{"id":13426,"date":"2023-03-22T08:25:37","date_gmt":"2023-03-22T12:25:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=13426"},"modified":"2023-03-22T08:32:32","modified_gmt":"2023-03-22T12:32:32","slug":"are-you-am-i-healthy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=13426","title":{"rendered":"are you\/am I healthy?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>One of my most rewarding, challenging, humbling, inspiring, all-rolled-into-one responsibilities involves the training and development of a younger, very talented, professional team. We talk a lot about what it means to be emotionally healthy. We talk, too, of what it means to lead in that capacity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It doesn\u2019t take but minimal reflection to discern a lack of emotional health in prominent threads in our culture and in our leaders today. No wonder we witness such dysfunction in our entities and institutions. We can see it; we can <em>feel<\/em> it. In the boasts from the well known\u2026 in the arrogance\u2026 in the disrespect\u2026 in many of the protests&#8230; in the complete lack of humility\u2026 in the pain\u2026 in the shutting down of varied perspective\u2026 in the \u201cmad-as-hell-and-not-going-to-take-it-any-more\u201d approach. Unhealthiness is active and unfortunately well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But hear no judgment \u2014 none whatsoever. Emotional health isn\u2019t a journey we can pursue for others. Suffice it to say, emotional health is <em>a decision we make to work on self.&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hence, I took a few semi-random notes from yesterday\u2019s team training\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The emotionally healthy leader makes a decision to work on self.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>An emotionally <strong><em>unhealthy<\/em><\/strong> leader is someone who operates in a continual emotional and spiritual deficit.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Many are self-conscious but not self-aware.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Many are unaware of their feelings, how the past affects them, and how others receive them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>In unhealthy leaders, we oft see seeds of insecurity and pockets of shame.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Many hide those issues in their emotional baggage.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Emotional baggage is typically the undoing of the unhealthy leader.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The unhealthy spins truth, blames others, and excuses self.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Blame is the quickest way to discharge our pain.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Some in their unhealthiness become spiritually evasive, trying to convince others that they\u2019re open to God and all he has for them, but they\u2019re really using God-talk, so-to-speak, to run from him.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Beware of people who are quick to spiritualize everything.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Many of us really don\u2019t want to do the character work it takes to address why we feel the way we do; instead, we want <strong><em>relief<\/em><\/strong>\u2026 fast, soothing ways to not feel this way anymore.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Unhealthy persons struggle with jealousy, comparison and often envy.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Jealously distorts our vision of who we\u2019re supposed to be fighting both <strong><em>for<\/em><\/strong> and <strong><em>with<\/em><\/strong>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Healthy leaders \u2014 healthy people \u2014 are contagious.&nbsp;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Back to those seeds of insecurity and pockets of shame, we create narratives from the unhealed things in our lives. They are often untrue.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How do we guard against that? We need accountability \u2014 through authentic relationship. Not relationship that will only agree and affirm. Authentic relationship gently but firmly identifies those pockets and seeds. Authentic relationship encourages growth and change.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Thinking of the iceberg metaphor; only 10% of the iceberg is visible from atop the water. That equates to our behaviors and actions \u2014 not the 90% underneath.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The 90% underneath consists of our emotions, then thoughts, then beliefs.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Remember: mental health isn\u2019t so much about what happens to us as much as it is about how we <strong><em>interpret<\/em><\/strong> what\u2019s happened to us.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>From Dr. Albert Ellis, there are 3 steps: \u201cA\u201d &#8211; the Activating event, which is the objective truth. Then \u201cB\u201d &#8211; Belief, which is whatever running story we attach to the event. And finally \u201cC\u201d &#8211; Consequences, which is our reaction to A + B.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>In response, we each have 3 lives: public, private and secret.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Public statements are what we want people to believe. Politicians and celebrities oft live in this space. They are more about creating an impression instead of communicating truth.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Private statements can seem to be true at the time but change with circumstances, making them seem hollow.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>And our secret life \u2014 our core convictions \u2014 is where our feelings, thinking and longings meet.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Heart work is hard work.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Know, therefore, that false beliefs lead to inaccurate thinking, which leads to unhealthy emotions, which lead to destructive behaviors.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The logic of the heart trumps thinking.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The greatest sources of our suffering are in the lies we tell ourselves.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Hence, even the crazy, radical, most illogical beliefs don\u2019t die out in our culture today because of all of the above.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Lots to ponder this day, friends. Lots to think about. Remember: to be emotionally healthy is a decision we make for ourselves \u2014 not others. But what is good and right and true \u2014 which is clearly what emotional healthiness is \u2014 is undoubtedly contagious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>AR&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of my most rewarding, challenging, humbling, inspiring, all-rolled-into-one responsibilities involves the training and development of a younger, very talented, professional team. We talk a lot about what it means to be emotionally healthy. We talk, too, of what it means to lead in that capacity. It doesn\u2019t take but minimal reflection to discern a &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=13426\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;are you\/am I healthy?&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13426","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-event"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13426","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13426"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13426\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13434,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13426\/revisions\/13434"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13426"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13426"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13426"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}