intramuralist ™

I have one more thought about the Olympics that just wrapped up. Typically, of course, I have many thoughts. But as I watched the final scheduled event of the XXV Olympic Winter Games, I found myself captivated by more than just the competition.

It was men’s ice hockey. USA vs. Canada, with Canada entering as the slight but solid favorite. In a thrilling finish for Americans (especially those watching early on a Sunday morning), the USA defeated their North American rivals with a winning goal less than two minutes into overtime.

The joy was immediate and unmistakable. Gloves and sticks flew into the air. Teammates raced across the ice toward one another, elated at what they had just accomplished. American gold in this event hadn’t been achieved since the infamous “Miracle on Ice” 46 years, to-the-day earlier. The thrill of victory was obvious, loud, and contagious.

With cheers echoing through the arena — high fives, hugs, hugely wide smiles — officials prepared for the medal ceremony. The joy seemed only to swell as the crowd awaited what would come next.

And that’s where I noticed something that transcended sports.

Three teams were honored. Finland stepped up first, calmly and happily receiving their well-earned bronze after securing it the day before. The Finns’ pride was notable — steady and deserved.

The United States went last. They were gleeful — smiling, laughing, playfully interacting. Special recognition was given to goaltender Connor Hellebuyck for his remarkable saves and to slightly toothless Jack Hughes, the player who scored the iconic overtime goal. As they received their medals, many glanced down at the gold resting on their chests, perhaps in awe. It was a moment of “wow — look what we’ve done!”

But before the Americans were honored, the Canadian team lined up to receive their silver medals. And that’s what struck me most.

Silver signifies second in the world. It represents extraordinary achievement and elite athletic excellence. And yet, in that immediate moment, the Canadians looked anything but honored.

There were no smiles. No playful exchanges. No admiring glance at the medal newly placed around their necks. The collective mood felt far more somber than celebratory, as it was more a  moment of “wow — I can’t believe what we could not do.”

Let me be clear: there is no judgment. It’s simply an observation. In that tender, immediate moment, the deep disappointment of not winning seemed louder than the accomplishment of finishing second in the world. It was disappointment, failure… maybe even shame.

Such is a curious thing. Zig Ziglar often said, “Disappointment is a temporary detour on the road to success.” It aligns with the familiar wisdom that this, too, shall pass. The way a person feels right now is not the way they will or must always feel… no matter how big the moment may be.

So my prayer for the Canadian men’s hockey team — and perhaps for all of us — is that when the moment is no longer so raw, when the cameras have turned away and the arena has emptied, the dense fog of deep disappointment clears.

And when it does, may there be recognition — not of what wasn’t, but of what was.

Second in the world.

What a remarkable thing.

Respectfully…

AR

As the XXV Olympic Winter Games come to a close, a few things we will be certain to remember… although first, there may be some to forget…

One hopes to forget those unfortunate moments of controversy… such as the unusual question regarding male ski jumpers and how they allegedly used a few extra bodily injections to create a bit of a crotch sail, improving their aerodynamics… 

… or the heated dispute between Canada and Sweden, in which the Canadian curler was accused of “double-touching” the stone (illegally touching the stone after releasing it). While denying cheating despite circulating video that appeared to show otherwise, his expletive-laden response wasn’t so helpful in making him either believable or even respected… 

… but also the discrepancy in the ice dancer scoring, in which the French judge scored the French dancers unusually higher than the heavy American favorites, even though errors were obvious and he was an outlier of a judge…

It wasn’t just the controversy that we wish not to remember. There were also some notably lamentable performances, starting with American Lindsay Vonn, who had most of the world cheering for a hopeful Olympic comeback at age 41, but who then crashed only 13 seconds into the women’s downhill skiing event…

… there was also the men’s skater, heavily favored to win gold, Ilia Malinin — aka the self-named “Quad God” — who fell multiple times in the free skate, finishing a shocking 8th. Unlike the Canadian curler, no less, he was sensed to have handled the agony of defeat both respectfully and well.

More fun to remember are the following…

… American Alysa Liu, who was thought to maybe be only the second or third best female representing the USA in her sport, turning heads and axels while winning the women’s figure skating gold, jumping joyfully up and down, marking the first U.S. gold in the event since 2002. Her joy was contagious…

… or Norway’s Johannes Høsflot Klæbo, who was simply amazing. He achieved what many would consider impossible — winning an unprecedented six gold medals in six different events — and prompting us all to join in the family celebration, when he embraced his 82-year-old grandfather and lifelong coach after the 50km victory. What another great joy.

But perhaps what this Olympic observer will most both celebrate and remember is the story of Team USA bobsledder Elana Meyers Taylor. At 41, she captured her first-ever Olympic gold in the women’s monobob (no doubt a fun word to say).

The best part, though, wasn’t the gold medal nor her age nor how she is now the most decorated US female bobsledder in history. 

The best part — the most memorable part — was watching the reaction and joy of her family…

Elana is married to former US bobsledder Nic Taylor. They have two sons, Nico, who is 5, and Noah, who is 3. Both children are deaf, and Nico has Down syndrome. The boys were both present at the 2026 games, watching their mother compete in the Olympics for the first time.

After finishing the race, Elana dropped to her knees and immediately signed “Mommy won!” to her boys.

Noah was spotted in the stands signing “Mom” and “champion.” 

Hugs were soon shared all around.

With Elana often describing her sons as her “biggest motivators,” when we think of what’s most memorable — coupled by our desire to focus on all that is good and right and true — how sweet to remember the story of Elana Meyers Taylor and her inspiring, most beautiful family.

Way to go, Elana… way to go…

AR

Jeffrey Epstein was a wealthy financier accused of horrific crimes involving the sexual exploitation of minors. His legal troubles became public in Florida in the mid-2000s. In 2008, he entered into a controversial non-prosecution agreement, pleaded guilty to state charges involving a minor, and avoided federal prosecution at the time. That deal has rightly faced intense public scrutiny ever since.

In July 2019, Epstein was arrested in New York on federal sex-trafficking charges. A month later, he died in jail while awaiting trial. The medical examiner ruled his death a suicide, yet public debate has continued; the circumstances left many people with questions as to whether the death was actually self-inflicted.

Now the focus has shifted to what are often called “the Epstein files.” That phrase covers a wide range of materials: court records, flight logs, depositions, contact books, investigative files, and documents connected to related prosecutions, including that of British socialite and Epstein associate, Ghislaine Maxwell, who was convicted in 2021 of sex trafficking and conspiracy.

These files have indeed become a political football. At times it seems each side raises the issue when it’s convenient. My aim, no less, isn’t to accuse or defend any person or party. It’s to seek the truth — carefully, patiently and resisting the lure to make the uncertain certain.

So I sit with a few questions:

Given the terrible harm Epstein caused, was his case handled the way it would have been if he weren’t wealthy and well-connected?

Were victims truly heard and protected from the beginning?

Across the Obama, Trump, and Biden administrations, what has kept the full set of files from being released?

Are documents still being withheld, and can the reasons be clearly explained?

How do we pursue transparency without causing further harm to victims?

What needs to happen next to ensure accountability and rebuild public trust?

There is no public evidence that a single administration fully possessed a complete, releasable file and intentionally suppressed it for partisan gain. At the same time, critics across the political spectrum argue that greater transparency could have been pursued.

Too often, discussion of this case becomes a partisan weapon. It is framed as proof of corruption tied to one ideology or another. Yet Epstein’s social and financial circles crossed political and cultural lines. If this were simply a Democrat or Republican problem, the story likely would have broken cleanly along those lines long ago. It hasn’t.

There are things we know. Epstein ran a network that exploited underage girls. His 2008 plea deal was unusually lenient. He associated with powerful and prominent individuals.

There are also things we don’t know. Whether additional crimes were committed by others but never charged. Whether all relevant evidence has been fully investigated. Whether any institutions failed in ways not yet disclosed.

Speculation fills the gaps. But speculation is not proof.

There is documented wrongdoing. There are documented associations. There are also unproven allegations and real uncertainty. Holding those distinctions matters.

May we be people who seek truth without fear — and who resist the temptation to turn unanswered questions into settled conclusions, however compelling that may feel.

Respectfully…

AR

I hope as this blog is posted, it becomes irrelevant. I pray in the time this is written, she is found. I can’t imagine…

I can’t imagine what it would be like to have your 84 year old mother missing, to have no idea where she is, to believe she was kidnapped, to not know if she’s alive and well or even ok for that matter…

I can’t imagine the grief, the uncertainty and so much more…

What I appreciate amidst the heartache is the collective, national sadness. What an awful thing to not know where Nancy Guthrie is.

Nancy is the mother of “Today” co-anchor Savannah Guthrie. 

She was reported missing on February 1st. The FBI and local authorities are investigating thousands of tips as we speak. As of this writing, authorities were searching for a male suspect seen on surveillance video, described as 5’9” to 5’10” with an average build, wearing a dark backpack.

Nancy has long been known to her friends and family for her resilience and faith. 

Interestingly, there is another prominent Nancy Guthrie also known for her faith, who is a well-known author, teacher and encourager, but is not the daughter of a well-liked celebrity.

While again, knowing they are not the same, I am struck by some of the author Guthrie’s words and how relevant they are today…

“Trusting God when the miracle does not come, when the urgent prayer gets no answer, when there is only darkness—this is the kind of faith God values perhaps most of all. This is the kind of faith that can be developed and displayed only in the midst of difficult circumstances. This is the kind of faith that cannot be shaken because it is the result of having been shaken.”

“Lord, sometimes the possibility of coming catastrophe can make our family terribly afraid. We’re tempted to ask you only to protect us from difficulty, but what we really want is to be a family who lives by faith in the midst of the worst of circumstances.”

“But here’s what grieving people wish others would understand: grief is incredibly, relentlessly lonely. It really makes a huge difference to be reminded that we are not forgotten, that our loss is on the radar of people around us.”

“Peace is a gift of God, but we prepare ourselves to receive this gift as we pray about everything, cultivate gratitude, and refuse to surrender to worry. You can emerge from your days of sorrow with a heart that has been softened to the Spirit of God—what a beautiful and profitable experience that will be! Or you can allow your heart to be hardened by bitterness and resentment toward God, and rejection of his peace and grace—what a dark place that will take you to . . . a place far away from the loving embrace of God… Heart Mender, take this broken heart of mine and make it soft and sensitive to your Spirit. I want to stay close to you and soft toward you.”

Thinking of both Nancy’s now… trying to be hopeful… God be with us all.

Soberly…

AR

“Everything’s a conversation,” meaning, we can talk about it. Hang around me long enough, you’re bound to hear said statement. There is nothing we can’t talk about. That doesn’t mean the exchange will be easy nor simple nor even all that pleasant. What it does mean, though, is that we value one another enough to graciously interact, listen well and work to understand what the other is thinking and feeling.

One of the reasons it seems we are currently collectively struggling to solve the current immigration issues is because we are unable to have a conversation. And because we can’t actually talk about it, we are trapped by political paralysis — a scenario in which nothing is solved and the rhetorical temps only continue to rise.

So let’s bring down the temp. Let’s converse. As long advocated here, the best conversations often begin with open-ended, thought-provoking questions. Such an approach invites curiosity and reflection. Such an approach also discourages any semblance of the always unattractive, fleetingly persuasive, hell and brimstone approach. No wise conversation relies on fear, threats nor vulgarity. Wise conversation motivates instead through understanding and encouragement. 

What are the questions we should be asking and answering in regard to national security, our borders, ICE and immigration? 

Let’s Try to Actually Solve This

1. When we say “border security,” what do we actually mean — and how would we know if we’re getting it right?
2. What should immigration policy balance at the same time: safety, fairness, economic need, and basic humanity — and where do those goals collide?
3. Where have both parties leaned on slogans instead of solutions?

National Security (Without the Hype)

4. What border-related security risks are real, and which ones get more airtime than evidence?
5. How do we improve screening and vetting without treating every migrant like a threat?
6. What do the actual crime and security data show — and where are we still guessing?
7. How well do national security agencies, DHS, and border enforcement actually work together?

Managing the Border Like a System

8. What mix of walls, technology, personnel, and law changes actually works best per dollar spent?
9. If apprehension numbers aren’t the right scorecard, what is?
10. What policies failed under both Democrat and Republican presidents — and why?
11. How do we stop governing the border in “crisis mode” every few years?

ICE & Interior Enforcement

12. What should ICE’s job be, and where has that mission gotten blurry?
13. How do we enforce the law consistently while still protecting due process?
14. What kind of oversight would build trust without tying enforcement in knots?
15. Given limited resources, who should ICE realistically prioritize?

Fixing the Immigration System

16. How can we revamp legal immigration so fewer people feel forced to cross illegally?
17. What role should work visas play in easing border pressure and helping the economy?
18. How much of the current mess is caused by massive backlogs and slow processing?
19. How do we protect real asylum seekers while discouraging abuse of the system?

Accountability & Moving Forward

20. When immigration policy fails, who actually owns that failure — Congress, the White House, or both?
21. What clear metrics should be used to judge whether a policy is working?
22. How do we write laws that don’t fall apart every time global conditions change?
23. What compromises cross a line by clearly harming security or human dignity?
24. Where do most Americans already agree, even if politicians don’t?
25. If we were serious, what would a bipartisan 10-year plan look like — and how would we keep it from collapsing on contact with politics?

Just asking questions, friends… and of course, attempting to foster authentic, sincere, solution-oriented conversation.

Respectfully…

AR

Here we are once more with one of the best things that unites us. With a record-breaking 213.1 million U.S. adults expected to tune into Super Bowl LX at some point, today’s game has our attention.

Roughly 121.1 million of us plan to attend or host a party.

Total spending on food, drinks and decor is expected to reach an eye-opening $20.2 billion. 

What else? Why pay attention?

One key driver is the halftime show, this year featuring global icon, Bad Bunny. Latino viewership is expected to thus increase, with many curious as to what the talented Puerto Rican superstar will actually sing and say. Will it be remembered along with the other memorable mid-game moments? …

• Lady Gaga… diving from the top of Houston’s NRG Stadium to start the illustrious show…
• Prince… playing “Purple Rain” in the rain in Miami in one of the best performances ever…
• Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake… teaching the whole world simultaneously the definition of “wardrobe malfunction”…

And then there are the commercials. According to CBS News, approximately 48% of us are tuning in specifically for the commercials. 

NBC, the game’s network host, sold out of all commercial spots, with 30-second ad slots priced at $10 million. The purported lineup is said to heavily focus on AI, celebrity appearances and pharmaceuticals, with many most anticipating Budweiser’s “American Icons” and Pepsi Zero Sugar’s “The Choice.” Will they be remembered along with the other memorable advertisements? …

• Apple’s “1984”… spoofing George Orwell’s acclaimed dystopian novel, showing a runner sprinting past rows of entranced viewers staring at a Big Brother–style figure on a massive screen. She smashes the screen with a sledgehammer, followed by a voiceover declaring, “On January 24th, Apple Computer will introduce Macintosh. And you’ll see why 1984 won’t be like 1984”… one of the most memorable ads ever…
• Coke’s “Hey Kid, Catch!”… highlighting the many clever Coca-Cola marketing geniuses through the years, showing a different side to the then ferocious Steelers defensive end, “Mean Joe” Greene, as a small boy offers Joe his Coke after a difficult game to cheer him up. “Want my Coke? Really. You can have it.” As the kid turns to exit, Greene downs the Coke, calls the boy, and tosses him his jersey…
• Volkswagon’s “The Force”… introducing a miniature Darth Vader during the 2011 Super Bowl, and the moment quickly became unforgettable. The ad shows the young villain wandering his house, attempting to use the Force to no avail. But when his father pulls into the driveway in a Volkswagen Passat, the child’s powers suddenly appear to work — with a little hidden help from Dad…

[Not to omit Budweiser’s Clydesdales and the decades of athletes who’ve declared on Super Bowl Sunday their intention to soon head to Disneyworld. Honorable mention goes to Budweiser’s infamous, simple question still heard today: “Whassup?”]

As for this Sunday… 

Super Bowl LX is being played at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California, home of the 49ers, and it’s a milestone moment: the 60th Super Bowl and the second time this stadium has hosted since Super Bowl 50.

The matchup? Seahawks vs. Patriots, a straight-up rematch of Super Bowl XLIX, but with a totally new cast. There are indeed some great stories. Seahawk QB Sam Darnold, now on his fifth team in 8 years, is finally “the guy” for an NFL team, while Patriot Drake Maye, in only year two, has people whispering about early-Brady vibes in New England. Note that Patriot coach Mike Vrabel becomes the first person to reach a Super Bowl as both a player and head coach for the same franchise.

There’s a huge game, so many stories, and yes, so much more to watch. That’s why we tune in. Can’t wait for those commercials…

Respectfully…

AR

I haven’t always had words for what I think. Surprising, perhaps, for this long time current events blogger. But I try not to just react because everyone’s reacting. I try to say what I mean and mean what I say and communicate with authenticity. I don’t want to jump on any bandwagon nor stay off a perceived bandwagon due to any semblance of a sunk cost fallacy. You know the one: this idea that I’ve spent so much time and energy holding on to a mindset or believing a certain way is right that I can’t quit now. We get so passionate… so engrained in what we’re thinking. It can be hard to change… hard to consider other perspective… hard to learn and grow and see areas where we may not be so wise.

What is it that allows us to learn and grow and see those areas where we may not be so wise?

Areas that need changing or refining — areas of which we may be unaware?

What do we need to enable us to pause as opposed to just react? Or to not simply jump (or refuse to jump) on a bandwagon?

How about for simply wise reactions? Discernment?

Friends, there is one concept all comes back to time and time again. There is one thing that answers all of the above.

Allow us to first identify what it means…

• Having a modest view of your own importance
• Recognizing your limitations
• Valuing others above yourself
• Valuing others’ perspective
• Being free from arrogance and pride while maintaining quiet confidence
• Understanding your strengths and weaknesses without feeling superior
• Being receptive to new ideas and feedback
• Having inner strength and self-assurance without constantly needing to prove yourself
• Listening more than talking
• Giving credit to others
• Admitting mistakes
• Making fun of yourself
• Being grateful and compassionate
• Serving others without self-seeking
• Thinking of yourself less
• Accurately evaluating your accomplishments
• Being willing to submit to God’s leading and learn from him
• Reducing defensiveness
• Fostering personal growth and connection
• Remaining teachable, knowing that you will never have all the answers

And also what it does not mean…

• Meekness or weakness
• Thinking less of yourself
• Denying reality
• Bragging
• Being reserved or unopinionated

What it is, friends, is humility. It’s why I struggle with being a full fan of any politician or party — often a star or celebrity, too. I simply see too little humility. 

It’s not that this blogger is always so humble. Of course not.  To be human is to be imperfect.

But to be human is also a call to grow, to pursue what’s wisest and best; hence, my prayer is that humility would be an active pursuit for us all.

Respectfully…

AR

How sad I was recently to read the public post from former Nebraskan Senator and President of the University of Florida, Ben Sasse, who announced the following: 

“Friends, This is a tough note to write, but since a bunch of you have started to suspect something, I’ll cut to the chase: Last week I was diagnosed with metastasized, stage-four pancreatic cancer, and am gonna die. Advanced pancreatic is nasty stuff; it’s a death sentence. But I already had a death sentence before last week too — we all do. I’m blessed with amazing siblings and half-a-dozen buddies that are genuinely brothers. As one of them put it, ‘Sure, you’re on the clock, but we’re all on the clock.’ Death is a wicked thief, and the bastard pursues us all. Still, I’ve got less time than I’d prefer…”

In 2018, Sasse wrote a book the Intramuralist believed to be spot on and brilliant. It’s entitled “Them: Why We Hate Each Other — and How to Heal.” In it he argues how America’s current state of extreme political polarization is not primarily a political crisis, but rather, a byproduct of a profound loneliness epidemic. 

His point is that the erosion of “local tribes” — faith-based groups, neighborhood associations and service clubs — has left Americans feeling isolated. This isolation then activates physical pain responses in the brain, which often manifest as anger and resentment. No doubt in the 8 years since publication, we’ve all seen increased anger and resentment. One could look at the last few weeks alone.

Sasse maintains that to fill the void left by the community collapse, people have turned to partisan media. Sasse cleverly calls this “polititainment,” which is no doubt alive and well. This model and these partisans thrive on stoking outrage and “nutpicking” — plucking extreme examples from the opposing so-called side to justify painting them as a representative enemy. Here he suggests that hosts such as Sean Hannity and Rachel Maddow aren’t attempting to inform you; they want to make you mad. Such feeds the rage politics so in play today. It also highlights how journalism has eradicated the distinction between news and opinion.

Realizing its contemporary relevance, especially this week, allow us to share more nuggets of wisdom from “Them”…

“Right now partisan tribalism is statistically higher than at any point since the Civil War. Why? It’s certainly not because our political discussions are more important. It’s because the local, human relationships that anchored political talk have shriveled up. Alienated from each other, and uprooted from places we can call home, we’re reduced to shrieking.”

“Lacking meaningful attachments, people are finding a perverse bond in at least sharing a common enemy.”

“There is a deep and corrosive tribal impulse to act as if “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” But sometimes the enemy of your enemy is just a jackass.”

“Many of our television hosts are modern-day carnival barkers. We get dopamine, adrenalin, and oxytocin all at once. It’s an adult video game. But instead of expertly separating us from our wallets, they’re separating us from things much more valuable. Our time, our sense of perspective, and our judgment. And they are separating us from each other.”

“Freedom depends on an informed citizenry, and an informed citizenry depends on serious journalism that takes facts seriously and grapples with those facts honestly. But good journalism is less and less likely when there are fewer and fewer readers with an appetite for something more than titillation. Producers and consumers work in tandem—for better or for worse. Right now, the pool of trust that once made that relationship constructive has all but dried up.”

“When one half of the nation demonizes the other half, tendrils of resentment reach out and strangle whatever charitable impulses remain in us.” 

“We want an America with free speech, religion, press, assembly, and protest – even for those we disagree with.”

Thanks, Ben. You’ve got less time than we prefer, too.

Respectfully…

AR

Oh, friends… there is a heaviness so many of us share. What’s happened in Minnesota has been awful.

Let me be clear. I believe in secure national borders and prudent local law enforcement. I believe in both addressing crime and applying compassion. I believe that policies enacted by administrations past and present have contributed significantly, negatively to the current situation. The Biden administration did not effectively filter out criminals from immigration; the Trump administration is not effectively applying compassion to those who are not illegal. Much has led us here.

Thankfully, it seems as if federal and state authorities have realized the need to work together. Such is necessary, as our political debates and rhetorical temperatures are impeding solution.

So in the meantime, what can the rest of us do?

Allow me to share some wise words from a longtime colleague and friend, Rev. Dr. Alvin Sanders. Alvin speaks to those who follow Jesus, meaning primarily they desire to love God and love those He created. Many fit in that category of followers. Alvin then encourages us to let scripture and proximity be the number one directors of our current response [note: all emphasis mine}…

“… We are called to love God fully and others selflessly. Our faith shows in our care for one another, our compassion for those in poverty, and our pursuit of justice for the oppressed. Rooted in the Bible, strengthened by the Spirit, and sustained in prayer, we follow Christ by sharing and demonstrating the gospel with our words and lives.

We believe the church’s response to immigration must be shaped by Scripture and meaningful relationships, not by political rhetoric or media narratives…

Many of those we serve are immigrants whose lives and churches are deeply affected by current federal policies. Our response must be rooted in a biblical, compassionate understanding of immigration. Only by returning to foundational Christian principles can we offer a credible public witness and address this crisis faithfully.

It starts with moral clarity. When Scripture and proximity, not political talking points, shape our response, we’re less divided by partisanship. People find relief knowing their convictions stem from faith and experience, not media outrage. That clarity eases anxiety and internal conflict.

We also need freedom from fear-based narratives. Political discourse on immigration often stirs fear. Scripture and proximity foster courage and trust. We gain emotional freedom, leading to less reactivity, greater discernment, and steadier responses to complex issues.

Proximity to the vulnerable spiritually shapes our souls. It is impossible to be close and not be spiritually formed in one way or another. Those who are closest often grow in humility, compassion, and dependence on God, not just as ideals, but as practiced virtues…”

My desire is to grow in humility, compassion and dependence on God — not just as something I intangibly believe in, but in something I practically, personally, abundantly apply.

May we each strive to love all people well… challenging as that may sometimes be.

Soberly…

AR

I’m not quite sure how to wisely deal with all the expectations around silence — who should speak, when they should speak, and how loudly they should do it. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Albert Einstein echoed a similar concern when he said, “The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”

Those quotes matter. They should challenge us. But I also wonder if we sometimes apply them too quickly and too narrowly.

We observe other people and assume they are being silent. But maybe they aren’t silent at all — maybe they’re just responding differently or not as loudly as we are. Maybe we assume silence equals doing nothing, when in reality it often means doing something quieter, slower, or less visible. Not all responses come with a virtual megaphone.

I’m reminded of the words of American writer Elbert Hubbard: “He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” There’s truth there. If someone can’t make room for how another person processes or responds, they probably won’t hear them even when they do speak.

I was also struck by the recent words of contemporary writer Matthew Royse, who named what he called “the uncomfortable truth no one wants to hear”:

“We live in a world that rewards noise.
Social media has led us to believe that every thought deserves an audience, every opinion requires a platform, and silence equals irrelevance.

But the smartest people… fostering genuine relationships…
They have mastered something the rest of us haven’t. They know when to shut up.”

In other words, the most successful people don’t win by talking more. They win by knowing when not to.

There is, in fact, a time to speak and a time not to. I remember sharing my concerns about the primary presidential candidates in 2016, 2020 and again in 2024. Multiple people told me it was important that I only express concern about one of the candidates, because the other was “the lesser of two evils.” I’ll admit, that logic confused me; the lesser of two evils is still, so-to-speak, evil.

My assessment wasn’t that Biden, Clinton, Harris and/or Trump were evil people. It was that each had serious-but-different competency flaws. Given that reality, it makes sense to me that people would disagree — not only on what was right or wrong, but on how to respond, and even whether to speak at all.

Which brings me back to this: there are moments when speaking is necessary and moments when silence is the wiser response. Neither is a failure of conviction. Too often, we judge others by the volume or timing of their words, assuming that those who don’t speak like we do must not care as deeply or think as clearly. In reality, restraint can come from reflection, humility, prayer or a genuine desire to listen before reacting.

In polarized times, it makes complete sense that wise people would respond differently. Some feel called to speak plainly and immediately. Others choose patience, quiet action or careful timing. Wisdom does not always look the same, and integrity is not measured by how loudly or publicly it is expressed. Making room for different responses isn’t weakness — it’s an acknowledgment that discernment takes many forms, especially in complicated and emotionally charged moments.

Respectfully,
AR