[From Guest Writer #1 in our annual summer series…]
You know that moment when someone face lights up in recognition, leans in and starts animatedly talking to someone else? This is the witnessing of someone being seen. Not seen in “yeah, that’s someone I know”, but really seen on a deeper level. Feeling understood and partnered with. This is the collective “me too” experience.
We see it at sporting events and concerts, religious and cultural ceremonies. It is the cheer when a touchdown or goal is made, when the beloved band steps out onto the stage or when two moms lock exhausted eyes over their children’s heads at the playground. It is the feeling of being not just seen but understood. I believe we crave it in our deepest well as a human being. We are made for relationship. Made for the connection to something beyond ourselves. It helps us feel a sense of belonging.
Why else would people spend exorbitant amounts of money on tickets, merchandise, lodging and transportation just to bear witness to an event? They want to BE THERE. To talk about it, to be a part of the adventure. Whether the thing is a favorite authors book signing or the Super Bowl is irrelevant.
I believe that we are woven throughout our DNA to feel a sense of belonging and it seems that this need is growing even stronger in our desire to catalog and categorize those that are part of US and those that are part of THEM. We seem to have begun to careen down a path of neurosis when someone does not share our particular proclivity toward an event, thought or belief system.
When did we stop being curious with each other? Wanting to know more about another person’s experience, culture or belief system? As a society evolves it tends to move toward a greater level of emotional maturity and inclusion but recently this has shifted into a direction of away, apart, against.
How do we remember that we all are, first and foremost, human beings of the same species? People who laugh and sneeze and thirst and squint? How do we remember the collective experience to which we already belong?
Maybe we begin by remembering things that seem to ignite the collective experience. I encourage you to keep this going and share it with others so that we can find commonalities in the everyday. I’ll start. Here goes:
The smells of
Hot coffee
Gut grass
Gasoline (just me?)
The top of a baby’s head
Honeysuckle
Crayons
The sights of
Fireworks
Sunrises
Sunsets
Smiles
Mountain ranges
Waterfalls
Snow falling
The sounds of
Belly laughs
Wind chimes
Jazz music
Thunderstorms
“I love you”
Whistling
Cheers of an enthusiastic crowd
The Feel of
The fur of a contented pet on your lap
Cool cotton on a hot summer day
Warm towels just out of the dryer
Someone stroking your hair
Holding hands
Bear hugs
The taste of
Crispy fries straight out of the fryer
Hot fudge sundae
A peach still warm from the sun
A tomato with juice that runs down your chin
Flaky pie crust (the edge is best)
These are just a few that connect each other to the collective experience. I encourage each of you to share this and ask those around you for more “me too” experiences that we can share and use for connection and well, for love. Which is the whole point of everything.
Respectfully…
NS