{"id":9540,"date":"2019-03-17T01:05:27","date_gmt":"2019-03-17T05:05:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=9540"},"modified":"2019-03-17T01:05:35","modified_gmt":"2019-03-17T05:05:35","slug":"the-current-drama-triangle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=9540","title":{"rendered":"the current, drama triangle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cToo much drama!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And as I once more reiterate the familiar refrain in our family to my budding young son, he knows exactly what I mean. There is too much drama. Too many theatrics. Too many times a circumstance becomes a spectacle. And too many willing players on the scene. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Allow me to briefly introduce the \u201cdrama triangle.\u201d The roles of the 3 players are clear\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

_____<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The victim\u2026<\/strong> the one to whom something has happened to \u2014 maybe bad \u2014 but maybe not\u2026 yet when bad things happen, we far prefer to see ourselves as the innocent one\u2026 we struggle with how we may have contributed\u2026  <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The rescuer\u2026<\/strong> the classic enabler\u2026 the hero, if you will\u2026 they feel guilty if they don\u2019t<\/em> help\u2026 the challenge with the rescuer is that their involvement keeps the victim dependent and gives the victim continued permission to fail \u2014 sometimes so much \u2014 often<\/em> so much \u2014 that the victim never has to evaluate how they have contributed to the conflict\u2026  <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the villain\u2026<\/strong> the perceived bad guy\u2026 they can be mean-spirited\u2026 insistent\u2026 maybe even evil.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

_____<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we see ourselves as the victims or heroes\/rescuers (because none of us ever see ourselves as the bad guy),<\/em> we actually create<\/em> villains; we manufacture the miscreants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been wrestling with this for a while \u2014 wrestling with the realities and fallacies of victimhood \u2014 as not everyone who claims<\/em><\/strong> to be a victim actuallyis<\/em><\/strong> a victim. Something is clouding the picture. So allow me to respectfully ponder further\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026is there a relationship between being a victim and identity politics?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I pause, struck by the preposterous, real life example of actor Jussie Smollett, who appeared in court again last week, as one alleged to have intentionally utilized identity politics to concoct a well-defined victim status.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why actually invent your very own victim status?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember that the rescuer comes to the immediate aid of the victim; the rescuer must<\/em> help. The extent of the facts matters less than the potential depth of offense; the whole truth matters less. The rescuer heroically sweeps into the situation, saying, \u201cVictim, let me help you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Together then, the victim and the rescuer create the villain.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Look again at Smollett \u2014 a victim in search of a rescuer. Smollett attempted to create a Trump-loving, gay-hating, possibly white villain. Said author Eboo Patel in his diversity blog: \u201cHe [Smollett] knew that there would be enough prominent people out there in politics, pop culture, activism, thought leadership, the media and liberal twitter to create a blizzard of support that might just snow over the facts of the case.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those prominent people played the role of rescuer. They snowed over the facts. There was zero accountability. When the rescuer and victim align, they forget the need for accountability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accountability means a person, institution, etc. must<\/strong> justify their actions or decisions; the facts must back up the feelings. But what\u2019s happening in our current, reactive culture is that the rescuer runs in, aligns with the perceived victim, and creates the villain before all the facts are analyzed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what\u2019s happening in our politics\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what\u2019s happening in our media\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what\u2019s happening in us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They\/we are creating some pretty big villains. As comedic genius Billy Crystal once said, \u201cThe size of the villain determines the size of the hero. Without Goliath, David is just some punk throwing rocks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I ask more questions than provide answers this day\u2026 what big villains are we creating? \u2026 where are we forgoing the prudent need for accountability? Where have we allowed the agreement of the victim and rescuer to serve in place <\/em>of accountability? What role has identity politics played? And where have prominent people in the media played an unhealthy role?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

More and more, people are tuning out politics and turning off the media.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cToo much drama,\u201d <\/em>they say\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cToo much drama!\u201d And as I once more reiterate the familiar refrain in our family to my budding young son, he knows exactly what I mean. There is too much drama. Too many theatrics. Too many times a circumstance becomes a spectacle. And too many willing players on the scene.  Allow me to briefly introduce … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “the current, drama triangle”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-event"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9540","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9540"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9540\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9541,"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9540\/revisions\/9541"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9540"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9540"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9540"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}