{"id":7271,"date":"2017-04-04T06:22:32","date_gmt":"2017-04-04T10:22:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=7271"},"modified":"2017-04-04T06:35:23","modified_gmt":"2017-04-04T10:35:23","slug":"wrong","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/?p=7271","title":{"rendered":"wrong?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This weekend a friend shared an honest, transparent question on Facebook.<\/p>\n

The question was something like, \u201cHow sensitive should we be to the expectations of others in our own sharing and expression?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She then gave the example of those who post sonogram shots of their soon-to-be-born babes and how hurtful that can be to those who are unable to have children or who have actually miscarried.<\/p>\n

My friend\u2019s Q was honest and authentic; she really wanted to know. How sensitive should we be?<\/p>\n

Is it ok to wish someone a Happy Easter in the coming month, even though others may take offense at the celebration of Christ\u2019s resurrection?<\/p>\n

Was it ok in February to send candy hearts and all sorts of public love wishes for Valentines Day, even though for many, it\u2019s a reminder of recent or former heartbreak?<\/p>\n

Does that make the sincere, public expression associated with Easter, Valentines, etc.\u00a0wrong?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

What about the holidays that are more individualized\u2026<\/p>\n

Some of us celebrate marital anniversaries; some of us do not. My friend, in fact, is a soon-to-be, unwanting-to-be, divorced woman. Does that make acknowledging and celebrating our individual anniversaries \u2014 again \u2014 wrong?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

My sense is that we\u2019re not very good at this.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re not very good as a culture at refraining from placing our expectations upon everyone else. We\u2019re not very good at truly putting ourselves in someone else\u2019s shoes. Sometimes, we\u2019re only willing to put on a few, select pairs.<\/p>\n

Putting on someone else\u2019s shoes, for example, means I never rub my acknowledgement, celebration, or emotion in the face of another. I recognize that some moments\/events are hard for some people, and thus I am intentionally careful with any\u00a0bold broadcast.<\/p>\n

Putting on someone else\u2019s shoes also<\/strong><\/em> means that I allow the emotion of another to be expressed. I don\u2019t have to stop or diminish another\u2019s emotion simply because I do not share it nor feel it.<\/p>\n

Again, we\u2019re not very good at this.<\/p>\n

Sometimes it seems we attempt to shut down what we don\u2019t understand. We\u2019re not good at what we can\u2019t relate to. We\u2019re not good at recognizing that two different people can have two different reactions to the same kind of event\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026 and\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026 both emotions can be ok.<\/p>\n

As potentially expected, my friend\u2019s initial post created extensive conversation. (Honest, transparent questions have a way of doing that.)<\/em> Some persons keyed in just to learn and grow, and arguably to flag those places in their own lives where they aren\u2019t all that good at wearing the shoes of another\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere can I grow?\u2026 Do I have any blind spots? \u2026 any places where I\u2019m really not all that gentle and kind? \u2026 any places where I am judgmental and intolerant?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Others commented freely \u2014 some with strong opinions\u2026 some even, seemingly, with the \u201chow-dare-you\u201d kind of Q\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Sadly, my friend and I are no longer \u201cFacebook friends.\u201d Not because of us; we\u2019re good. But because yesterday, after her post, she left social media.<\/p>\n

Some were unkind in their response. Some felt no need to wear her shoes.<\/p>\n

Respectfully\u2026
\nAR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This weekend a friend shared an honest, transparent question on Facebook. The question was something like, \u201cHow sensitive should we be to the expectations of others in our own sharing and expression?\u201d She then gave the example of those who post sonogram shots of their soon-to-be-born babes and how hurtful that can be to those … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “wrong?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7271"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7271\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7278,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7271\/revisions\/7278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intramuralist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}