Welcome. Sit down if you aren\u2019t sitting already. Whether reading on your phone, computer, iPad, etc., try to rest a little. Take a deep breath. We\u2019re glad to talk about all issues here \u2014 indeed we will. Respectfully. Always. So if you\u2019re looking for a place to fight or seeking any sense of an echo chamber that only amens what you already believe, with all due respect, this prob isn\u2019t the place for you. Friends, even in the areas I claim to know exceptionally well \u2014 whether it be the poetry of Alfred Tennyson, the history of baseball, or the wisdom embedded in the love chapter of 1st Corinthians \u2014 without a doubt, I still have much to learn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s kind of our country\u2019s quagmire. We\u2019re passionate and diverse. We feel things strongly. So just like that we demonize and damn. It\u2019s easy to do. Especially outside the confines of relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the veiled consequences of the hours we each spend isolated in our screen-lit worlds is that we have come to equate texts with talking, comments with conversation, and social media with an arena rich in transparency and truth. Since talking, conversation, transparency and truth are each keynotes of relationship, we have been lured into believing we are experiencing real relationship. When we aren\u2019t. We think we\u2019ve found \u201cmy people.\u201d When we haven\u2019t. This isn\u2019t relationship; this is something lesser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The challenge then is that it\u2019s easy to denigrate outside of relationship. It\u2019s easy to conclude that Nancy Pelosi or Samuel Alito or whoever else is evil or awful or a despicable human being because you have no relationship with them. <\/em>It\u2019s easy to say all <\/em>white people or all<\/em> black people or all<\/em> persons of color, men or women, young, old, gay, straight, etc. because those are demographic groups \u2014 not persons with whom we have authentic, actual relationship.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n How would it change the way you demonize or damn if the person who held a perspective seemingly opposite of you \u2014 but equally, fiercely passionate \u2014 was your daughter? \u2026 your son? \u2026 your sister, brother, mom, dad or BFF? Someone with whom you actually have an authentic relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s acknowledge the obvious, friends; it\u2019s easy to omit understanding, compassion, empathy, mercy and\/or grace when we don\u2019t share the depth of real relationship. It\u2019s easy to fall prey to the idea that there really aren\u2019t any good, wise people on a side opposite of \u201cme.\u201d Hear that; it\u2019s easy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n When the Supreme Court\u2019s ruling was announced, sending regulation of abortion back to the states, I grieved. I didn\u2019t grieve in opposition nor advocacy. I grieved because of our country\u2019s increasing inability to handle disagreement well, especially because we haven\u2019t realized the depth of relationship we have sacrificed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In relationship \u2014 with my daughter, son, sister, brother, mom, dad, BFF, even neighbor or stranger in the room \u2014 here is what would be wise to process together\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n So what now? First, it\u2019s wise to read the ruling; some of the immediate reactions (on all sides) demonstrate a lack of awareness of what the decision actually says. The ruling does not prohibit abortion; it sends any abortion legislation decision to the states. Some will keep as is; some will restrict it more. So honest, reasonable question: is there something wrong if the people in California want the procedure to be totally legal and the people of Kentucky totally don\u2019t? A person could then choose to live where they wish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Next, I believe it to be wise to understand public sentiment. The high court\u2019s ruling overturned Roe v. Wade<\/em> and Planned Parenthood v. Casey.<\/em> The majority of the public supports Roe. But the majority of the public does not<\/em> support Casey. Roe made abortion legal up until the 2nd trimester. Casey made abortion legal up until birth. What do we learn from that? Public opinion \u2014 which isn\u2019t necessarily a proven determiner of prudence \u2014 suggests that the majority of the public wants legal access to abortion but does not want abortion on demand nor so late in the pregnancy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also, what could we learn within the confines of relationship in regard to how we express our oft passionate agreement or disagreement? Is shaming ok? Is it wise? Who looks better afterwards? And what about protesting? Does it need to be peaceful? I\u2019m thinking each of us would be wise to at least privately examine when we make excuses for the wrongdoing and destruction by protestors. Sometimes we\u2019re ok with it; sometimes we\u2019re not. My desire is for us to be both consistent and wise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And lastly, allow me a hard, but sincere, final acknowledgment that I wish we could actually talk about. Many of us have been on all sides of this issue. We\u2019ve been in different places in different seasons of life. So let me be a little more personal\u2026 There are people I love, respect <\/em>and trust deeply<\/em> on all sides of this issue. That includes people who have chosen to abort and chosen not to \u2014 for reasons of heartache, bad timing, bad relationship and more\u2026 One, in fact, made their choice because the baby had Down syndrome. I\u2019ll be honest; that last one was especially hard for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But my reality is that in each of the those relationships \u2014 with each of the choices \u2014 none of the above changed our mutual love, respect and trust. That\u2019s because we experience and are committed to authentic relationship. In relationship, even and especially when we passionately disagree, we don\u2019t demonize or damn; we don\u2019t change our thinking to consider the other now despicable. In fact, if anything, we work harder\u2026 we lean in\u2026 sit down, take a deep breath\u2026 and intentionally ensure we are extra generous in our offering of understanding, compassion, empathy, mercy and grace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s the depth of real relationship. That\u2019s what it takes to work through the hard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Welcome. Sit down if you aren\u2019t sitting already. Whether reading on your phone, computer, iPad, etc., try to rest a little. Take a deep breath. We\u2019re glad to talk about all issues here \u2014 indeed we will. Respectfully. Always. So if you\u2019re looking for a place to fight or seeking any sense of an echo … <\/p>\n