{"id":3968,"date":"2014-12-04T06:19:39","date_gmt":"2014-12-04T11:19:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=3968"},"modified":"2014-12-04T06:52:43","modified_gmt":"2014-12-04T11:52:43","slug":"understanding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=3968","title":{"rendered":"understanding"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"huddleCLR\"<\/a>\u201cMom, you just don\u2019t understand!\u201d<\/em> said one son yesterday morning, after hiding his sibling\u2019s things in order to get back at him for a perceived, serious offense. You just don\u2019t understand.<\/em> We are way too good at placing all onus on someone else — that the essence of the problem is the ignorance of another — as opposed to empathy for all.<\/p>\n

How many times do we sit back in our less-than-humble perches boldly sharing with another that they<\/em> need to understand?<\/p>\n

Friends, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Parents, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Kids, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Men, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Women, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Husbands, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Wives, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Black people, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

White people, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Liberals, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Conservatives, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Those in between, you need to understand…<\/em><\/p>\n

Americans, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Native Americans, you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, architects, economists, ice cream salesmen, etc., you need to understand… <\/em><\/p>\n

We so easily call out all people groups, assuming an entire group thinks and feels the same. We so easily magnify what they are missing as opposed to reflect upon our own omissions.<\/p>\n

You just don\u2019t understand.<\/em><\/p>\n

I wonder how the world would operate differently, if instead of boldly proclaiming the omissions of others, we spent more time humbly reflecting upon the gaps in our own wisdom. Would that not encourage empathy for all — as opposed to only empathy for some? And if empathy is only for some, is it really empathy?<\/p>\n

Too often we pounce upon what another people group doesn\u2019t \u201cget\u201d — placing all onus upon them, as if we know better and best. \u201cWe\u201d will each know things another does not; but none of us know all. Too often, too, this happens either in social media or before public microphones and cameras; in other words, too often this happens outside the authenticity of face-to-face, respectful conversation. It dumbfounds me how so many fall so easily prey to a social media boldness that limits authentic dialogue and conversation. Sorry… but that\u2019s not brave; that\u2019s not bold. That\u2019s a lack of respect for other people.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Mom, you just don\u2019t understand!\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

What was the offense that called for my son\u2019s clamor? One of his older brothers said something to him that he didn\u2019t like. Defensive due to a seemingly crass expression, my youngest chose to then hide an ample supply of my oldest\u2019s personal belongings.<\/p>\n

Did I understand? Maybe. Maybe not… I get your anger. I get your frustration. I get that this is a big deal for you, and even though I don\u2019t share your perspective, I want to hear you and walk with you through this…<\/em> I also desire to teach my son better… teaching him to look inside himself first, never allowing his offense to impede the humble reflection that leads to wisdom and growth.<\/p>\n

Respectfully…<\/p>\n

AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cMom, you just don\u2019t understand!\u201d said one son yesterday morning, after hiding his sibling\u2019s things in order to get back at him for a perceived, serious offense. You just don\u2019t understand. We are way too good at placing all onus on someone else — that the essence of the problem is the ignorance of another … <\/p>\n

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