Seventeen years ago, my life changed. Not only did it change, but everything in me was convinced it was changing for the worse.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s be clear; it wasn\u2019t just me who believed that; there was a reason our friends and family cried. Add the doctor on top of that, arriving in the room no less than an hour after our youngest son\u2019s birth, whose first words to us were, \u201cThis must be the saddest day of your whole life.\u201d<\/p>\n
Let that sink in for a minute\u2026 \u201cthe saddest day of your whole life.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n
In addition to the no doubt unintended, perceived gut punch, the doctor left us with a thick packet of info, brochures, statistics, etc., which included a multi-page list of approximately 300+ things that our son was now more likely to have wrong with him.<\/p>\n
Wrong.\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Bad.<\/i><\/p>\n That\u2019s how we perceived it.<\/p>\n Before we get to the main point of today\u2019s post, let\u2019s acknowledge October as Down syndrome Awareness Month \u2014 a totally awesome month \u2014 and offer a brief, supportive shout out to the friends and families that have such a special someone as a member of their family! No doubt many of those in this community are some of the finest people we have ever met. Truly. But I\u2019d like to go a little deeper this day\u2026 in a way that affects us all.<\/p>\n What happens when something <\/i>bad<\/i><\/b> happens to you? Something you truly perceive as <\/i>bad<\/i><\/b>?\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n Does it <\/i>define<\/i><\/b> you?<\/i><\/p>\n Does it <\/i>destroy<\/i><\/b> you?<\/i><\/p>\n Does anything good ever come out of it?<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n Let\u2019s first address the increasingly pervasive \u201cone-size-fits-all\u201d rationale. Sorry, but that doesn\u2019t make much sense to me\u2026 that because you and I have both experienced \u201cthe same kind of thing,\u201d we should react the same way or share the same perspective. I don\u2019t buy it. We are each uniquely and wonderfully made; we are wired differently. Therefore, it makes total sense to me that men, women, adults, children, persons of varied ethnicity and demographic would and could respond in totally different ways. I\u2019d like to see us each give others a little more grace in this area, recognizing that \u201cone-size-fits-all\u201d is more suited for a retail clothing promotion.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n We react differently. That\u2019s ok. Not even the mature nor intelligent respond the same. That is equally ok.<\/p>\n For me, having a child with a cognitive disability \u2014 and knowing that I was going to have to change my expectations immediately<\/i> \u2014 was incredibly hard. Harder still was wrestling with the perception that not only the world \u2014 but also me,<\/i> at the time \u2014 thought this was bad.<\/em><\/p>\n When I pivoted, however, from seeing my challenging circumstance as any doubt regarding who God is and how much he loves me to instead an opportunity to get to know and rely on him more, something changed. I began to see something the world did not \u2014 and perhaps cannot \u2014 always see.<\/p>\n I began to see something other than that perceived as bad.<\/i> I began to see this also uniquely and wonderfully made child\u2026 who would teach me and grow me and stretch me\u2026 who would challenge some of my cultural norms\u2026 who would say things and react in ways I did not\u2026 who helped me learn and quit judging the different\u2026 who knew no fear\u2026 who loved faster\u2026 who was full of hope\u2026 and who taught me the striking difference between intelligence and wisdom. I began to draw nearer to the great big God of the universe \u2014 and then find a strength I otherwise would not have known. What I once saw as bad did not define nor destroy me; it instead, actually strengthened me.<\/p>\n Allow me to never suggest that the bad things are easy. No way. Allow me to also never suggest any of us need to just \u201cget over it.\u201d But let me suggest that the bad things in our life do not need to be lingering sources of anger directed at either self, the world, or those who think differently. Challenging as they are, they can be an opportunity to grow\u2026 if we let them.<\/p>\n Yesterday, as my son and I stood at the bus stop for none other than his 17th birthday, he again requested a long time favorite song. And so at 6:30 in the morning, in a public place, on a semi-busy street, we stood outside, belted it, and danced\u2026 \u201cWhen I see your face, there\u2019s not a thing that I would change, \u2018cause you’re amazing, just the way you are\u2026\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n I see that now\u2026 amazing\u2026<\/i><\/p>\n What an incredible opportunity to grow.<\/p>\n Respectfully\u2026<\/p>\n AR<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Seventeen years ago, my life changed. Not only did it change, but everything in me was convinced it was changing for the worse. Let\u2019s be clear; it wasn\u2019t just me who believed that; there was a reason our friends and family cried. Add the doctor on top of that, arriving in the room no less … <\/p>\n