Dear Graduate,
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
Now that you are formally entering adulthood, allow us to address a few more brief truths as you take these next few, albeit humongous steps…
First, there is that time for everything — every activity under heaven, every season under the sun. The reality is you will not enjoy nor desire each of these times. But one of the quiet truths in life is that how you respond to circumstance is typically more important than the circumstance itself. Such is a key to wisdom. Seek after wisdom. Always.
Remember that you have a choice in how you respond; too many forget that. Instead of intentionally seeking wisdom, they become self-focused or demanding. Resist that. Learn the difference between enjoy and embrace. Not every season is meant to be enjoyed, but every season can be embraced. When the time comes to tear down or turn away, embrace it. When the time comes to grieve, grieve. When the time comes to dance, dance — maybe even dance a lot. But in every season, remember that learning from the experience is far more important than becoming self-focused and demanding. The wise person learns and grows through each season, even the hard ones.
Second — and don’t let me shock you — but contrary to perhaps your long-held belief (or some fictional, parenting mantra) — you cannot be whatever you want to be. I’m sorry; remember… we are wrestling with reality. Similar to the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and jolly old St. Nick, there are a few things we’ve told you for some reason, that aren’t actually true.
It is true that you cannot be whatever or whoever you want to be. Also true is that you are not entitled to any of those desired positions. However, you can be something better. You can be all that God created you to be. Embrace your gifts. Utilize the individual, unique wiring within you — the wiring that makes you distinctly and beautifully, uniquely you! Resist comparison. Don’t fall prey to society’s hollow teaching that another person’s wiring or set up is somehow better or worse than your own. Simply embrace your strengths and grow through your weaknesses. Quit attempting to cover them up. Seek God first; seek his intention for your life. Then be who he created you to be.
And third, our brief rapid-fire of encouragement…
Love deeply. Offer grace generously. Never view grace and truth as opposites, as each can and should be applied in full measure. Wash your sheets — at least before you have company. Don’t be selfish. Be slow to anger. Be fast to forgive. Be humble. Forgive again. And again and again. Recognize that sometimes intelligence gets in the way. Intelligence and wisdom are not the same thing. Wisdom is better. Don’t be bitter; you will be the only one harmed in the long run. Eat healthy. Know when to not. Find the benefit in both fasting and feasting. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, as well. Separate the reds from the whites. Be charitable. Be noble. Save some; spend some; give some away. Don’t be afraid of sorrow. Recognize that you can feel sorrow and joy both at the exact same time. Turn off the XBOX. Watch out for the pitfalls of social media. Value other people. Be sharpened by their differences. Chew with your mouth closed. Don’t ever think of equality with God as something to be grasped. Listen to the elderly; invest in the young. Bow and curtsy when appropriate. Open the door. Show respect — in what you say and how you think. Be curious; not condemning. You can’t be both at the same time. Remember that respect does not mean accepting all as equally good and true. Know when to be loud — when to be silent. Look another in the eye. Put the phone down. Use your napkin. Be discerning. Be aware that just because something feels good, it doesn’t mean it’s wise. Be prayerful. Figure the faith thing out; know that another can’t do it for you. And embrace each and every season shared above… the time to laugh… the time to cry… the time to grieve… and yes, that time to dance.
There is a time for everything. God has made everything beautiful for its own time.
Congrats, grads…
AR