There aren\u2019t too many times in life when I knowingly continue on in something that isn\u2019t a good idea. Ok, granted, there are a few fast food drive-throughs in which I would be better served to suppress an every-now-and-then craving; routinely, however, I find myself re-examining a habit: is it good? \u2026 is it healthy? \u2026 or do I need to change some aspect of my behavior?<\/p>\n
For years, I\u2019ve enjoyed the contact and communication that comes via social media. I\u2019ve been able to catch up and keep in touch with friends in a fairly fast and convenient way \u2014 from my school day besties, peers in Russia and Thailand, to old friends far and new friends near.<\/p>\n
Facebook\u2019s \u201cfriendaversaries\u201d prompt thanksgiving for our enduring connections. Twitter\u2019s tweets keep us current on the high school sports teams back home. And Snapchat and Instagram each make us smile, offering a real-time glimpse in what\u2019s going on in the life of another. Some even add some rather unique and unusual facial features.<\/p>\n
Yet I find myself again examining a somewhat simple idea: is social media good?<\/em><\/p>\n Is it good?<\/em><\/p>\n Assuming we have reasonable boundaries and the outlet becomes not a time-waster, keeping us from tending to all else that needs to get done in our day, are these websites and apps healthy for us to participate in?<\/p>\n The pictures of peonies and pups certainly brighten my day. The sports team shout outs also make me smile.<\/em>\u00a0Truthfully, I even find the daily deluge of pickle posts quite encouraging; while never a fan of the tiny, briny, and (in my semi-humble opinion)<\/em> still slimy cucumber, at least my friends are thinking of me!<\/p>\n But the question of goodness arises beyond the pickles and puppies. It\u2019s when we substitute a thread or a post for authentic conversation \u2014 especially when we\u2019re talking about serious stuff. As one who was exposed to significant conflict growing up, it\u2019s not that I love conflict; it\u2019s more that I believe strongly in handling it well. If we could learn to communicate more respectfully and listen more selflessly in the existence of conflict, I believe we could damper the intensity and avoid much of the relational, collateral damage.<\/p>\n The challenge is that Facebook and Twitter do not do the above; stereotypical participation does not promote respectful communication nor selfless listening. When I utilize my 140 character allowance to opine, for example, that is not dialogue; that is not authentic conversation. It is simply instead a rephrasing of \u201cI just have to say\u201d\u2026 \u201clet me tell you how I feel\u201d<\/em>\u2026 or \u201cthis is how I think.\u201d<\/em> How I feel or think does not require me to respect the feeling or thinking of any other. If there is no need to respect the feeling or thinking of another, it seems a foolish trap that even the intelligent fall into.<\/p>\n Remember the wise words an articulate guest writer shared here two and a half years ago, a friend who decided to make a behavioral change on social media:<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026 So without even knowing it, I learned that I didn\u2019t have to attend every argument I was invited to. I stopped posting political pieces. Stopped commenting for the sake of starting up a fight. I weighed in here and there but I chose my words carefully and bracketed it with things like \u2018respectfully\u2019 and \u2018we don\u2019t all have to agree.’ I became mindful that, for most of my Facebook friends, what I posted was the only definition they would have of me. I don\u2019t speak to many of them face to face. They don\u2019t know how I live my life, that there is more to me than my posts and replies. And I didn\u2019t want that to be their truth about me. I am more than just my political beliefs or my religion or my alma mater (though that one I still have a hard time not defending). I am a sum of all of those things and more\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Authentic conversation helps us know one another deeply and more. And yes, there is more to each of us than our opinions, \u201csides,\u201d and alma maters (Boiler up).<\/em> But when we omit the respectful give-and-take and selfless listening vital to authentic communication, we aren\u2019t getting to know another any more than we already do. We are only hearing ourselves think. That doesn\u2019t seem wise.<\/p>\n So is social media good?<\/p>\n Maybe. Those pickle pics make me laugh.<\/p>\n But my sense is, for most of us, it\u2019s more our behavior that may need to change.<\/p>\n Respectfully\u2026 There aren\u2019t too many times in life when I knowingly continue on in something that isn\u2019t a good idea. Ok, granted, there are a few fast food drive-throughs in which I would be better served to suppress an every-now-and-then craving; routinely, however, I find myself re-examining a habit: is it good? \u2026 is it healthy? … <\/p>\n
\nAR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"