{"id":6096,"date":"2016-04-10T08:44:08","date_gmt":"2016-04-10T12:44:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=6096"},"modified":"2016-04-10T08:44:08","modified_gmt":"2016-04-10T12:44:08","slug":"conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=6096","title":{"rendered":"conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"photo-1422558044352-896cd9799885\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Conflict is inevitable.<\/p>\n

If you disagree, flip through Facebook, turn on the news, or ask anyone how they feel about a Clinton, Kardashian, or current, hot-button social issue. Geeeeesh.<\/p>\n

We unfortunately live in a world full of conflict; it\u2019s all around us\u2026 from all the partisan and social sites, where people generously proclaim how right they are and how wrong is another\u2026 where even the brightest among us forbiddingly call out others\u2026 It\u2019s seemingly the current day manifestation of Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtain\u2019s iconic SNL \u201cPoint\/Counterpoint\u201d skit \u2014 just in a far less funny form.<\/p>\n

Conflict is all around us.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, no less, we<\/em> also often contribute to the discord. Sometimes we\u2019re even responsible. Speaking solely for self \u2014 I must admit \u2014 sometimes I am part of the problem.<\/p>\n

I have concluded that this yucky conflict stuff is thus unavoidable. As much as we may attempt to fast from social media and all the contemporary crud that fills the evening news flow, I don\u2019t believe that conflict can be avoided. It isn\u2019t always only witnessed on our computer screens; sometimes it hits closer to home; sometimes, in fact, it actually hits in<\/em> our home.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been wrestling with now to navigate through conflict wisely \u2014 and how resolution can indeed occur.<\/p>\n

Where do we start?<\/p>\n

Part of the challenge is that we sometimes start by thinking, \u201cmaybe, if I just voice my opinion a little louder, the other person will finally understand\u201d\u2026 as if we merely didn\u2019t voice our opinion loud enough the first time.<\/p>\n

(I\u2019ve yet to meet a single person for whom that\u2019s been effective.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Still more of the challenge is that we sometimes start by thinking we can remedy the problem if we become firmer or sterner or lay down the heavy hand\u2026 \u201cI\u2019ll show him who\u2019s boss. Does he not know who I am?!\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n

(Again, not an effective conflict resolution tool.)<\/em><\/p>\n

For years I\u2019ve read the books of Carnegie and Covey, scouring the pages for the most efficacious remedy. Their words are wise\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cSeek first to understand \u2014 then to be understood.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTry to build bridges of understanding.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cCould my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth or merit in their position or argument?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cTo solve our most difficult problems we must radically change our thinking.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThink Win-Win\u2026 look for the best outcome for all involved.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

I think each of those is excellent\u2026 understanding, forgiveness, empathy, respect\u2026<\/p>\n

But I also believe each begins from an initial position of brokenness \u2014 that humble, contagious, contrition\u2026 a contrition that\u2019s born out of humility\u2026 a contrition that starts with self\u2026 a contrition that starts with \u201cme.\u201d<\/p>\n

While it\u2019s true that we don\u2019t have to attend every argument we\u2019re invited to, we cannot avoid conflict. We do, though, need to learn to respond more wisely \u2014 and thus, more effectively.<\/p>\n

Respectfully\u2026
\nAR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Conflict is inevitable. If you disagree, flip through Facebook, turn on the news, or ask anyone how they feel about a Clinton, Kardashian, or current, hot-button social issue. Geeeeesh. We unfortunately live in a world full of conflict; it\u2019s all around us\u2026 from all the partisan and social sites, where people generously proclaim how right … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “conflict”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6096","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-event"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6096","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6096"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6096\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6100,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6096\/revisions\/6100"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6096"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6096"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6096"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}