Allow me to begin with a deeply personal, but profoundly relevant account\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
19 years ago I gave birth to one of the most amazing human beings ever. To be clear, every<\/em> human is amazing \u2014 each divinely wired in their own wonderful way. But part of what makes one very talented, young master Joshua amazing is because of what God taught me\u2026 what I learned was nothing short of amazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When giving birth to a child with a disability \u2014 and let me not speak for all parents, but for me \u2014 it was a bit of a reality sucker punch. Maybe some handle it better than I. I never planned to be the parent of a child with special needs, and I certainly didn\u2019t pray for it. Something totally unwanted and unexpected, however, became my instant, jarring reality; there was nothing I could do. The situation was totally out of my control. And let\u2019s face it; most of us don\u2019t do very well when the facade that we could actually somehow be in control is completely burst. What in the world was I to do now?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I needed help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I needed help and encouragement and certainly wise counsel. Since only, approximately 1 in every 700 babies in the U.S is born with Down syndrome \u2014 which equates to about 6,000 infants annually \u2014 suffice it to say that not many in my inner circle shared my specific circumstance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Undoubtedly, there is something beautifully relational embedded within shared circumstance\u2026 for example\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 I can always immediately connect with boy moms\u2026 there exist jokes, dirty socks, and creative other foul-smelling aromas in our houses where <\/em>minimal context is necessary<\/em><\/strong> in order for the other to understand\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 It\u2019s always a joy to meet up with another Purdue grad\u2026 we are annually eager for March Madness, can relate to any dreary cold thanks to those windy winter days in West Lafayette, and we ached, too, when Drew Brees broke multiple ribs last weekend\u2026 we <\/em>feel<\/em><\/strong> so much of the same\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2026 And I currently have a whole new heart for those who have moved away from home\u2026 there\u2019s this \u201cthing\u201d we just know about each other, how you love to go back because you love the people you left, but sometimes it\u2019s hard because you know you will disappoint them with less time available\u2026 fellow movers immediately <\/em>get me<\/em><\/strong>\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n No doubt shared circumstance is a gift. It provides context, similar emotion, and often, perceived close-to-immediate understanding. We thus don\u2019t have to take the time to share any context, tap into varied emotion, or work to \u201cget\u201d another. Makes total sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n However, I think the challenge in current day culture and why I believe this account to be profoundly relevant, is because we have been lured into believing not just that it takes more time if another does not share our specific circumstances. Rather, we have fallen prey to the fallacy that unless we share those circumstances, the other person is incapable<\/em> of understanding us. That\u2019s the fragility of finding our worth and forming our life philosophies based on the social groups we belong to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I do not dismiss that it can be hard. I also grant great grace and space, recognizing the valid, deep sensitivity necessary in various circumstances\u2026 what it\u2019s like to be a single parent\u2026 what it\u2019s like to lose a child\u2026 what\u2019s it like to have been oppressed because of the color of my skin\u2026 or what it\u2019s like to not know where my next meal is coming from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But I refuse to believe that we are incapable of understanding. I refuse to dismiss that deep empathy can be built\u2026 if we are humble enough\u2026 patient enough\u2026 to invest that time and attention\u2026 to sincerely engage with those who are different\u2026 to quit drawing lines in the sand because the work is more and the effort is harder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friends, my sincere belief is we are too dismissive of too many people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With the estimate that only approximately 220,000 living persons in this country have Down syndrome \u2014 meaning an infinitesimal 0.06% of the country \u2014 if young master Josh grows up believing only persons who share his specific circumstance are capable of relating to him, I\u2019m not sure we will have raised a semi-healthy, functioning adult. He will need wisdom. He will need community. He will need such from far more than me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n AR Allow me to begin with a deeply personal, but profoundly relevant account\u2026 19 years ago I gave birth to one of the most amazing human beings ever. To be clear, every human is amazing \u2014 each divinely wired in their own wonderful way. But part of what makes one very talented, young master Joshua amazing … <\/p>\n
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\nI needed people to walk alongside me, encourage God\u2019s best, help my family somehow navigate through this newly unplanned life in a positive way. I still somehow had to raise this kid \u2014 not to mention the two who went before him. I needed to be at least a semi-healthy, functioning adult. Hence, I needed wisdom. I needed community. I needed far more than me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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