{"id":5396,"date":"2015-10-27T06:06:13","date_gmt":"2015-10-27T10:06:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=5396"},"modified":"2015-10-27T06:14:52","modified_gmt":"2015-10-27T10:14:52","slug":"eq","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=5396","title":{"rendered":"EQ"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG_5136\"<\/a>We did a crazy thing last Thursday. After a full day of work and regularly scheduled activities \u2014 even including a sweet, high school choral concert right before we headed out \u2014 we hopped in our car a little after 9 p.m. and drove the 814 miles to see our oldest, newly- indoctrinated college freshman. We spent approximately 39 hours with him (that\u2019s if you count sleep time, too).<\/em> So it obviously wasn\u2019t our most practical of trips, but the benefit far surpassed the cost.<\/p>\n

As we reflected upon the weekend, one thought stood out that seemed incredibly \u201cblog worthy.\u201d I mean, when seeing him for the first time in two months, it was well apparent that our boy was now a man. Certainly, like each of us, he has areas to grow in, but his growth was obvious \u2014 that direct turn into adulthood, with all the independence, joy, responsibility and awareness that accompanies the movement. I was immediately, humbly proud\u2026 and aware, too, of something bigger. Follow me here\u2026<\/p>\n

So many of us are concerned regarding society\u2019s seemingly, downward sloping spiral; it\u2019s as if as a world, we are quickly, morally digressing. We may vary in our perception of the cause of that spiral \u2014 be it a loss of virtue, faith, or respect for one another \u2014 or be it instead an embracing of humanism, individualism, or an \u201cif-it-feels-good-it-must-be-right\u201d mentality. But a clear majority of the country consistently vocalizes an impression that as a society, we\u2019re on the wrong track.<\/p>\n

I wonder if part of that perceived, wrongful direction is because of what we have modeled for the younger generation. I wonder if we have embraced and taught the wrong things which have thus led us down the wrong track. Have we taught our kids poorly \u2014 encouraging the embracing of lesser things? Have we been negligent role models? Have we embraced intelligence instead of wisdom? \u2026material success instead of emotional health? \u2026 self-promotion instead of selflessly loving our neighbor?<\/p>\n

Years ago my spouse and I read a fantastic book together, no doubt instrumental in our parenting. We read \u201cRaising An Emotionally Intelligent Child,\u201d written by John Gottman, Ph.D.<\/p>\n

In it Gottman challenges parents to foster and develop the \u201cintelligence that comes from the heart.\u201d Instead of advocating for the best grades, best schools, and or best materialistic something,<\/em> Gottman focuses on what\u2019s better. He encourages parents to coach the following:<\/p>\n

– Be aware of a child’s emotions.
\n– Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching.
\n– Listen empathetically and validate a child’s feelings.
\n– Label emotions in words a child can understand; and\u2026
\n– Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation.<\/p>\n

Such is the core of emotional coaching \u2014 leading to emotional intelligence in the younger generation.<\/p>\n

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a term that gained prominence after the 1995 so titled book by Daniel Goleman. EQ refers to the ability to recognize and distinguish different feelings in oneself and in others. That awareness then guides a person\u2019s thinking and behavior.<\/p>\n

It seems to me that much of our society struggles with exactly that. We struggle with appropriate ways to solve problems; we struggle when wrestling with upsetting issues or situations; we struggle to listen to one another empathetically. And while many may be incredibly gifted or academically intelligent, we are not necessarily emotionally intelligent. The fact that our society and our leaders do not consistently treat one another with empathy and respect \u2014 or only treat a select, like few with such grace \u2014 shows a glaring scarcity of emotional intelligence.<\/p>\n

Back then, to last weekend\u2026<\/p>\n

It was great to see my son adjusting to his new surroundings. While undoubtedly aware of the potential hurdles along his current path, I see in him a man who has sweetly grown\u2026 a man embracing the reality of where he is\u2026 a man more sensitive to and respectful of those around him\u2026 a man learning how to listen… a man who is working positively through challenging situations… a man who is intelligent, who was emotionally prepared to go to college.<\/p>\n

It was a beautiful, reflective drive home\u2026 all 814 miles.<\/p>\n

Respectfully\u2026
\nAR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We did a crazy thing last Thursday. After a full day of work and regularly scheduled activities \u2014 even including a sweet, high school choral concert right before we headed out \u2014 we hopped in our car a little after 9 p.m. and drove the 814 miles to see our oldest, newly- indoctrinated college freshman. … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “EQ”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5396","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-event"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5396","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5396"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5396\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5402,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5396\/revisions\/5402"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5396"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5396"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5396"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}