{"id":5075,"date":"2015-08-13T07:49:48","date_gmt":"2015-08-13T11:49:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=5075"},"modified":"2015-08-13T07:56:42","modified_gmt":"2015-08-13T11:56:42","slug":"our-kids-dignity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=5075","title":{"rendered":"our kids’ dignity"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"photo-1429277005502-eed8e872fe52\"<\/a>When my dear friend AR asked me to write again for her, I honestly had two reactions. First, I was very humbled and honored, and secondly, I was at a loss of what topic to write about this year. After much much prayer, I hope this is what He wanted me to write…<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t tell you the number of moms (sorry, Moms; I\u2019ve heard these things from you directly)<\/em> I\u2019ve talked to recently who are denying the opportunity for their children to learn self-reliance and responsibility. Let me elaborate, and please, please hear me; I\u2019m sure there are times we\u2019ve failed, but I\u2019d like to think our boys are self-sustaining or heading in that direction.<\/p>\n

I will give examples of \u201cdignity squashers\u201d first \u2014 then move on to the \u201cdignity encouragers.\u201d Let me give the exact definition of dignity so we\u2019re on the same page. Dignity is pride in oneself, self-respect, self-worth. By not teaching our children life skills that evoke dignity, we as parents are setting them up to fail. If they don\u2019t have the necessary life skills to move on, we are crippling them to be dependent, entitled adults. We as parents MUST have the goal of teaching our children to be dependent, self-sustaining adults. Therefore, they can have a family and home of their own. We all want our kids to be able to make it on their own \u2014 and be successful. However, I don\u2019t think these moms are realizing they are doing damage to their kids and their future families.<\/p>\n

Allow me to set the stage\u2026 It\u2019s a middle school gym, on an abnormally warm February day. The gym is packed with parents, students, and two wrestling teams. It was warm in there; we were sitting cheek to cheek, and it was almost over. A heavyweight boy then took the mat for his turn to end the day; his effort was no match for the skill and experience of the other team\u2019s boy. Our wrestler got pinned, and laid on the mat crying. As if that wasn\u2019t humiliating enough, the boy\u2019s mom and sister came screaming, and tromping down to the mat from the top row of the bleachers. They threw themselves on top of him, screaming and wailing his name. I was mortified for the boy.<\/p>\n

Another example is blurbs of conversations I\u2019ve had\u2026 A mom is preparing for her children to start driving and begin thinking of college majors and desired schools; however, she won\u2019t allow her kids to use a sharp knife. \u00a0Another mom is still ordering food, making appointments, pumping gas, making sandwiches, and actually moving to college with her son<\/em> \u2014 because he isn\u2019t able or prepared (or she doesn\u2019t believe he\u2019s able or prepared)<\/em> to do these things on his own.<\/p>\n

A girl my son dated, couldn\u2019t make toast; she had never used a washing machine or dishwasher. I asked her why, and she said her mom said it was easier to just do it herself. Friends, please hear me; the goal of parenthood is NOT to make our kids\u2019 lives so easy that they can\u2019t function on their own. Does it feel good to be needed? Yes, absolutely. But trust me when you see your kid making and doing things on their own that are needed skills. That feels awesome!<\/p>\n

Let me give another example of a dear friend that has had two major events in her life, that I have been awestruck at the grace and dignity that she extended to her son. My friend, T, posted they were elated to announce that their son was going to a well named college to play his dream of football. More posts came of him moving in and starting school; however, a short time into the year, he decided it wasn\u2019t what he wanted to do and came home. There were other circumstances, I\u2019m sure. How did my friend, T, show dignity to her son? She posted a simple statement that he was home from school, and they were seeking the Lord\u2019s guidance and allowing him some space. WOW! I was astounded at the grace and humility she showed. She denied the possibility of any gossip to start and gave her son the dignity he deserved.<\/p>\n

The same family, a short time later, found themselves in a potentially devastating position. Their son\u2019s girlfriend became pregnant. As the mom of boys, I totally appreciated her difficult spot. What did my grace-filled friend do now? She posted another simple, loving, brutally honest statement. She said she loved them \u2014 and children are a blessing from the Lord; this child is no different. She made a beautiful, simple statement \u2014 and denied the stirring of gossip pots as her family moved on to honor God with their lives.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s my last thought\u2026 Don\u2019t dread your children growing up. Be excited for what the future holds, because you know you\u2019ve prepared them. Reassure them that you will always be there to give them support to help in anyway, but it\u2019s not your place to take opportunities away from them because you didn\u2019t prepare them or couldn\u2019t deal with life\u2019s natural progression.<\/p>\n

As always, it is my prayer for those who need to hear this to take it to heart. Those who aren\u2019t ready to come to grips with this, bookmark it and come back to it after you seek His truth. I\u2019m in no way insinuating I\u2019ve always given my sons dignity in every difficult situation; however, it is what I strive for daily.<\/p>\n

With Prayer\u2026 Not to Offend But to Enlighten\u2026<\/p>\n

Mama Wahl<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When my dear friend AR asked me to write again for her, I honestly had two reactions. First, I was very humbled and honored, and secondly, I was at a loss of what topic to write about this year. After much much prayer, I hope this is what He wanted me to write… I can\u2019t … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “our kids’ dignity”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5075"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5075\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5082,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5075\/revisions\/5082"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}