{"id":11961,"date":"2021-08-25T07:21:26","date_gmt":"2021-08-25T11:21:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=11961"},"modified":"2021-08-25T07:21:29","modified_gmt":"2021-08-25T11:21:29","slug":"ignorance-or-dishonesty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=11961","title":{"rendered":"ignorance or dishonesty?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

One of the three zillion things drilled into me as a kid was to let your \u2018Yes\u2019 be \u2018Yes\u2019 and your \u2018No\u2019 be \u2018No.\u2019 In other words, say what you mean and mean what you say. In my spirited adolescence, I far from fathomed that such would be equally challenging for many in adulthood. Why is it so hard to speak accurately?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe there’s an unspoken caveat worth wrestling with\u2026 is inaccuracy due to ignorance or dishonesty? While ignorance and dishonesty may manifest themselves identically, motive separates the two. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be ignorant \u2014 to misspeak, per se \u2014 means to unknowingly say something wrong. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be dishonest \u2014 to mislead \u2014 means to say something wrong intentionally.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is no chip off anyone\u2019s integrity for misspeaking. There is far more than a chip off for misleading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the challenges with many of our leaders \u2014 and this goes back far more than the past seven months \u2014 is that their \u201cyes\u201d hasn\u2019t always meant \u201cyes\u201d and their \u201cno\u201d not \u201cno.\u201d It\u2019s then up to us to discern intention. Are they misspeaking or misleading?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Better yet, what determines our assessment? Is misspeaking or misleading based on\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026 whether we <\/em>like<\/em><\/strong> them or not? \u2026 because <\/em>liking<\/em><\/strong> someone is an accurate gauge of discernment\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026 whether we <\/em>voted<\/em><\/strong> for them or not? \u2026 because if we voted for a person, surely we wouldn\u2019t have supported anyone other than a beacon of integrity\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll be honest \u2014 and I indeed mean no disrespect \u2014 I\u2019m simply respectfully sharing a sincere opinion. I have struggled with the communication especially of the two most recent Presidents. I was not a fan of Pres. Trump\u2019s often arrogant, over-use of Twitter <\/em>nor of Pres. Biden\u2019s often press-avoidant, over-reliance of the teleprompter. There have been far too many inaccuracies by both. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes I feel like our leaders are telling us what they think we want to hear \u2014 or what they think sounds best \u2014 or they\u2019re trying to talk us into something \u2014 like we can\u2019t handle the truth. The messaging, for example, on the current turmoil in Afghanistan has been grossly inconsistent and wrong. And that\u2019s the reporting of news sources all across the biased political spectrum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we ask once more: is inaccuracy due to ignorance or dishonesty?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The reality is we can\u2019t always tell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vanessa Van Edwards, author of the best-selling book Captivate,<\/em> suggests that while 82% of lies go undetected, 54% actually can be spotted if we know what to look for. Since in her extended research, she shares that \u201conly six out of ten Americans claimed to tell the truth every day,\u201d I\u2019m thinking it might be wise to have a few more tools in our discernment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Van Edwards, these ten signs help discern when people may be lying:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. A change in speech patterns<\/li>
  2. The use of non-congruent gestures (when body movements don\u2019t match a person\u2019s actual words)<\/li>
  3. Not saying enough<\/li>
  4. Saying too much<\/li>
  5. An unusual rise or fall in vocal tone<\/li>
  6. Direction of their eyes<\/li>
  7. Covering their mouth or eyes<\/li>
  8. Excessive fidgeting<\/li>
  9. Finger pointing (literal or figurative)<\/li>
  10. Self-identifying as a \u201cgood liar\u201d<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Looks like there\u2019s lots to discern. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Letting our \u2018Yes\u2019 be \u2018Yes\u2019 and our \u2018No\u2019 be \u2018No\u2019 would be easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Wiser, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    One of the three zillion things drilled into me as a kid was to let your \u2018Yes\u2019 be \u2018Yes\u2019 and your \u2018No\u2019 be \u2018No.\u2019 In other words, say what you mean and mean what you say. In my spirited adolescence, I far from fathomed that such would be equally challenging for many in adulthood. Why … <\/p>\n

    Continue reading “ignorance or dishonesty?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11961","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-event"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11961","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11961"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11961\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11967,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11961\/revisions\/11967"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11961"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11961"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11961"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}