As the story is told there were many splendid trees in the garden, and we were free to eat of all except one. As a species we have never been good with limitations. Why did Wisdom say not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil? What happens when we begin to sort people, places, and things into the boxes of good and evil? We set ourselves up as the adjudicators of right and wrong, good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember when we decided we wanted to start our journey into parenthood. When I shared the decision with my mother, her immediate response was that I would have to stop working and stay at home. My response was given that two paychecks were becoming necessary to thrive in this world, quitting wasn\u2019t an option and being a bread winner in addition to a parent was my only option. Once the baby arrived, my priorities changed. I couldn\u2019t imagine going back to my job until I had secured someone whom I trusted to watch my daughter. I stayed home the school year my daughter was born, found a sitter and returned to work. But I felt torn in two. I cared about being a teacher, but I never felt happy dropping my daughter off while I went to work. When I found out I was expecting our second child, I decided to step off the cliff of uncertain financial stability to become a stay-at-home mom. Who was right? My mom? Me? What if both or neither of us was right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why do we feel the need to be right? The need to judge? The need to be the arbiter of truth? The judge of just and unjust? How many times a day do we form an opinion? And why do we so desperately cling to our opinions? Why do we state our choices as fact rather than preference? Why do we show no mercy when people make mistakes? Why do we not allow others to change their minds or allow them to change their opinions? Why do we insist that people be normal, that they adapt to us, that they change who they are so that we may remain comfortable in our assumptions? Growth depends on our willingness to be teachable. When we define others according to our judgment, we close ourselves off to all other possibilities. We seal the coffin so to speak on others and on ourselves. When we judge others and new ideas, we see the world in binary terms. The problem with black and white thinking is that we leave no room for shades of gray. There is only good (my way) and bad (the highway)\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026 Black\/White\u2026 Young\/Old\u2026 Conservative\/Liberal\u2026 Gay\/Straight\u2026 Breastfeed\/Bottle\u2026 Abled\/Disabled\u2026 Protest\/Silence\u2026 Short\/Long\u2026 Hard worker\/Lazy\u2026 Easy life\/Hard life\u2026 College\/Trade School\u2026 Mentally well\/Mentally ill\u2026 Rich\/Poor\u2026 Married\/Unwed\u2026 Choosers\/Beggars\u2026 Native\/Immigrant\u2026 Citizen\/Undocumented\u2026 Technology is a tool\/Technology is a curse\u2026 Buy\/Adopt\u2026 Educated\/Uneducated\u2026 Prolife\/Prochoice\u2026 No children\/Many children\u2026 Forward thinking\/Backward thinking\u2026 Progressive\/Traditional\u2026 Back the Blue\/Black Lives Matter\u2026 Christian\/Non-Christian\u2026 Tough\/Fragile\u2026 Healthy\/Chronically Ill\u2026 Bless\/Curse\u2026 Go to School\/Home school\u2026 Permissive\/Strict\u2026 On time\/Late\u2026 Too slow\/Too fast\u2026 Insiders\/Outsiders\u2026 Buyers\/Renters\u2026 Believers\/Unbelievers\u2026 Private\/Public\u2026 Skinny\/Fat\u2026 Tall\/Short\u2026 Guilty\/Innocent\u2026 Segregation\/Desegregation\u2026 Regular Ed\/Special Ed\u2026 Millennials\/Boomers\u2026 Masculine\/Feminine\u2026 Threatening\/Non-threatening\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The list goes on forever. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes labeling and sorting is good. We know what happens when you try to wash reds with whites or put easy to shrink fabrics in the dryer. Outside the laundry room, sorting and labeling can get us in trouble. The next time I catch myself sorting and labeling people, I need to pause and reflect why I feel the need to label one side or the other as wrong or right. We make so many mistakes when we label. Part of loving another is allowing them to be different. Different is sometimes exhilarating, and sometimes scary. Let\u2019s put down that fruit we were never meant to eat and allow others to be free to make their own choices. We are free to be you and me. We are not limited to binary decisions. Try both\/and rather than either\/or. Minds like parachutes work better when open. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Last year I wrote about the need to let go of thoughts and patterns of behavior that no longer served me well. We must ask ourselves if labeling and sorting people is serving ourselves and others well. If it\u2019s not, then we may want to consider letting that practice go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n AT<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" As the story is told there were many splendid trees in the garden, and we were free to eat of all except one. As a species we have never been good with limitations. Why did Wisdom say not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil? What happens when we begin to … <\/p>\n