{"id":10404,"date":"2020-02-19T06:10:52","date_gmt":"2020-02-19T11:10:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=10404"},"modified":"2020-02-19T06:10:58","modified_gmt":"2020-02-19T11:10:58","slug":"becoming-an-emotion-scientist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=10404","title":{"rendered":"becoming an emotion scientist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Because the Intramuralist actually is a resolution setter \u2014 and because I feel great grace in most of what I don\u2019t accomplish \u2014 I am pleased to share that one of my 2020 personal goals is to step up my reading. Remembering Charles T. Munger\u2019s words in \u201cPoor Charlie’s Almanack,\u201d \u201cIn my whole life, I have known no wise people (over a broad subject matter area) who didn’t read all the time \u2014 none, zero.\u201d<\/em> And so in my third completed book of the year, I recently finished Marc Brackett\u2019s \u201cPermission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive.\u201d Let\u2019s face it; anything any of us can do to help our society thrive would be a very good thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Brackett is a Yale professor and the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. Consistent with his professional endeavors, \u201cPermission to Feel\u201d encourages the reader to investigate the roots of emotional healthiness through an intentional process of recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotions. He also provides the concise \u201cMood Meter,\u201d giving the reader 100 words to better label (and thus share) what they or another may feel or observe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While I fully admit to (1) being on a quest for continuous growth, (2) that a mere snippet doesn\u2019t do Brackett\u2019s book justice, and (3) that I am well in touch with my inner nerd, one encouragement stood out to me in humble attempts to help society thrive. From Chapter 3, entitled, \u201cHow to Become an Emotion Scientist\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow are you feeling right now? Can you be sure?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That may seem like a ridiculous question \u2014 of course we all know exactly what we\u2019re feeling. It may be the only thing about which we can be certain.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if it\u2019s all so completely, effortlessly self-evident, why would we need a science of emotion and emotional intelligence? We speak of emotion skills, but doesn\u2019t that mean there is something to be learned \u2014 or not? Indeed it does: it\u2019s a safe bet that no one in the story of the human race has ever known precisely what she or he is feeling, in all its complexity and contradiction and chaos, at all times. Our neurons are firing hundreds of times a second, and lots of what goes on up there is pure, rolling emotion.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scientists refer to intelligences as hot or cold, hot being the emotional one and cold, of course, the rational one.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But they don\u2019t take turns operating. If I\u2019m computing what I owe in taxes, I\u2019m using cold intelligence, though my reasoning powers will absolutely be affected if five minutes ago I noticed a weird lump on my dog\u2019s neck or I had an argument with my next-door neighbor. We have one brain made up of several regions, each with its own functions, and sometimes they pull us in different directions.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Given all that, how could anyone <\/em>but<\/em><\/strong> a scientist make sense of it? That\u2019s why we all must strive to become emotion scientists.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You could be brilliant, with an IQ that Einstein would envy, but if you\u2019re unable to recognize your emotions and see how they\u2019re affecting your behavior, all that cognitive firepower won\u2019t do you as much good as you might imagine\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only by becoming emotion scientists will we learn the skills to use our emotions wisely. Not suppress them or ignore them \u2014 in fact, just the opposite. We\u2019ll no longer be controlled by feelings we may not even perceive. We\u2019ll also be able to help the people we interact with \u2014 loved ones, colleagues \u2014 manage theirs\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

An emotion scientist has the ability to pause even at the most stressful moments and ask: What am I reacting to?\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To some observers, emotional intelligence or emotion skills signify something fuzzy or touchy-feely, like a retreat from reality. This is especially so in the business world. In fact, just the opposite is true. These are mental skills like any others \u2014 they enable us to think smarter, more creatively, and to get better results from ourselves and the people around us. There\u2019s nothing squishy about that. Emotional intelligence doesn\u2019t allow feelings to get in the way \u2014 it does just the opposite. It restores balance to our thought processes; it prevents emotions from having undue influence over our actions; and it helps us to realize that we might be feeling a certain way for a reason\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the road to becoming emotion scientists, we need to avoid the temptation to act as emotion judges. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In both cases, we\u2019re attempting to recognize emotions and their source and then to foresee how they might be influencing our thoughts and actions. But an emotion scientist seeks to understand without making value judgments or rendering opinions about whether feelings are justified or not, beneficial or not, or reflecting an objective reality. An emotion scientist comes equipped only with questions and a desire to listen and learn\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still learning, friends\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Still asking questions, too\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And refraining from judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Join me. Let\u2019s do what we can to help society thrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AR
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Because the Intramuralist actually is a resolution setter \u2014 and because I feel great grace in most of what I don\u2019t accomplish \u2014 I am pleased to share that one of my 2020 personal goals is to step up my reading. Remembering Charles T. Munger\u2019s words in \u201cPoor Charlie’s Almanack,\u201d \u201cIn my whole life, I … <\/p>\n

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