{"id":11480,"date":"2021-03-14T01:06:54","date_gmt":"2021-03-14T06:06:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=11480"},"modified":"2021-03-14T01:07:00","modified_gmt":"2021-03-14T06:07:00","slug":"relational-currency","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=11480","title":{"rendered":"relational currency"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

He isn\u2019t quite like his two brothers \u2014 one older, one younger. No doubt the least gregarious sibling. The other two? They are typically touted as the life of the party. But no, not this one. He\u2019s more likely to be lost in the shuffle, so-to-speak.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when his vivacious grandmother was paired with him to dance at the wedding reception three years ago, he meekly but quietly-gleefully joined in the reverie. She would say later, \u201cI thought I was investing in one evening; it turned out to be way more than that.\u201d They formed a notable, special bond.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

With three more years of interaction and investment, this budding teen has found great confidence in his relationship with his beloved Mema. He knows she values him. And because of that, they can talk about most anything. Even via varied locations, lifestyles, and perspective, their relationship is solid, excellent, and good.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When hearing recently the keen example of this sweet relationship, I couldn\u2019t help but think of Chapter 15 from Chad Veach\u2019s \u201cHelp! I Work with People.\u201d To be clear, since each of us interacts with some kind<\/em> of people, I\u2019ve found this an inherently valuable work to read.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Chapter 15 is entitled \u201cThe Most Important Currency,\u201d and it wittingly unpacks how an unseen currency can have the greatest value \u2014 specifically, the currency of relationship. Writes Veach: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe know intuitively that relationships matter\u2026 but how do we build them? How do we add value and build trust? How do we invest in people in such a way that our connection with them grows? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationships don\u2019t just happen. They take intentionality, work, and time. If we understand how to build relationships properly, they will withstand the ups and downs of life and the inevitable bumps in the road.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One way to think about building relationships is in terms of <\/em>deposits<\/em><\/strong> and <\/em>withdrawals.<\/em><\/strong> Not in the sense of reducing friendship and affection to a mere transaction, of course, but in the sense of investment. The more we put into a relationship, the more it will thrive, grow, and generate a return. But if all we do is take or withdraw from a relationship, the balance will quickly drop to zero and it will cease to be an asset we can count on\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Relationships matter\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They take intentionality, work, and time\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They can withstand the ups and downs\u2026 the bumps, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They can withstand those bumps \u2014 those withdrawals, if you will \u2014 as long, too, as there are investments\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026 a kind word\u2026 an affirmation\u2026 a request to learn more\u2026 maybe even, a request to dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As increasingly more refuse to engage in respectful dialogue \u2014 thinking \u201cmy way is right\u201d and \u201cyour way isn\u2019t worth even hearing\u201d \u2014 as then, we watch society struggle to do relationship well, my sense is we\u2019ve forgotten the beauty of deposits. We\u2019ve spent so much time investing in self and in who\/what we think we most identify with, we\u2019ve lost the art of focusing on what\u2019s meaningful to others outside of that perceived bubble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are we proactively depositing in the account of another? Are we affirming them? Are we hitting \u201clike\u201d more than sharing why once more we\u2019ll have to agree to disagree? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are we expressing gratitude? Are we listening attentively? Are we cheering another on \u2014 even in difference?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Veach\u2019s work challenges me, friends. Why? Because it reminds me of the tremendous value in taking the focus off of self, whether I think like the other person or not.
\n
\nThat vivacious grandmother would have loved to hit the dance floor with other adults that night. She can turn up the enthusiasm and easily, too, be crowned that oh-so-contagious, life of the party. But she chose to invest in one who needed it more. And that mattered. It has paid deep dividends for that young man still today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s amazing, therefore, what a difference it makes \u2014 in public, in social media, and yes, even on the dance floor \u2014 when we intentionally and continually make deposits into other people\u2026 when we think more of them than of self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He isn\u2019t quite like his two brothers \u2014 one older, one younger. No doubt the least gregarious sibling. The other two? They are typically touted as the life of the party. But no, not this one. He\u2019s more likely to be lost in the shuffle, so-to-speak. So when his vivacious grandmother was paired with him … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “relational currency”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-event"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11480"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11480\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11481,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11480\/revisions\/11481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}