All parents of teenagers will tell you one thing:\u00a0 sometimes teenagers lie.<\/p>\n
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Don\u2019t get me wrong.\u00a0 The Intramuralist has nothing against teenagers (save the added gray hair most of us adults seem to too easily acquire when a new young teen blesses our household.)\u00a0 <\/em>At some point, no less, they will lie.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It\u2019s not that they\u2019re bad or compulsive liars or even young persons who will seemingly be scarred for all of adulthood.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that they\u2019ve developed an incapacity for truth nor a fondness for the frequency of fibbing.\u00a0 No, in fact, I believe there exist multiple reasons for the deceit.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n One, we might not like the truth; we might disagree with what they did and why they did it.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Two, the truth might make them look bad.\u00a0 Who among us likes to look bad?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And three, sometimes it\u2019s just easier to lie.\u00a0 The truth can be too complicated.\u00a0 In order for another to fully understand, there may exist too many details or too much complexity; hence, lying is simply easier to articulate.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The challenge, though, exists in what happens \u2014 in how we respond, what we believe \u2014 in interactions after<\/em> the lie.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n After a situation in which \u2014 regardless of reason #1, 2, or 3 above \u2014 in which our teens tell a lie, does that deem them never<\/em> truthful again?\u00a0 Does that make them incapable<\/em> of telling the truth?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Of course not.\u00a0 They probably still are typically more truthful than not.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Does that mean, though, that we should doubt everything<\/em> they say?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Of course not.\u00a0 They still have things to share, and we still need to listen.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n But does it put their credibility in question \u2014 especially when the topics are trickier, the situation is more sensitive, and\/or the potential consequences are more severe?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Of course.\u00a0 Deceit and duplicity may be their default response when the circumstances become too intense.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And so I must ask:\u00a0 what\u2019s the difference between a teen and an adult?\u00a0 Is it only<\/em> teenagers who sometimes lie?\u00a0 Is it only the immature?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Is it only teenagers who sometimes hide the truth because a significant rest of us might disagree? … because it might make them look bad?\u00a0 … or the truth is too complicated?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I think one of the hardest things for us to wrestle with as adults is trusting the person who once has lied; harder still is trusting the person we believe<\/em> has lied, even if the proof of their intentional fabrication was ambiguous at best. \u00a0That could be a grandparent or person in government. \u00a0It could be a person we know well or simply see on the news.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n My point is this, friends… \u00a0\u201cOnce a liar, always a liar\u201d is not a wise proverb.\u00a0 The reality is that even a person who sometimes lies, still \u2014 most likely \u2014 tells the truth more often than not.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that the person who lied can never be trusted again; the challenge, though, is that his or her credibility is damaged because we can\u2019t discern the exact moment of deceit.\u00a0 The unfortunate reality also is, that \u201cLie once, lie again,\u201d may <\/em>be a wise proverb. \u00a0We simply don\u2019t know when that lie will come again.\u00a0 When the circumstances are more serious and the potential to look bad skyrockets, the potential for deception also increases exponentially… no matter the intelligence of the person… no matter a grandparent or person in government… \u00a0people will sometimes lie.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sometimes teenagers lie. \u00a0And yes, so do gray-haired adults.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Respectfully,<\/p>\n AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" All parents of teenagers will tell you one thing:\u00a0 sometimes teenagers lie. Don\u2019t get me wrong.\u00a0 The Intramuralist has nothing against teenagers (save the added gray hair most of us adults seem to too easily acquire when a new young teen blesses our household.)\u00a0 At some point, no less, they will lie. It\u2019s … <\/p>\n