{"id":14688,"date":"2024-07-24T09:59:41","date_gmt":"2024-07-24T13:59:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=14688"},"modified":"2024-07-24T09:59:41","modified_gmt":"2024-07-24T13:59:41","slug":"come-on-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=14688","title":{"rendered":"come on, people!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

[From Guest Writer #4 in our annual summer series…]<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Picture this scene: You are on your way to work \/ the doctor\u2019s office \/ church \/ your kid\u2019s soccer match \/ a date \/ the airport \/ lunch and the person in front of you is driving at or just below the posted speed limit, which is 40 MPH.  The gall!  You are already running late because you overslept \/ you had trouble putting your dog in the crate \/ you had to change an unexpected diaper \/ you had to stop to put gas in your car \/ life.  I\u2019m not sure about you, but for me, this plays out in my life on a weekly basis. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every time I get into my car, I do my best to drive with intent and purpose.  I am typically focused on where I am going, the best route to get there, and the Estimated Time of Arrival, especially if I\u2019m using the navigation app on my phone.  I\u2019m in my own little galaxy jamming to my awesome 80s alternative rock playlist or I\u2019m chatting with my son \/ daughter \/ wife about school \/ e-sports \/ scouts \/ soccer \/ chores \/ vacation \/ work \/ money \/ etc.  I\u2019m engaged within the confines of my car and keenly aware of the traffic around me at the same time.  Full transparency: I am not, however, always in tune with the \u201cthings\u201d in my world that might be impacting my mood and emotions.  Maybe there was a recent death or illness in the family, perhaps a friend is struggling with an addiction, my spouse and I just had a disagreement, I am worried about my kids, I am just hangry, or a million other things that impact each of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often, I \u201cvent\u201d my frustration about the other drivers, such as someone on their phone that is slow to proceed through a stoplight and I am in jeopardy of missing the green light and then having to sit for an extra 75 seconds, by saying out loud \u201cCome On People!\u201d\u2026 as if my urging can be heard or will impact what they do or not do in front of me.  My family has become so accustomed to hearing this that every now and then my son will say it for me.  But what am I really saying?  Underneath it all, I\u2019m saying that my time is more important than theirs or I am more courteous or that my driving is more effective.  This is nothing but simple pride.  OUCH!  This was a difficult pill for me to swallow the first time I really reflected on my attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I consider myself an above-average, considerate, conscientious, observant driver.\u00a0 I endeavor to do things like leave space for drivers entering from side streets, pulling forward if I see that it will make enough space for another car to be able to enter a turn lane or make a turn, moving out of the left lane if someone behind me wants to drive faster than I am, and always using my turn signal. Do I do all of these things 100% of the time\u2026 nope.\u00a0 Maybe I\u2019m a tad bit absent minded thinking about the new job my wife has been offered, or maybe I\u2019m thinking about that \u201cthing\u201d that I need to do for work tomorrow, or maybe I\u2019m just daydreaming of my retirement, or fill in the blank about anything else banging around in my subconscious. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I\u2019m with my 15-year-old son, we often talk about how each person\u2019s driving impacts the other drivers in the immediate area.  Over the past year he has blessed me with a few thoughts that have provided me with valuable perspective:  1) you never know what is going on inside of the other cars around you; 2) you never know what is going on inside of the head of the drivers around you; 3) not everyone is comfortable with how to navigate a roundabout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, not all drivers are \u201cgood\u201d drivers.\u00a0 Perhaps they don\u2019t understand the \u201crules of the interstate,\u201d that slower traffic should vacate the left-most lane if there is space available.\u00a0 Perhaps the driver has only been driving for a few months and is simply not as comfortable behind the wheel as I am after driving for 40 years.\u00a0 Maybe the driver is distracted by a text message, on a Bluetooth phone call, or even holding the phone in their hand.\u00a0 With all this in mind, even if you were the average driver, 50% of the other drivers around you are below average.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever heard of or read Stephen Covey\u2019s book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People<\/em>?\u00a0 One of the habits, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood,\u201d encourages the practice of “assuming positive intent” when interacting with others.\u00a0 What this boils down to is if you can choose between the negative or positive intent of someone else\u2019s actions, defer to assuming that everyone has good intentions.\u00a0 Oh\u2026 if I could only embrace that more readily while I am in my car\u2026 not to mention in my marriage \/ friendships \/ family \/ workplace.\u00a0 This is easier to say than to execute simply because at our core we are all selfish\u2026 at least to some degree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What if every time we got into our cars, we specifically concentrated on being polite?\u00a0 What if we intentionally looked for opportunities to let someone change lanes \/ merge where there was not actually sufficient space to do so?\u00a0 What if we treated other drivers as if we were having a face-to-face discussion?\u00a0 (I know I am less likely to yell at someone standing in front of me.)\u00a0 What if, instead of using hand gestures, we smiled and gave a friendly wave?\u00a0 What if we extended grace to the driver who cut us off?\u00a0 Does it matter whether it was intentional or not?\u00a0 I suggest it does not.\u00a0 I would also be willing to wager that my blood pressure goes down the more I concentrate on \u201cbeing nice\u201d to every other driver around me.\u00a0 What could we gain if we took a few seconds to exercise empathy and compassion?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHAT IF WE TRULY<\/strong> GAVE EVERYONE<\/strong> THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT?  EVERYWHERE!!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Respectfully,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA<\/p>\n\n\n\n

P.S.A. For the benefit of everyone around you, please use your turn signals!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[From Guest Writer #4 in our annual summer series…] Picture this scene: You are on your way to work \/ the doctor\u2019s office \/ church \/ your kid\u2019s soccer match \/ a date \/ the airport \/ lunch and the person in front of you is driving at or just below the posted speed limit, … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “come on, people!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-event"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14688","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14688"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14688\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14693,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14688\/revisions\/14693"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}