to cut our losses and dismiss the value of “together,” falsely believing that one “side” is all right and the other is all wrong. Such grieves me, as it seems not synonymous with wisdom. Thankfully, however, I am not alone in said assessment.

A week ago I gathered 6 friends in an online discussion. These articulate 6 are all over the political, social, demographic map. At first glance, they look as if they have little in common. If they shared their political affiliations, they would appear to have even less. But what they do share is a commitment to take that first, best step forward. They do not believe in severing relationships. They believe in a respectful dialogue of current events.

Meet Brent, Janie, Mike, Roni, Ronnie, and Ruth. They are good people. While a few in the group knew another previously, they had never all met before.

Over this next week, I’d like to share portions of our diverse, roundtable discussion, starting with their introduction today…

RONI: I’m in! Thank you for the opportunity to connect with others.

MIKE: I’m in. Looking forward to learning from everyone.

RONNIE: I’m in… and since this will be like family, call me “Ronnie.”

JANIE: I am in and much prefer if family/friends call me Janie or JB. If you are “yelling” at me — which is fine — go with “Jane.” Disclosure… a U.S. Govt. educator since the founding of the country!

[AR: No yelling here, Janie. 🙂 ]

BRENT: I’m also in!

RUTH: I’m the late one to the table (no comments about “as usual,” AR! … can I call you “Annie”?? 🙂 ), but I’m in! Hi, new friends! Honored to make your acquaintances!

AR: Thanks for chiming in, all. So tell me: how would you describe this entire election/campaign season?

RONNIE: Short and to the point: insane and frightening.

MIKE: It was the craziest election of my lifetime. The dynamic of a celebrity candidate was bizarre. I did not appreciate how it became more about what was wrong with the other person rather than what they would do. Campaigns have been divisive in the past, but the vitriol has lingered so much longer this time around. A real turnoff.

BRENT: There are two main issues for me. First (coming from a 31 yr. old), there seems to be a large and growing chunk of people, a lot of them young, who are voting based mostly on “hearsay,” rather than research. Along with this, as the mainstream media has been consolidated into fewer hands over the years, the focus seems to have shifted from reporting the news as a watchdog to becoming a powerful propaganda machine.

JANIE: Sorry, but stuck with the educator hat at the moment… it used to be the party wasn’t nearly as important as the person.

RONI: Well, go to one retirement party and whoa, you miss the storm of thought. Loved reading
everyone’s thoughts!
This election was frightening, biased and had extraordinary efficiency gaps.

[“thumbs up” from JANIE]

JANIE: Were we all watching the same exact “show,” hearing the same words? How was there such joy and fear?

RONI: I agree, Janie; it is amazing how the views of this election are so different. The fears and joys are very real.

RUTH: Wow… Where to jump in? I’m “listening” and you all are fascinating! (I can tell already I’m going to learn a lot here.) My take on this election cycle was “shocking, but not surprising.” So much shock and drama: the shock of all the replayed disturbing words, the shock of dots connecting concerning influences, the shock of the seemingly least likely candidate winning the primary and then overtaking the shoe-in. Yet with what is glamorized and dramatized in our pop culture and “news” media, none of this should really come as a surprise. What did surprise me most was that some people really seemed to think one of the two candidates was really going to be so great over the other.

Much to chew on more than usual with this vote… More reason to dig down and consider what am I really voting for here. So it sobered me and drew me to research and pray much, much more than usual over an election.
_____

And there we start, friends… part two is on Tuesday… beginning with the value of critical thinking… and how it appeared absent in this past election cycle. Stay tuned.

Respectfully… always…
AR

12/08/2016

not news

CEDAR PLAINS, PA — “After years of delays and mounting criticism from voters and political pundits, President Barack Obama finally followed through on a campaign promise he made in 2008 to spend one night alone in the abandoned Cedar Plains Family Fun amusement park, sources confirmed Wednesday.
At approximately 6 p.m. last night, members of the press reportedly looked on as Obama—carrying only a flashlight, a water bottle, and a backpack full of snacks—scaled the 9-foot-high chain-link fence and entered the derelict theme park, making good on a vow that had been a central component of his initial run for the White House.

‘Eight years ago, I made an oath that if I were elected president, I would spend dusk till dawn in this old, run-down amusement park, and tonight I am fulfilling my obligation to the American people,’ said Obama, who had been widely accused of favoring other legislative priorities above an overnight stay inside the dilapidated regional attraction that shut its doors in 2003. ‘Between now and sunrise, I will climb to the top of the Ripsaw roller coaster, I will throw a rock through the window of the snow cone stand, and just as I’ve said time and time again, I will wander around in the big concrete track where the Lazy River used to be. And to prove that I do not take your support for granted, I will also walk through the Hall of Mirrors at midnight,’ Obama added.”

Oh, did the Intramuralist chuckle when reading the above on “The Onion” — a news satire organization that’s been entertaining readers for the past 28 years. In other words, it’s not news. It’s fake.

As in any significant aftermath, new terms are coined, and the term “fake news” is now being introduced into our vernacular, after November’s perceived political earthquake. “Fake news” equates to “false and sometimes sensationalist information presented as fact and published and spread on the internet” (see Collins English Dictionary).

The incidents and events did not actually happen in the way in which they are reported. Hence, there exists concern that inaccurate news causes readers (who evolve into voters) to be misinformed and therefore make inaccurate conclusions.

Said concern is valid, in my opinion. But I’d like to go one step further in identifying that which is not news…

Remember that news is newly received, noteworthy information. As best as possible, it is an objective account. Editorials — or opinion pieces and opinionated pundits — are also not news. They are a subjective account; subjective is not synonymous with truth. Swaying an audience — albeit often arguably, unintentionally — is prioritized over offering objectivity.

In other words, if we only pay attention to the Huffington Post, the NY Times, Rachel Maddow, and Steven Colbert, we won’t have an objective (or accurate) perspective; if we only pay attention to the Drudge Report, the NY Post, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh, we also won’t have an objective perspective. Their political opinion skews their presentation of noteworthy information. Hence, this, too, is not news. That means the contributing journalists are also not news reporters. Opinion is altering the news.

Note Wednesday’s announcement, for example, that President-Elect Trump will nominate Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt to head the Environmental Protection Agency…

HuffPo’s headline read as follows: “DIRTY DEAL: Trump Picks Fossil Fuel-Friend to Head EPA”
Drudge lead with: “Trump’s EPA Pick Spooks Liberals and the Environmental Lobby”

The two accounts were covering the same story.

Popular FOX News host Megyn Kelly shared in an NPR interview this week that “too many millions of Americans aren’t listening at all to what the press tells them.” I wonder if “too many millions” aren’t listening because they’ve realized too many journalists are offering something other than news.

It’s tough. It’s tough to ensure that what we’re reading and hearing is both not fake but also not opinion. Both are not news.

Reporting on Obama on that Ripsaw coaster would be easier. More entertaining, too.

Respectfully…
AR

12/01/201612/01/2016

shocking

Not everyone rooted for them. Not everyone was a fan. In fact, I can’t promise you a clear majority was in support. Some actively cheered against them. Others called them a national hero. It can be a bitter, vicious sport at times.

Soccer, that is.

Associação Chapecoense de Futebol, commonly known as Chapecoense, is a Brazilian football club — a soccer team. Soccer is a “big deal” in Brazil.

Chapecoense, itself, is a relatively small club; however, for the past two years, they have played in Brazil’s top division, Série A, one of the strongest leagues in the world. The 20 clubs in Série A are thus also a “big deal.” With any “big deal” and all the inherent loyalties, there will be both passionate opposition and support. There will be persons who actively cheer the team on… and persons who sincerely desire for them to fail.

Late Monday night, Chapecoense was on their way to what was touted as the most significant match in their club’s history. Yet as their chartered jet approached the airport, intending to land in Columbia, it experienced electrical failure and shockingly, fell from the sky. There were 81 people on board: 72 passengers, which included the team and 21 journalists, plus a crew of nine. Only five survived.

The death of almost an entire team is tragic — almost unspeakable.

The crash of the airplane is equally shocking.

It’s awful… awful and heartbreaking.

While there is nothing good in the heartbreak itself, what I do suspect is happening in Brazil, is nothing short of sobering…

Gone is any disrespectful opposition…
Gone are the sincere desires for one to fail…
Gone is an emphasis on the smaller picture.

My sense is that today in South America, Brazilians have been shocked into seeing the bigger picture; they have been shocked into remembering what is most important.

Also, no doubt amid the shock, one of the most meaningful moments from the tragic day of 9/11 was when George W. Bush stood on that rubble with his arm around the fireman from company 164. With a bullhorn in one hand (and no teleprompter in the other), the President yelled:

“I want you all to know that America today is on bended knee, in prayer for the people whose lives were lost here, for the workers who work here, for the families who mourn. This nation stands with the people of New York City and New Jersey and Connecticut, as we mourn the loss of thousands of our citizens.

[Shouts come from some far back in the crowd… something along the lines of “I can’t hear you!” To which Pres. Bush responds…]

I can hear you! [applause]

I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon! [The crowd screams and shouts with massive enthusiasm.] The nation sends its love and compassion to everybody who is here. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you for making the nation proud. And may God bless America.”

The cheers and the unity manifest in that moment were absolutely beautiful. Unity… harmony… it is beautiful. On that day, we were all Americans.

In Brazil, right now, they are all Brazilians.

Does something tragic have to happen in order to shock us into remembering the bigger picture? … to shock us into remembering what we are? … who we are? … and who we are together?
And… that what we are… together… is actually beautiful?

Respectfully…
AR

11/29/2016

the validity of the virtue

What would I most like to see?

What would I most like to see in all people… from all people… given to all people…

In all things… in sports, politics, relationships, families, you-name-it…

Instead of division… instead of the strife… instead of any arrogance, self-righteousness, or denigration… I wish for the following in all:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
And self-control

That’s it. Easy. Well sort of.

Ponder what would be different if we never sacrificed any of the above… if we never deemed one of the above unnecessary… or if we never justified the omission of one.

I wish I would have never said, thought, or justified…

I’m so mad, I don’t need to love my neighbor well…
I’m so ticked off, I don’t need to be patient with another side…
I’m so right, I don’t need to be gentle, not to mention any thought of being kind…

I’m so something… something that dismisses the validity of the virtue.

And then we dismiss the need for goodness, faithfulness, self-control, etc.

Friends, against such things, there is no law; there are no restrictions. All of the above are always good. There is never a time synonymous with wisdom that omits any of the above.

Allow me to be more clear. I’m not always all that good at all of the above. Sometimes I’m not faithful, not gentle, and I have zero desire for kindness or self-control.

But my desire does not change what it good and true and right. What’s right remains right, whether I desire it or not. In fact, if my desire contradicts what is valid and virtuous, what is valid and virtuous is not what’s in need of change.

I offer great grace to those who struggle with one or more of the above. Allow me to humbly include myself in said mix, as I’m not sure any of us ever master the complete list this side of the human experience.

However, an inability to master does not preclude the need to work on it.
An inability to do it well consistently does not negate the need for growth.
And an inability to even desire such virtues never dismisses their validity.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…

That’s it. Easy.

Well sort of.

Respectfully…
AR

11/22/2016

a wild time for listening

Ponder that thought for a moment…

Of all that’s been said and written in the last two weeks… hashed and rehashed… ranted and raved… and the whole range of expressed and unexpressed emotion in our country — surprise, shock, glee, despair, fear, freedom, and so much more…

For all that’s been written, all that’s been said, this is a wild time for listening.

Few disciplines have greater value. Few behaviors teach us more. I speak not of just being silent, contemplating a reply — but rather being still… being intent on interacting, hearing, considering, and genuinely weighing the words and heart of another… being teachable… being willing and humble enough to recognize where we are off and where we could grow. Listening is an unquestionable virtue.

As author and activist Bryant H. McGill said, “One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”

Exactly. Listening and respect always go together.

And yet over the past two weeks, people have justified omitting both.

People have justified concluding that listening and respect are no longer necessary if we disagree.

“… My passions are strong. My perspective is valid.”

I get it. And I applaud it. Each perspective is valid. And the diversity of our collective perspectives spurs us on as individuals and as a nation. But a valid perspective is lessened when listening is eliminated in the process.

The Intramuralist will never applaud dismissing the words and heart of a person simply because another comes from a varied theological, social, or ethnic background. The moment we justify such is the moment we stunt our very own growth… and the moment we have become the intolerant.

Tolerance does not equate to accepting all things as equally good, true, and right. But tolerance does mean being willing to co-exist with those who think differently than “me.” It means sincerely being willing to interact with persons of varied theological, social, and ethnic backgrounds. If I am only willing to respectfully dialogue with persons who think like me — regardless of what demographic categories another falls into — than I am by no means tolerant. Tolerance — and listening — mean that neither what a person looks like or how they think is a barrier to respectful dialogue.

And yet each of us, all around us at this time, have people tugging on our sleeves and ears, suggesting (not always so subtly) that another person is not worth it.

That is disturbing.

When we advocate for something less than listening, we dismiss the worth of another person. When we dismiss the worth of other persons in God’s creation, we get puffed up. And when we get puffed up, we are the ones who fail to learn and grow.

It’s been a wild time for listening these last two weeks. In too many places, it doesn’t exist.

May we always advocate for what’s better and more.

Respectfully…
AR

11/20/2016

the bubble of lalaland

Recently I experienced a tough conflict with a few friends. “Tough” means the conflict was deep, the passions were strong, and the people are important to me; we didn’t all feel the same way, and navigating through the conflict is difficult. Shortly after the conflict commenced, I got on a plane and flew to LaLaLand… ok, Orlando… Disney… No offense to all my Florida friends… it was a wonderful weekend away.

It was wonderful for many reasons — foremost being the ability to escape the prevailing, oh-so-beautiful “overcastness” of a November in the Midwest — where the first, coldest breezes signaling autumn’s end do far more than send a chill up one’s spine. I was able to exchange such loveliness for warm temps, sunshine, and a pretty spiffy, spanking new convertible.

It was a leisure trip — minimal work — a few professional meetings, but mostly just relaxing and basking in the sunshine.

Yet another reason for the trip being wonderful was that it provided for me a bit of a bubble… a cleared out, insulating space where I didn’t have to deal with anything but the warm temps, sunshine, and spiffy convertible.

I didn’t have to deal with the conflict.

In fact, not only did I not have to deal with it, but the beauty of the bubble is that it allowed me to escape reality for a while. I could go and frolic and bask in the Sunshine State’s sunshine… and thus escape and ignore what remained back underneath the overcast.

The bubble effectively insulated me from reality.

But a funny thing happens when you fly to the land of Minnie and Mickey for a weekend. You have to fly back.

Flying back means wrestling with reality.

The reality is that the conflict does exist and because the people are important to me, I’m going to have to work it out. I’m going to have to deal with some messy stuff. I’m going to have to humble myself long enough to admit my own wrongful thinking, and navigate through some challenging perspectives. I’m going to have to be still. I’m going to have to listen and learn from more than the likeminded. I’m going to have to respectfully articulate my opinion. I’m going to have to quit convincing myself that I have the sole valid take on the issue. And I’m going to have wrestle with the legitimacy of a side other than mine, even when that’s incredibly difficult for me to see.

Let’s be clear; it’s not that I need to simply lay down, submit, and surrender my opinion; it’s not that I have to dismiss the validity of my experience. No, my opinion is valid. Each of our opinions are valid. It’s more that we must each listen to each other. I must listen. They must listen. I must refrain from judgment. They must refrain from judgment.

Why? Because listening to others and refraining from judgment are keys to wisdom.

I will be very honest. I don’t always have a desire to listen. Sometimes it’s easier for me to just hang out in my bubble, insulated by the exterior, and not navigate through any tough conflicts. Sometimes it’s easier to go to Disneyland.

But I believe in loving all people well. I believe in respect for all people — not just the ones who see the world as I do. I believe in seeing life through the eyes of people who are different than me… even when it’s hard. They sharpen me. They help me grow.

Please, though… don’t think more highly of me than you ought. I make more than my fair share of mistakes and obvious errors in judgment. This isn’t easy. I just want what’s better, wiser, and more.

Also… it’s really hard to quit thinking about that convertible.

Respectfully… always…
AR

11/16/201611/17/2016

the election and the unthinkable

In case it isn’t clear, the Intramuralist is not a conflict avoider. It’s not that I love it, desire it, nor welcome conflict with open arms. It simply doesn’t scare me away. And I have realized that navigating through conflict wisely is undoubtedly one of the most effective means of growth.

Let me be clear: I am not speaking of growth for others; I am speaking of growth for me.

When not recognizing the growth opportunity, conflict has the potential to bring out the worst in us. In the last week, we have felt and witnessed “the worst”… name calling, gloating, violence, judgment, and disrespect… on all sides.

Friends, you can’t love your neighbor well if you only love half your neighbors.

Last week we had an election. It was tough; it still is. Many are struggling with the vote, even though no candidate tallied a majority; no one received 50%. That means whomever each of us voted for, we are each in the minority. But being in the minority is hard; it’s hard to process all that happened. There is grief. There is fear. There is celebration by some. But there is still grief and fear. We must be cognizant of all.

Allow me, if you will, to humbly share the events of my day last week… Tuesday, November 8th, Election Day…

As typical, I chose not to vote via absentee ballot. I enjoy physically going to the polls, catching up with my neighbors, interacting with those in my community. First, I ran into some old friends from baseball. Our sons played together when they were six (… that was 13 years ago!). I then saw another show choir mom, a man I coached with, a teacher friend, a couple couples from church, and another close family set of friends.

Then I saw Richard. Oh, wait… Three years ago, when I actually ran for a local precinct position — and lost, by the way — Richard was my opponent. We hugged, gleefully caught up, exchanged a few ideas, and wished each other well. I love Election Day.

You’ll remember, however, that going into last Tuesday, I had serious reservations about both primary party candidates. With no intended disrespect, I saw neither as all good or all evil. I saw neither as the Messiah nor as God’s gift for us all to somehow put our hope in. I saw each as a significantly, ethically flawed candidate, whose flaws were minimized by sincere supporters and carefully crafted PR campaigns.

I think perhaps what concerned me most leading up to that day, is that I also witnessed people screaming at only the flaws in the other — forgetting that both — no, strike that — forgetting that each of us, have ample dents in our armor… each of us have screwy sides… each of us are sinners with the opportunity to be saved by grace. I was grieved by the masses who only acknowledged flaws in persons other than self or in the likeminded. I foresaw conflict only increasing.

Friends, the way to navigate through conflict wisely, is to at some point pause long enough to quit pointing the finger at everyone else. It’s ok to observe. It’s ok to be hurt, frustrated, even angry. I believe it’s totally all right to utter “what in the *$&%^# [bleep] are they thinking?!” But at some point, in order to navigate through things wisely, we must stop and ask, “What here, do I need to learn?”

Exchanging the exclamation of “you need to learn” for the humble question of “what do I need to learn” is one of the most effective means of growth.

Back, no less, to Election Day, as I then did the unthinkable…

Even though the Intramuralist pays more than ample attention to current events in hopes of always encouraging respectful dialogue, I went to bed early Tuesday night. That’s right; I paid no attention. I left my laptop off and never turned on the TV. I watched zero tweets and results as they were coming in. I said my prayers — thanking the good Lord for this gift of life, praying for mercy and grace for all of us — and then slept very well.

My concern was copious both after and before the outcome, knowing that as a nation, we do not deal with conflict well. We fail to grow because we take turns justifying the name calling, gloating, violence, judgment, and disrespect. We get sucked into those PR campaigns. We ignore the flaws in one and promote the flaws in another. We have biased news sources. We are insulated by the likeminded. We don’t embrace true accountability. We get puffed up. We only see one side of an argument. We stop talking to the ideologically diverse. We unfriend. We judge. We limit grace. We then put hope into something other than the divine. All sides. We all do it.

I get it… it’s easier. Humbly asking what we must individually learn is harder indeed…

It is also the key to loving our neighbor well.

Respectfully… always…
AR