I used to think tricks were for kids, and soon I realized age was not a factor. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I speak not of pulling any rabbit from a hat nor sawing any female assistant in half. In fact, call it a \u201ctrick.\u201d Call it a \u201ctrap.\u201d The meanings are the same [with all emphasis mine]\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n trick<\/strong> | trik | – noun<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 a cunning or skillful act or scheme intended to deceive <\/em><\/strong>or outwit someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 a mischievous practical joke; an illusion<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n trap<\/strong> | trap | – noun<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 a situation in which people lie in wait to make a surprise attack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2022 a trick by which someone is misled<\/em><\/strong> into acting contrary to their interests or intentions; an unpleasant situation from which it is hard to escape.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The trick I feel we\u2019re increasingly falling into is the ease with which we create a binary choice. When making a choice, we assume the choice is solely between two alternatives. For example\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the reality is that there are far more options to choose from. (And in the above trifecta: other baseball teams exist, I may not care, and not everyone likes Miller Lite.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow me to echo the words of Daniel Kahneman, the Nobel Prize winning economist who parses the roles of emotion, cognition and perception. He affectionately refers to our tendency as WYSIATI: what you see is all there is. <\/strong>The binary bait is to craft a choice out of only what we can see.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Indeed it takes extra effort (and time, patience and humility, I would add) <\/em>to stop and ask, \u201cWhat\u2019s missing? What do I not see? What am I actually <\/em>unable<\/em><\/strong> to see from my vantage point?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow me, no less, to get to what I believe is the most current, frequent example of the trick\u2019s luring. I\u2019m a little hesitant only because I\u2019m aware of the feathers it may ruffle. In fact, it has been said many times straight to me. And you know what\u2019s incredibly uncanny in my opinion? It\u2019s been said about the same situation, same people, yet from totally opposite sides.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The binary trick we have assumed is that the upcoming election is a choice between right and wrong. There is only one right way to vote. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sit with that for a moment. And let me honor all who have strong opinions, immediately amen the above, and have decided which is which\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n The concerning reality is that there are many good people who believe that if you vote differently than them \u2014 if you conclude that the other candidate is the better choice \u2014 not only are you misguided, you are <\/em>wrong.<\/em><\/strong> It is impossible<\/strong> to have a wise or right response if it differs from their conclusion.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n With all due respect, that feels too simple to me. Maybe contemptuous, too. We assume we know what motivates the person who thinks differently than we do; we assume their motives, opinion is somehow faulty. We may not even know them \u2014 often we don’t! It doesn\u2019t matter; we negate their perspective. But the binary choice insulates us from doing the hard work of figuring out why<\/em><\/strong> they have a different perspective. The binary choice kills the beauty of curiosity. And perhaps most significantly, the binary choice blurs the lines between preference, opinion and conviction, making us think they\u2019re all the same. They are not. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Wiser would be to do the work to understand the why, why another feels differently than me\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t understand how you got here. We don\u2019t think the same. Can you help me see? Can you help me understand? I admit, that\u2019s hard for me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n We don\u2019t have to agree. But we can work to see. And working to see in no way threatens what we believe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I used to think tricks were for kids, and soon I realized age was not a factor. I speak not of pulling any rabbit from a hat nor sawing any female assistant in half. In fact, call it a \u201ctrick.\u201d Call it a \u201ctrap.\u201d The meanings are the same [with all emphasis mine]\u2026 trick | … <\/p>\n\n