{"id":6467,"date":"2016-07-26T06:24:13","date_gmt":"2016-07-26T10:24:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=6467"},"modified":"2016-07-26T06:38:07","modified_gmt":"2016-07-26T10:38:07","slug":"all-figured-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=6467","title":{"rendered":"all figured out"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"photo-1455719481584-9272f72df2fb\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We think we know everything there is to know about a person.\u00a0We think we totally get them.\u00a0Once we\u2019ve seen them act a certain way, treat others a certain way, or especially speak a certain way, that\u2019s the box we put them into\u2026\u00a0as if they act, treat others, and speak to all people, always the same. We then base our so-called \u201cboxes\u201d on our often, unknown-to-be-limited perspective.<\/p>\n

I get it. Sometimes people act that way more than once \u2014 maybe three, four, even five or six\u00a0times. So by then, of course, as for me, I\u2019ve got them all figured out. I know what makes them tick.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s not even start on this year\u2019s election and those running for president. I confess: many days I would tell you, even in hopeful humility, that I feel like I have them all figured out. I know why they say what they say \u2014 so calculated, strategic, and all with some hidden motive in mind. And when they say something that doesn\u2019t fit with my creatively crafted narrative, I can give you a reason why they were not as they seem \u2014 why reality is wrong \u2014 and my perception is most accurate.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll confess: I\u2019m no huge fan of any left who are running for president nor all the justified demonization\u00a0\u2014 but much of that has to do with the fact that I \u2014 and they \u2014\u00a0think we\u2019ve got them all figured out.<\/p>\n

So I must ask myself \u2014 extending this pondering past any polarized, election choice \u2014 where else do we do this? I\u2019ll ask just for me: how much of my own perception becomes my reality for everyone else? \u2026 how much do I assume I know what other people mean and exactly what motivates them?<\/p>\n

How much do I feel like I have them and their motives all figured out \u2014 negatively or<\/em><\/strong> positively \u2014 when my response is based more on incomplete perception than on confirmed reality?<\/p>\n

Perhaps that’s easy to do with those we only see on TV, read about on-line, or have zero\u00a0in-depth relationship with. Yet the thought became more poignant to me over the weekend, since it came from one I know well\u2026<\/p>\n

As has been proudly referenced here multiple times, one of my greatest privileges in life is being blessed to be the parent of each of my boys \u2014 one being young master Joshua. Let\u2019s be clear: Josh teaches me things I never would have known without him.<\/p>\n

Josh is now 14, a freshman to be, and budding with the wisdom and zeal to always embrace what\u2019s next. (\u201cLivin\u2019 the dream,\u201d as he likes to say it. \u201cIt\u2019s what I do.\u201d)<\/em> As known to most, Josh also has Down syndrome. That is not a negative; that is merely one part of the way Josh was remarkably and wonderfully made.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, though, Josh and I struggle a bit to communicate effectively (which, I will add, seems relevant with most<\/strong> teenagers at some point in time).<\/em> One example arose this past weekend.<\/p>\n

Enjoying his newfound fluency on social media, Josh updated his Facebook status with a brief, simple statement. He wrote: \u201cMy don’t like my own face.\u201d<\/p>\n

I knew he meant \u201cI don\u2019t like\u201d it, but I didn\u2019t understand the motive for his statement. Like many, I assumed he was a little down on himself. Granted, he\u2019s not one that stays down for long \u2014 one of the many things he does far better than me. But I would later go to him with the clear intent to console. Note: I assumed I had what he said all figured out.<\/p>\n

My attempt was greeted with an immediate \u201cyou don\u2019t understand.\u201d But then very calmly and quietly, he meticulously pointed out to me in all seriousness, \u201cMom, too many people have figured out that I\u2019m a superhero. I have to change that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shhhh\u2026 don\u2019t tell him I told you. It\u2019s a bit of a secret between us. Besides, he\u2019ll think you have him all figured out.<\/p>\n

Respectfully\u2026
\nAR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We think we know everything there is to know about a person.\u00a0We think we totally get them.\u00a0Once we\u2019ve seen them act a certain way, treat others a certain way, or especially speak a certain way, that\u2019s the box we put them into\u2026\u00a0as if they act, treat others, and speak to all people, always the same. … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “all figured out”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6467","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6467","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6467"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6467\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6480,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6467\/revisions\/6480"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6467"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6467"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6467"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}