I struggled this year. I struggled with what I needed to write. What would help someone along their way? \u2026and I struggled. I even considered that the Lord had closed the door on my guest blog time, and yet here I am. I hope this meets you or someone you know along the road when you need it most. Thanks to AR for the invite again; it\u2019s always such an honor.<\/p>\n
I was walking with a fellow mom (who I will call P)<\/em> along a beach path recently in Myrtle Beach. I am just getting to know her, as our sons played baseball together this year.<\/p>\n The husbands were taking a large group of the boys from the team to a local water park and most of the moms were spending the day on the beach. She looked at me like I had 3 heads when I said I was looking forward to a day of relaxing. She asked why I didn\u2019t feel guilty for not going nor felt guilty for planning a day of relaxing at the beach.<\/p>\n I said, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t feel guilty.\u201d<\/p>\n I told her P we\u2019re a better mom when we take time for ourselves, read a book, get a pedicure, sit on the beach or have lunch with a friend\u2026 doing these things all help us, not hurt us \u2014 in being a better mom. P told me she has a lot of guilt being a mom, and that her husband really feeds into the guilt. This conversation has been plaguing me for weeks and got me wondering how many moms feel this same way.<\/p>\n When I googled \u201cmom guilt,\u201d 493,000 pages came up! WOW! WOW! WOW!<\/strong><\/p>\n I had no idea this was crippling so many moms. I then saw this quote from author Fay Weldon: \u201cguilt to motherhood is like grapes to wine.\u201d<\/p>\n Webster\u2019s defines \u201cmom guilt\u201d as tendencies a mom has to berate herself and to be judged by others for our child rearing decisions. A poll by Glamour Magazine asked men and women how guilty they felt about working after having kids. I was dumbfounded by the results: 87% of women and 0% of men feel guilty.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s go back to my earlier time I was sharing while at the beach\u2026<\/p>\n A group of us were having fun, enjoying the waves, the sun\u2026 some were napping, some were chatting\u2026 it was a great day. Throughout the day P kept asking if anyone had heard from our spouses and sons\u2026 \u201cDo you think they\u2019re ok?\u2026 Should I be worried that I haven\u2019t heard from them?\u201d<\/em> I reassured her several times that it would be more concerning if we had heard from them.<\/p>\n I could see the struggle inside her on her face. It was sad; she\u2019s believed the mom guilt lie. It\u2019s the lie that says good moms don\u2019t need a break \u2014 good moms are fulfilled solely by the time with their kids; \u201cgood moms _____________ (fill in the blank).\u201d<\/em> Friends, it\u2019s a lie.<\/p>\n Focus on the Family describes taking time for yourself in this way\u2026<\/p>\n Imagine running your car on low gas; it\u2019s always a gamble, right? If you run out then someone has to come rescue you, fill up your car, and that takes away from two people \u2014 where if you had just stopped and filled up, you could’ve kept going. We are just like that car. If we are running our emotional and\/or physical tank on empty, we can\u2019t be the best for our family. We run the risk of running on low gas and that\u2019s when tempers flare, feelings get hurt and meltdowns happen. If we had stopped and taken an hour, an evening, a whole day or even a weekend, we could’ve kept going at our best.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll promise you this: the longer we let our tank run empty, the longer it takes to refill. Small stops of refilling when we’re a little low is much easier than if we let ourselves run bone dry.<\/p>\n I think I\u2019ve become the strange lady in the grocery. When a kid is screaming and the mom is trying to regain control or maybe she\u2019s not and just letting the kid scream, I\u2019ve begun offering encouraging words. Sometimes my words are well received \u2014 sometimes they\u2019re not \u2014 but I\u2019ll keep saying them.<\/p>\n Let me end by saying parenthood is hard, and we\u2019re all in the same kind of boat whether we see it or not.<\/p>\n So be kind; sometimes the sea of parenthood is temporarily smooth and sometimes it\u2019s rowdy and the water is sloshing into the boat. So offer a smile, say a kind word, load a busy mom\u2019s groceries into her cart, be kind to each other, and mostly be kind to yourself.<\/p>\n Respectfully\u2026 <\/p>\n [Photo by Dakota Corbin<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a>]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I struggled this year. I struggled with what I needed to write. What would help someone along their way? \u2026and I struggled. I even considered that the Lord had closed the door on my guest blog time, and yet here I am. I hope this meets you or someone you know along the road when … <\/p>\n
\nAW<\/p>\n