{"id":6895,"date":"2016-11-20T08:56:38","date_gmt":"2016-11-20T13:56:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=6895"},"modified":"2016-11-20T08:56:38","modified_gmt":"2016-11-20T13:56:38","slug":"the-bubble-of-lalaland","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=6895","title":{"rendered":"the bubble of lalaland"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"photo-1463109598173-3864231fade5\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Recently I experienced a tough conflict with a few friends. \u201cTough\u201d means the conflict was deep, the passions were strong, and the people are important to me; we didn\u2019t all feel the same way, and navigating through the conflict is difficult. Shortly after the conflict commenced, I got on a plane and flew to LaLaLand\u2026 ok, Orlando\u2026 Disney\u2026 No offense to all my Florida friends\u2026 it was a wonderful weekend away.<\/p>\n

It was wonderful for many reasons \u2014 foremost being the ability to escape the prevailing, oh-so-beautiful \u201covercastness\u201d of a November in the Midwest \u2014 where the first, coldest breezes signaling autumn\u2019s end do far more than send a chill up one\u2019s spine. I was able to exchange such loveliness for warm temps, sunshine, and a pretty spiffy, spanking new convertible.<\/p>\n

It was a leisure trip \u2014 minimal work \u2014 a few professional meetings, but mostly just relaxing and basking in the sunshine.<\/p>\n

Yet another reason for the trip being wonderful was that it provided for me a bit of a bubble\u2026 a cleared out, insulating space where I didn\u2019t have to deal with anything but the warm temps, sunshine, and spiffy convertible.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t have to deal with the conflict.<\/p>\n

In fact, not only did I not have to deal with it, but the beauty of the bubble is that it allowed me to escape reality for a while. I could go and frolic and bask in the Sunshine State\u2019s sunshine\u2026 and thus escape and ignore what remained back underneath the overcast.<\/p>\n

The bubble effectively insulated me from reality.<\/p>\n

But a funny thing happens when you fly to the land of Minnie and Mickey for a weekend. You have to fly back.<\/p>\n

Flying back means wrestling with reality.<\/p>\n

The reality is that the conflict does exist and because the people are important to me, I\u2019m going to have to work it out. I\u2019m going to have to deal with some messy stuff. I\u2019m going to have to humble myself long enough to admit my own wrongful thinking, and navigate through some challenging perspectives. I\u2019m going to have to be still. I\u2019m going to have to listen and learn from more than the likeminded. I\u2019m going to have to respectfully articulate my opinion. I\u2019m going to have to quit convincing myself that I have the sole valid take on the issue. And I\u2019m going to have wrestle with the legitimacy of a side other than mine, even when that\u2019s incredibly difficult for me to see.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s be clear; it\u2019s not that I need to simply lay down, submit, and surrender my opinion; it\u2019s not that I have to dismiss the validity of my experience. No, my opinion is valid. Each<\/em> of our opinions are valid. It\u2019s more that we must each listen to each other. I must listen. They must listen. I must refrain from judgment. They must refrain from judgment.<\/p>\n

Why? Because listening to others and refraining from judgment are keys to wisdom.<\/p>\n

I will be very honest. I don\u2019t always have a desire to listen. Sometimes it\u2019s easier for me to just hang out in my bubble, insulated by the exterior, and not navigate through any tough conflicts. Sometimes it\u2019s easier to go to Disneyland.<\/p>\n

But I believe in loving all people well. I believe in respect for all people \u2014 not just the ones who see the world as I do. I believe in seeing life through the eyes of people who are different than me\u2026 even when it\u2019s hard. They sharpen me. They help me grow.<\/p>\n

Please, though\u2026 don\u2019t think more highly of me than you ought. I make more than my fair share of mistakes and obvious errors in judgment. This isn\u2019t easy. I just want what\u2019s better, wiser, and more.<\/p>\n

Also\u2026 it\u2019s really hard to quit thinking about that convertible.<\/p>\n

Respectfully\u2026 always\u2026
\nAR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently I experienced a tough conflict with a few friends. \u201cTough\u201d means the conflict was deep, the passions were strong, and the people are important to me; we didn\u2019t all feel the same way, and navigating through the conflict is difficult. Shortly after the conflict commenced, I got on a plane and flew to LaLaLand\u2026 … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “the bubble of lalaland”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,8,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-event","category-current-issue","category-daily-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6895","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6895"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6895\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6900,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6895\/revisions\/6900"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6895"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6895"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}