{"id":3227,"date":"2014-05-18T10:21:19","date_gmt":"2014-05-18T14:21:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=3227"},"modified":"2014-05-18T10:21:19","modified_gmt":"2014-05-18T14:21:19","slug":"impression-management","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=3227","title":{"rendered":"impression management"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG_0206\"<\/a>Years ago I read this terrific book by John Ortberg that rocked my thinking somewhat.\u00a0 It was called \u201cThe Life You\u2019ve Always Wanted,\u201d described further by its subtitle, \u201cSpiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People.\u201d\u00a0 I feel pretty ordinary (…and truthfully, I also quickly surmised that if I could attain the primo, desired life for a mere $12 book, then such would be dollars well spent).<\/i><\/p>\n

One of Ortberg\u2019s more profound concepts was the idea\u00a0 of \u201cimpression management\u201d — the intentional attempt to manipulate other people’s opinions of us through targeted actions and words.\u00a0 The attempt may be subtle; it may be slight.\u00a0 It may be as simple as, \u201cI don\u2019t watch much TV, but I saw this program the other day…\u201d\u00a0 In other words, I am attempting to convey the impression that I don\u2019t watch much television.\u00a0 Impression management is a self-crafted means of getting others to believe what we want them<\/i> to believe about us — but not necessarily believing what\u2019s true.\u00a0 Impression management takes time, energy, and insincerity, which combined equates to an unfortunate burden.<\/p>\n

I used to think that impression management was solely exercised by our budding teenagers, seeking to find societal acceptance.\u00a0 I thought, too, perhaps, it was only an attempt of the less intelligent; but when reading that ordinary book, it became painfully obvious that the practice is not indigenous to either the teen or intelligent.\u00a0 We care what others think of us.\u00a0 The motive may be different, but the awareness is rampant.\u00a0 Regardless of intellect or age, people continually attempt to manipulate the impressions others have.<\/p>\n

The most striking, apparent example this week was the criminal indictment of former NFL star, Aaron Hernandez.\u00a0 Hernandez, who played for the New England Patriots, was charged with fatally shooting two immigrants in July of 2012.\u00a0 Prosecutors believe Hernandez \u201cstalked, ambushed, and senselessly murdered\u201d two innocent men, who had a \u201cchance encounter\u201d with the so-called \u201cPatriot\u201d earlier in the evening.\u00a0 Let\u2019s be clear to offer the caveat that these are still charges and not a verdict confirmed.\u00a0 Hernandez is, however, already jailed for charges in the fatal shooting of another Massachusetts man.<\/p>\n

The impression management is visible via the dates.\u00a0 The shooting occurred on July 16th.\u00a0 On August 27th — after<\/i> the shooting had taken place but before<\/i> Hernandez\u2019s suspected involvement —\u00a0 Hernandez signed a $41 million contract with New England.\u00a0 In his press conference — a moment team owner Robert Kraft called \u201cone of the touching moments since I\u2019ve owned the team\u201d — Hernandez said:<\/p>\n

\u201cHe [Kraft] changed my life.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m able to basically have a good chance to be set for life and have a good life and I have a daughter on the way, and I have a family that I love… He didn\u2019t need to give me the amount he gave me and knowing he thinks I deserve that and he trusts me to make the right decisions, it means a lot.\u00a0 It means he trusts in my character and the person I am, which means a lot.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

Hernandez was attempting to manage the impression we have of him.<\/p>\n

Whether it be people, pundits, politicians, or press secretaries… whether it be celebrities or ordinary citizens… we are actively engaged in this less-than-honest effort.\u00a0 Pick your issue.\u00a0 Pick your event.\u00a0 Pick your policy or platform or surrounding spin.\u00a0 Pick your activist group.\u00a0 Pick your supposed coverup.\u00a0 Pick your athlete or agent.\u00a0 Impression management is alive and well — and serves far too frequently as an unchallenged societal and political practice.<\/p>\n

I love Ortberg\u2019s application question… \u201cWhat do you think would change in your life if you were free from the burden of \u2018impression management,\u2019 of trying to get other people to think about you in a certain way?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n

What if the so-called less ordinary, politicians and celebrities, did the same?<\/p>\n

Respectfully…<\/p>\n

AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Years ago I read this terrific book by John Ortberg that rocked my thinking somewhat.\u00a0 It was called \u201cThe Life You\u2019ve Always Wanted,\u201d described further by its subtitle, \u201cSpiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People.\u201d\u00a0 I feel pretty ordinary (…and truthfully, I also quickly surmised that if I could attain the primo, desired life for a mere … <\/p>\n

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