Let me start by acknowledging I\u2019m really not qualified to write this. It\u2019s not because I\u2019m not a boy, as let\u2019s be honest, no one gender, ethnicity, etc. can speak for all others of the same demographic \u2014 a point we oft ignore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I also am not qualified even though I have semi-successfully\/semi-not co-parented three solid young men of said age. My experience does not equate to expertise \u2014 another oft missed reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps what would most make me qualified to write would be if I were some sort of licensed professional counselor. I work with many\u2026 but alas, I am not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hence, I write not from a place of omniscience nor even competency. I\u2019m simply sharing an impassioned perspective\u2026 dare I suggest, one more framework of sharing we oft fail to disclose. We\u2019re passionate. Reasoned. We have solid opinions, perspective, even conviction. However, we do not know all. No matter how impassioned we may be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I keep looking at the gun issue\u2026 the violence issue\u2026 the evil. Actually, I somberly appreciate that there is indeed a collective heartache across the country when it happens. No one wants<\/em> it to happen. We just don\u2019t know how to stop it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I thought it again this most recent weekend, as the incident occurred in my high school stomping grounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I therefore also appreciate the valiant efforts to make the violence stop. While persons disagree on which gun control efforts are effective \u2014 which thoughts and prayers are vital \u2014 the reality is that each wants the awfulness to stop. To be clear, there are spaces and places to have that respectful debate; sometimes that\u2019s been here. But today, this is not one of those places. I want to honestly wrestle with a sobering, different question\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why is it that the profile of the shooter is often a 20-something man? (FYI: According to the FBI\u2019s analysis of active mass shooters in 2021, 98% were male, and 57% were under the age of 35.) <\/em>Few women mess with mass shootings. We also aren\u2019t seeing many men in even some midlife crisis. In the mass shooting \u2014 meaning a minimum of three or four victims of gun violence (not including the shooter) in a public place \u2014 why is it typically a young man?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whether it\u2019s the isolated mass incidents or the weekends of many urban streets, why is the shooter \u2014 the perpetrator of violence \u2014 most frequently in recent years, a 20-something man?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What\u2019s in that young man\u2019s head that makes him think this is ok?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n It makes me ask what we\u2019re teaching the young men in today\u2019s society. What cues from culture are they getting that confuse them so? \u2026 that make them think that such an abhorrent activity could be wanted or wise in absolutely any possible way?<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019ll remember I said I wasn\u2019t really qualified to write this. I\u2019m not sure who exactly is. For if we knew what it was and we knew how to control or to at least limit the manifestation of evil, we would do so. So let us ask a few questions of the person whose brain may still be forming\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n What do they believe about themselves?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do they see themselves more highly than they ought?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n What’s most important to them?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n How do they view other people? Do they respect all others? Believe in serving others?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Why don\u2019t they value all human life?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Have we taught them to hate anyone or any one demographic?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Have we taught them another’s thinking, opposition or even existence matters less?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Are they entitled? Are they lost? Are they too isolated?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Who do they trust?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Where does their value system come from? Have we somehow taught them that whatever they believe is good and right and true?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n What do they think it means to be male?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do they know what it means to be a wise father?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do they have a faith? Do they find identity in being God’s kid or in something lesser?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do they have healthy community? Do they know that accountability, respectful submission and authority are good?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n And where do they turn for help when they are confused inside? Is it even ok to admit they are confused? \u2026 hurting? \u2026 that they don\u2019t have life all figured out? \u2026 that they each indeed do matter? \u2026 always?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Only questions, friends\u2026 no judgment. Just trying to understand. Obviously, our culture is knowingly or unknowingly giving cues to our kids that are somehow confusing. I cannot assume to know what nor why nor how all of the above succinctly and specifically applies. I\u2019m not qualified.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But our lack of qualification shouldn\u2019t deter the asking of the complicated question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Let me start by acknowledging I\u2019m really not qualified to write this. It\u2019s not because I\u2019m not a boy, as let\u2019s be honest, no one gender, ethnicity, etc. can speak for all others of the same demographic \u2014 a point we oft ignore. I also am not qualified even though I have semi-successfully\/semi-not co-parented three … <\/p>\n