Popular author, researcher, encourager (and more) Bren\u00e9 Brown prays this daily:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAt the end of this day and at the end of my life, I hope I have contributed more than I have criticized.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n To make sure we\u2019re all starting today\u2019s conversation on the same page, let\u2019s distinguish, as Brown does, between criticism and dissent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Criticism equates to \u201cthe expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.\u201d Note the emphasis on someone else\u2019s faults or mistakes \u2014 in other words, error that\u2019s<\/em> not mine.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Dissent, on the other hand, reflects \u201cthe expression or holding of opinions at variance with those previously, commonly, or officially held.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dissent is still disagreement, but it\u2019s thoughtful critique.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Therefore, allow me the not so difficult conclusion that if in our heads we\u2019re thinking, \u201cYou\u2019re wrong!\u201d well then, we\u2019re not dissenting; we\u2019re simply being critical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, as emotion has ramped up in this odd season we refer to as \u201cthe year 2020,\u201d we\u2019ve seemed a little quicker with some of our declarations of wrongness on the part of another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, we\u2019ve witnessed many recently who have openly shared\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re not really a patriot if you\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re not really black if you\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re not really Christian if you\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re not really Jewish if you\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And perhaps the retort that has caused me most recent pause is the individual assertion that \u201cI can\u2019t take you seriously if you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n I get it. Emotion ramps up. We get rattled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I don\u2019t get is the entire focus on someone else. There\u2019s a lack of awareness it seems that the declaration of \u201cI can\u2019t take you seriously\u201d says more about my unwillingness to do the hard work of understanding another than it does about my own level of discernment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I thus go back to the wise words of my buddy, Bren\u00e9\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me contribute more than I criticize\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me be a positive influence on this planet\u2026<\/em> I\u2019ll take a short stab\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Start with a deep breath. Invite conversation. Be respectful. Sit with the dissimilar. Listen more than speak. Refrain from insult. Listen more. Be willing to change your opinion. Stop pointing fingers. Quit demonizing the different. If you\u2019re pretty sure what you\u2019re about to say\/post\/write will only poke the bear, so-to-speak, don\u2019t poke; it only makes you look lesser and changes no one\u2019s mind. Ask yourself instead: is what I want to say kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? If it\u2019s necessary, ask why; what\u2019s my motive? Am I again focusing on someone other than me? Grow you. Not someone else. Recognize it\u2019s not your job. Be nicer. Love your enemy. Recognize that the wisest people in the world have somehow learned to love their enemy. Rid yourself of your own arrogance and judgment. Know that you can\u2019t see your own perceived faults and mistakes when you\u2019re more focused on someone other than self. We\u2019ve each got faults and mistakes. No better nor worse than our neighbor.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And like Bren\u00e9 Brown, say your prayers. Pray for the different.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s hard to criticize those you’re praying for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Popular author, researcher, encourager (and more) Bren\u00e9 Brown prays this daily: \u201cAt the end of this day and at the end of my life, I hope I have contributed more than I have criticized.\u201d To make sure we\u2019re all starting today\u2019s conversation on the same page, let\u2019s distinguish, as Brown does, between criticism and dissent. … <\/p>\n
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\nHow can we possibly do that in these crazy, friction-filled times?<\/p>\n\n\n\n