Fail.
Probs.
Sick.
Swag.
Hater.
Ging.
Rachet.
Photobomb.
Hakuna matata.
Whatever.
‘Kids say the darndest things.’ The question is whether our teens are more “kids” or adults — and whether “darndest” qualifies more as foolish or as wise. One “darnd” thing I’ve heard far too often from these growing young men and women is the colloquial justification that “everybody’s doing it.”
“Everybody’s doing it, Mom…
“He’s doing it. She’s doing it. I should be able to do it, too!”
Seemingly suddenly, society’s evolving standard of morality is dependent upon what everyone else does — hence, the existence of a slippery, (un)scrupulous slope upon which current culture continues to ride. Sometimes it feels like a bit of an ‘adventure land‘ — like riding a roller coaster… hands up… smiles on… the participants unaware of any lurking calamity awaiting at the end of the ride.
Don’t let me be too hard on our teens. It’s not as if this is merely a problem indigenous to their generation. They have watched their parents; they have watched celebrities; they have watched the politicians and elected leaders in the land; they have watched them squabble and base their behavior on what others do. Dare I suggest, they have watched us all a little too well.
Prior to our teens being teens, they’ve watched previous generations ride an often parallel, (un)scrupulous pitch. We may or may not have articulated our actions via the “everyone’s doing it” logic. However, the teens have seen our not-so-subtle “keeping up with the Jones’s” act; they’ve seen us subtly (or not) be continually indignant or stubborn or selfish or even refuse to extend grace — again all based upon the behavior of other people. They’ve even seen us look, act, or even dress a certain way, all motivated by “impression management” — our fairly futile attempts to control the perception others have of us. Further still, in my semi-humble opinion (emphasis on the semi), the youth in this country have seen reasonably intelligent adults discern what’s right or wrong based on other people. Worse yet, they’ve witnessed us actually change what we believe to be right or wrong — based upon other people.
“Eveybody’s doing it, Mom…”
On what do we base what’s right and what’s wrong?
Does it change?
If it continually changes, how can it be wise? … even from reasonably intelligent adults?
From Jan. of 1998 through June of 2000, gifted comedian, Bill Cosby, hosted a comedy series on CBS entitled “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” The premise of the show was that Cosby would ask a kid a question, and that kid — usually between the ages of 3 to 8 — would respond with a “cute” answer. The inherent joy of the show was found in the innocence of the child.
While our teens aren’t quite still children nor quite yet adults, the reality is that their justification for all sorts of beliefs and behaviors may or may not be innocent; we haven’t necessarily always taught them well. The reality also then exists that the articulated justification for their beliefs and behaviors — and the articulated justification for our beliefs and behaviors — is nowhere close to “cute.”
What will we base our belief system upon?
“YOLO!” as the teens sometimes say. You Only Live Once. Yet if we only live once, we better figure the basis for that belief system out.
Respectfully,
AR