Years ago there was a significant part of me that would acknowledge, \u201cI talked like a child; I thought like a child; I reasoned like a child.\u201d\u00a0<\/i> I suppose deep within each of us there will always exist some grappling with that immaturity.\u00a0 12 years ago my immaturity was altered.<\/p>\n
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I was awaiting my authorized exit from the hospital, having given birth the day before to our third son.\u00a0 My exit was authorized; his was not.<\/p>\n
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Note #1:\u00a0 Josh wasn\u2019t the child I expected.<\/p>\n
Note #2:\u00a0 none of our children are what we expect.<\/p>\n
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As valiantly as any attempt, we cannot control all aspects of any child \u2014 who they are or what they will become.\u00a0 With young master Josh, we simply knew that right away.<\/p>\n
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Josh was born with Down syndrome.\u00a0 He was also born with a life-threatening congenital heart defect that would cause us to spend a month in the cardiac ICU wing, only a few short months after his birth.<\/p>\n
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There is much we could discuss today in regard to the specifics…\u00a0 how much we knew beforehand… how he couldn\u2019t breathe on his own when born… how the OB staff still saw Josh as a miracle… how I felt no pain, with no meds, even with contractions at their most intense point… the night he almost died… how people walked alongside us, learning to love us both practically and well… how others stumbled forward, not knowing what to say… how it was hard for all<\/em> of us… how we understood… \u00a0how family embraced us… how other moments were awkward and some even ugly… like how the geneticist greeted us by saying, \u201cThis must be the saddest day of your whole life.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Each of those could serve as a blog post in their own right (… and maybe they will some day), <\/i>but with the plethora of unique and raw emotion, what the Intramuralist desires to focus on today \u2014 noting all the crud and disrespectful communication that\u2019s especially rampant in the country \u2014 is how Josh\u2019s birth changed how I think… how this then newborn babe helped me talk and think and reason a little less \u201clike a child\u201d…<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I\u2019m a little less judgmental.<\/p>\n I no longer believe intelligence and wisdom are the same.<\/p>\n I value wisdom more.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t believe intelligence is all it\u2019s cracked up to be.<\/p>\n I have a different concept of beauty.<\/p>\n Big words don\u2019t always speak best.<\/p>\n Outward appearances mean less.<\/p>\n I really don\u2019t care about IQ tests.<\/p>\n I care a lot<\/i> about solid character.<\/p>\n I\u2019m more intentional in teaching our children well.<\/p>\n I value life more.<\/p>\n I realize how little I\u2019m in control.<\/p>\n I know God is real.<\/p>\n I know his ways aren\u2019t always my ways, but I now know they\u2019re still good.<\/p>\n I see a difference between what the world calls wisdom and what wisdom really is.<\/p>\n My heart is softer.<\/p>\n I have a greater recognition of something bigger than me.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not afraid to speak truth.<\/p>\n With compassion, of course.<\/p>\n I love better and less conditionally.<\/p>\n And I recognize that none of us know it all.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I didn\u2019t\u00a0\u2014 and still\u00a0don’t\u00a0<\/em>\u2014\u00a0 know it all. \u00a0I didn\u2019t even know as much as I thought I did. \u00a0Years ago I never knew how one small child could melt my heart… melting it down to a place of greater compassion… and far greater wisdom… and how what this world considers bad and weak could be so ironically, good and strong.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Thank God for 12 years ago… for reasoning a little less \u201clike a child.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Respectfully,<\/p>\n AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Years ago there was a significant part of me that would acknowledge, \u201cI talked like a child; I thought like a child; I reasoned like a child.\u201d\u00a0 I suppose deep within each of us there will always exist some grappling with that immaturity.\u00a0 12 years ago my immaturity was altered. I was awaiting my … <\/p>\n