Last week when one New Jersey school board voted unanimously to remove the names of all holidays from the calendar, the reasoning one board member shared was that \u201cif we don\u2019t have anything on the calendar, we don\u2019t have to have anyone [with] hurt feelings\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hence, in what\u2019s considered \u201ceducation,\u201d instead of educating about the beauty of difference, the wisdom in respecting difference, and the even sweeter joy of celebrating difference, this board chose to ignore individual differences in case it\u2019s hurtful to another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wouldn\u2019t it be wiser instead of watering down reality, to teach respect of what\u2019s different? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Years ago when my kids were younger and I was frantically attempting to get my hands on anything that would help a semi-clueless madre get a better grasp on this parenting gig, I picked Dr. Tim Kimmel\u2019s Raising Kids for True Greatness.<\/em> It was a life saver. <\/p>\n\n\n\n “What is your goal when it comes to raising your children?\u201d<\/em> Kimmel asks at the onset. Now let me not fuel any mindset that parents are so in control of their kids; in fact, the older I get, the more manifest the \u201cby the grace of God I go\u201d mantra makes emphatic sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But what I love about Kimmel\u2019s insight is that he encourages the reader not to look at another\u2019s kid as in competition with their own; the success, difference, reality of another takes nothing away from me. In other words, instead of being upset that your<\/em> kid gets the lead in the school play \u2014 or your<\/em> child is chosen for the select soccer team \u2014 or your<\/em> teen gets the solo in the grand finale \u2014 and<\/em> \u2014 mine does not,<\/em> as a parent I still choose to celebrate your kid enthusiastically. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Our differences \u2014 our realities in how life is playing out \u2014 are not something that need be a lingering source of hurt. If they are, I would hope that the mentors and authentic education encouragers in my life would gently but firmly help me learn how to deal with my perspective. I would hope they would teach me how not to find fault in another nor water down reality, but to instead, sincerely, selflessly celebrate both them and me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I have a son many find different. In fact, I have three. Each has distinct gifts, talents, strengths and weaknesses\u2026 each growing into the man they\u2019re called to be. My youngest, as has been documented here, has Down syndrome. He proudly, sweetly calls it his \u201cability.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And while your kid and my kid unquestionably have different skills and \u201cabilities,\u201d our differences don\u2019t lessen another\u2019s reality. My reality is not better nor worse than another. This is the way God has allowed my life to play out, and while it isn\u2019t always easy, I give great thanks. That is my reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s part of why the Intramuralist has respectfully chuckled with the recent use in some select circles of the term \u201cbirthing people\u201d to describe mothers. No disrespect, but I can factually tell you as a mom \u2014 even a semi-clueless one at that for a while \u2014 I did a whole heck of a lot more than physically give birth. While I understand the supposed political-correctness of the term, let me also suggest that it\u2019s a clear watering down of reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What about today? <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s Fathers Day. I am so proud of my Dad and of the other excellent fathers in my family and the precious, admirable few who have also served in a comparable role in my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But as John Kass wrote in The Chicago Tribune<\/em> this week, \u201cIf moms are \u2018birthing persons,\u2019 then what are dads on Father’s Day?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kass gets a bit tongue-in-cheek with his continued ramblings\u2026 \u201cAmericans are being bombarded with ads for gifts for that special day for fathers. Should I say \u2018sperm contributors\u2019\u2026?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Friends, it\u2019s ok to call a person who\/what they are. It\u2019s ok for us to have differences. If there is disappointment in acceptance of those differences, no doubt that\u2019s wise to wrestle with. But instead of watering reality down, let\u2019s educate about the beauty of difference, the wisdom in respecting difference, and the even sweeter joy of celebrating difference in another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n P.S. Happy Father\u2019s Day, dads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Last week when one New Jersey school board voted unanimously to remove the names of all holidays from the calendar, the reasoning one board member shared was that \u201cif we don\u2019t have anything on the calendar, we don\u2019t have to have anyone [with] hurt feelings\u2026\u201d Hence, in what\u2019s considered \u201ceducation,\u201d instead of educating about the … <\/p>\n