Category: Current Event

One of the things I most love about this time of year is that the madness isn’t really madness. While it’s oft crazy amid the rampant upsets and improbable three point shots, it also happens to be one of the best, authentic celebrations of difference and diversity.

We root for all sorts of teams, regardless of what we have in common…

We cheer for the good story, regardless of who they represent…

And we openly admire ability, even when it’s on the other team.

Oh, how fun is March Madness!

In this year’s field of 68, with 4 having to “play their way in,” we see all sorts of people groups, animal representations and creative monikers. Some stand out more than others…

We start with the Aztecs and both of the Aggies. I do always wonder what an Aggie is exactly.

Then come the Ursidae, otherwise known as the bear family via the Bears, Bruins and Grizzlies. Be sure not to confuse them with the feline family portal that the Panthers, pair of Wildcats, all 3 Cougar teams and 4 Tiger teams represent. 

If you’re wondering (as I was), the Wolverines are members of the family Mustelidae; interestingly, a most minor Google search will reveal that their scientific animal name is Gulo gulo, meaning “glutton.” This, too, includes the Badgers, meaning Michigan and Wisconsin have more in common than they may like.

While we’re on the animals, let’s add a few more… there are 2 Rams; both they and the Bisons hail from the family Bovidae.

And the reptiles… the Gators seem dominant this year, but in their bracket are also the far-more-than-amphibious Terrapins. For the record (mostly because I simply find it entertaining), a Terrapin is “a small edible turtle.” Hoping no one actually eats them on the court.

Let’s not, however, forget the fowl… the Bluejays, Cardinals and Jayhawks… not to be outdone by the Ducks, Eagles and Golden Eagles. And Seahawks? What’s a Seahawk? It’s not a real bird, friends.

Other animals in this year’s tournament? Dogs bark via the Huskies, Terriers and 6 sets of Bulldogs. There are horses and cows and Longhorns and Sooners. Still we find the Hornets and Razorbacks… can’t say I’m a fan of either.

Then come the weather fronts, which always delight me — this year represented by the Cyclones and Red Storm. Colorful monikers follow — the Crimson Tide, Red Flash, Red Raiders and Blue Devils. Sorry, I can’t root for the devil no matter what color he shows up as.

The regal reps are also interesting, from the Colonials and Commodores to the Tritons and Trojans… in addition to the ethnically-identified Illini, Gaels, and 2 sets of Spartans.

Bravery, too, abounds in the tournament — or at least it’s projected in the Mavericks and Musketeers. I have a place in my heart for the Rebels, as well… as long as they know when to fight and when to congratulate the other team.

Also interesting are the Tarheels and (my beloved) Boilermakers. Did you know that each of their names were originally designed to be derogatory? Seems like their success on the court has long surpassed any sustaining insult.

Somewhere in here should be the Cowboys, Mountaineers and Volunteers; each seems both respectful and respected.

But our final shout out for this year’s tourney goes to the small but mighty Lobos, Lopes and Zips; it’s just fun to say their names. (Did you know that the Zips hail from the “Rubber Capital of the World”?)

Love the diversity, underdogs and healthy competition. Love, too, when we can all celebrate the same thing. Indeed… let the madness begin!

Respectfully…

AR

And then there was this… allow us to share as factually as possible…

A little less than 2 weeks ago, at the Virginia State High School League indoor track and field state championships, in the girls’ 4 x 200m relay final, Brookfield High junior Kaelen Tucker was rounding a corner during the second leg. The competition was close.

She is originally behind I.C. Norcom High School senior Alaila Everett. When Tucker passes Everett, the stereotypical, by-your-side rhythmic swinging motion of the baton changes, wherein Everett instead pulls the baton behind her back, lifts it, and proceeds to strike Tucker on the head in the lane next to her. (See entire video HERE.) Tucker would fall to the ground, soon to be diagnosed with a concussion and possible skull fracture. Everett’s team was quickly disqualified.

As the video went viral last week, Alaila Everett was charged with one count of assault and battery, in the City of Lynchburg’s Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court.   

There are multiple angles with which to approach the incident; let us begin with the range of reaction…

… shock, dismay, speechlessness. Granted, some have not been speechless, using their words to demean, saying some awful, terrible things. 

Note, also, Everett insists it was an accident. 

She said that their proximity prompted her to lose her balance, turn her body, pump her arms, and inadvertently hit Tucker. Interviewing with multiple news sources, Everett expounds upon why it was an unfortunate accident:

”My community knows my character… they know I’m not like that… I can admit from the video it does look purposeful, but I know my intentions, and I would never hit somebody on purpose because of jealousy… I would never harm anybody. I’m not a fighter. I’m not even confrontational. I wouldn’t even do that on purpose.”

Some, therefore, have used to their words to defend…

Said Everett’s mother, “My baby didn’t do it. I know who I raised…”

Said the local NAACP President, “She is not an attacker. Alaila is an honor student at Norcom High School. We are not going to sit back and allow the criminal justice system to define her.”

After being served with the assault charge, a public rally was held late last week to reiterate Everett’s innocence.

What a terrible situation.  

Allow us, no less, to share two more angles that we believe to be significant.

First, sometimes it seems we craft this insulated idea that either we or another is incapable of doing something really wrong or bad… “There is no way they could do that… that’s not possible… I know them..”

Friends, with sincere, all due respect, that makes no sense to me. We may have the most wonderful credentials, full of honors and accolades, but given the wrong circumstances at the right time in an unhealthy, emotional headspace — something we are indeed each capable of — bad things could happen. Are they likely? No. Could they happen? Yes. Are we each capable of doing the shocking and unspeakable? Absolutely.

Secondly, the question here is intent. None of us know what was inside the head of Alaila Everett at that moment; none of us know what her emotional headspace was like. Not her parents, not her opponent, not the head of the local NAACP. I understand the decision to believe her. After watching the video multiple times, I also understand the decision not to. The reality is, whatever we each decide, we cannot know with certainty.

A trusted friend encouraged me years ago to resist the urge to make the uncertain certain. That’s not always easy. It’s also not very convenient. Still it’s oft the wisest thing to do.

Respectfully…

AR

We each have opportunity to learn from all things, from likely and unlikely sources. It depends most on if we are open to learning.

There’s a long repeated biblical story, that whether I believed in the word or not, challenges me to the core. I pray there’s never a day that I go unchallenged by the account; if so, my strong sense is it is me who is impervious to the learning.

The story goes something like this…

Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

Allow us to briefly acknowledge the significant components of the story…

A woman had done something wrong; there was no debate that adultery was wrong.

A crowd had gathered; that means everyone’s actions would be seen by someone else… perhaps a tribe in some ways that all thought alike. No doubt crowds tend to egg each other on, often ramping up emotion and activity.

The crowd attempted to egg on the perceived arbiter of truth in this situation… But what she did was wrong! There is no dispute! How will she be punished?!

In wise judgment, there was calm.

And then it was said… if you have done no wrong, go ahead… punish her… be loud… make it a public spectacle… It’s insightful how once again it’s poignantly clear we are loudest when we believe ourselves clean from the crime. We point fast fingers at those who have done wrong in areas we feel we are absolved, ignoring the places where we have been foolish, fallacious or illicit…

… actually forgetting those places exist.

And here’s the thing. Sometimes that’s been me. I have said some things I’d like to take back — even this week. The errors of my ways, so-to-speak, are not just nice neat, cleaned up stories from my youth. The errors of my ways occur even now.

So allow me to close with two outstanding truths — and why this account is so challenging whether we are Jesus followers or not…

There was no question the woman was wrong; there was no debate. The crowd was right; she was wrong. Note, too, that as the crowd dispersed, she was compassionately called to change her behavior and inherent line of thinking.

But what’s also true based on the wisdom revealed, is that I will never be capable of throwing that first stone, that rock of condemnation, if you will, whether physically or verbally. I can’t do so unless I ignore the equally existent, imperfect parts of me.

That’s the reality we must grapple with now, if we are willing to learn.

Respectfully…

AR

BUMBLE, bramble, which came first, sir
Eggs or chickens? Who can tell?
I’ll never believe that the first egg burst, sir,
Before its mother was out of her shell.

— By children’s author Mary Mapes Dodge in 1875

Long before Dodge came the contemplation of Aristotle, thought to be the first to publicly ponder the perplexity of which came first: the chicken or the egg.

As he wrote in his Historia Animalum (aka “History of Animals):

“If there was a first man, he must have been born without father or mother — which is repugnant to nature. For there cannot have been a first egg to give rise to birds, nor can there have been a first bird that gave rise to eggs, for a bird comes from an egg.”

As noted by Aristotle’s struggles, there has been a centuries long lack of consensus. Chickens hatch eggs but also come out of eggs. So which happened first? 

The root of the paradox is that it’s difficult to determine the origin of something. We may have theories as to how something has originated, but theories are inexact and open to interpretation. Interpretation can indeed be subjective.

So why in the world would a current events blog share a post on an ancient paradox?

What value is there in discussing this here?

Let me humbly attempt to articulate why this topic seemingly fits well here today…

Chickens are intelligent animals. They learn from each other and are believed to be decently self-aware. Noting numbers over 33 billion, the birds outnumber the human population on the planet. They are a fascinating fowl, and not only that, but they are an extremely popular food choice, especially in that they are an affordable protein source that can be prepared in all sorts of ways. They have great value.

Eggs vary pending the species. Their color, shape and structure come in all sorts of forms. Besides carrying a future, living, breathing animal, eggs have so many benefits for humans — brain health, heart health, eye health, muscle growth and repair, immune system support, weight management and more. There are so many benefits.

The bottom line is that both the chicken and the egg are distinct. They are real. No one doubts what they are nor their existence. Hence, in a conclusion that may frustrate trivia game lovers, it doesn’t matter which of the two came first. It changes nothing. The chicken and the egg can still be acknowledged for what they are.

The reason we write this post is that recently, we’ve been acknowledging significant impudent behavior on all sides of all sorts of subjects in the socio-economic, political sphere. We’ve pointed out the insolence and incivility all over the place.

The strangely fascinating aspect that exists it seems, is that persons attempt to justify their insolence and incivility on the grounds that the other side did it first.

Here at the Intramuralist, we suggest the chicken and egg analogy applies…

It doesn’t matter.

How to win friends and influence people never employs disrespect. In fact, as said in multiple places about the iconic self-help author, Dale Carnegie, one of the core ideas he promoted was that it actually is possible to change other people’s behavior. However, it starts by changing our behavior toward them.

Chicken? Egg? Yep… doesn’t matter.

Respectfully…

AR

Most every year in our 16 year existence, the Intramuralist has published sort of a “state of the government” post to accompany the official State of the Union (SOTU). It’s ok if you didn’t watch last night; while we strive to watch every national address by every President regardless of party, it’s hard to pay attention to politics these days, for multiple reasons, many that were emphatically on display last night.

Also, to be clear, last night’s speech was not technically a SOTU address. It was officially an address to a joint session of Congress in the early weeks of a new president’s tenure; such is a tradition Presidents George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, Donald Trump (45) and Joe Biden each previously followed.

Regardless, no less, of the title of the early year, annual address — and regardless, too, of who has what level of control — regardless, even of party — our assessment of state has been continually summarized as too partisan, too influenced by money, too big, too financially imbalanced, and too far removed from the Constitution. 

This has been true for way too long.

But after witnessing last night’s address — and in my opinion, the embarrassing behavior by multiple members of both parties — we have a new summarizing statement:

The state of the government’s elected lawmakers is unhealthy.

Such was obvious almost immediately from last night’s address…

With all the stand ups, sit downs, jeers, cheers, brags, bravado, sulking and celebration, sometimes I felt like I was back in a junior high gym… minus only the acne, perhaps.

(And before someone attempts to suggest how all of one side’s behavior was completely acceptable, they will have to substantiate why it’s sagacious to wear a hat saying “Trump was right about everything” or to refuse to stand when a 13 year old cancer survivor was having the night of his life. Please. Grown adults can act better than we did in junior high.)

I indeed wish it was better. I wish it was healthier. I wish our elect spent more time problem solving, choosing humility over hubris and collaboration over blame. I wish we knew more what they are for rather than who they are against. I wish they worked together.

I wish the elect treated one another better, learning how to disagree without denigration, learning how to shake hands regardless of agreement.

“How can we make our politics reflect what’s best in us, and not what’s worst?” 

Such were the words of one of our three most recent presidents in his final SOTU address (I’ll refrain from sharing his name, as many will only accept the above pending who said it).

Friends, we certainly do not have all the answers. I don’t believe one person or party has all the answers either. Each has had their chance.

If our politics are thus to reflect the best in us, my strong sense is it won’t start via power or policy or partisanship or thinking one party is all right, one party is all wrong, and turning a blind eye to the malfeasance of the other. That malfeasance exists.

My equally strong sense is that if our politics are going to reflect the best of us, we need to be healthier… especially in how we treat each other. That was the problem on display last night in my opinion — how grown adults were so obviously callow with one another.

We are healthier when we commit to treating all people with respect, kindness and dignity.

Allow us to add a most important insight: disagreement is not dissolved when respect, kindness or dignity are offered.

Respect, kindness and dignity only make it so that those who disagree with you can actually hear what you have to say. I thought that’s what we want.

My deep desire, friends, is to actually take some productive next steps, if possible… treating each other better, making the government healthier, and staying out of those junior high gyms.

Respectfully…

AR

In November of 1991, Dan Gookin published the first of what would become a popular, acceptably-insulting series. DOS For Dummies was edition #1 of the educational insult, selling just 7,500 copies 34 years ago. But as the series branched out to more general-interest titles and topics (having now included everything from Chess, Fishing and Olive Oil to Pit Bulls and Captain America), the series has grown in popularity. But how does an embedded insult become so popular?

Writes publisher John Wiley & Sons: “Dummies has always stood for taking on complex concepts and making them easy to understand. Dummies helps everyone be more knowledgeable and confident in applying what they know. Whether it’s to pass that big test, qualify for that big promotion or even master that cooking technique; people who rely on dummies, rely on it to learn the critical skills and relevant information necessary for success.”

In other words, it’s ok to admit what we do not know — even wise to. It would be silly, in fact, to think we would have a working knowledge of all things. Hence, “dummy” is not actually an insult; it’s an admission that we have more to learn. 

In light, no less, of the federal government’s current budget prioritization — and a debate about the prudence of their approach is certainly worthy — one complex concept that would be helpful for us dummies to more fully understand is our national debt. We all could learn more; the hope is to have both comprehension of the issue and compassion for those who are impacted. 

The national debt is the total amount of money the federal government owes, meaning borrowed money plus interest. Also known as the federal debt or public debt, it’s the sum of all the federal government has borrowed over time to cover its expenses. When the government spends more than it takes in, it has to borrow money to cover the deficit. Each year’s deficit adds to our debt.

The money is borrowed from sources both foreign and domestic. It’s borrowed from individuals and institutions. It’s also borrowed from foreign governments. While the majority of our debt is held by domestic holders, our dependency on foreign lenders has increased significantly in recent decades, now surpassing 30%. As for foreign governments, we owe over a trillion dollars to Japan, with China, the UK and Luxembourg close behind. 

Some other significant points to aid in our comprehension:

• The current debt is over $36 trillion dollars.
• It grows by approximately $1 trillion ever 100 days — or $10 billion per day.
• If every American paid an equal share of the debt, we’d each pay over $106,000.
• The last year the federal government did not have a deficit, adding to the debt, was 2001.
• The Clinton administration was the last administration to utilize a balanced budget.
• The more we borrow, the more we pay in interest.
• Every day, we spend $2.6 billion on interest.
• Interest is the fastest growing part of the federal budget; imagine a huge credit card bill that never gets paid off.
• In ten years, interest will nearly double from where it is today.
• A low debt-to-GDP ratio demonstrates a country’s ability to pay back debt; 60% is often cited as healthy. The US’s debt-to-GDP ratio was most recently reported to be 123%.
• Rising debt can lead to erosion of confidence in the US dollar.
• 79% of voters* say they want the President and congress to spend more time addressing the national debt.

The zillion dollar question, therefore, (or at least $36 trillion one) is when does our debt level become unsustainable? Lawmakers keep kicking the can (and each other) down the road, so-to-speak, never solving the issue, as it’s not popular to cut payments and programs various ones of us have gotten used to and/or depend upon. Additionally, two of the biggest budget expenditures — Social Security and Medicare — operate at such a significant deficit, that each is projected to face insolvency in the next dozen years. Each is mandatory in the budget — meaning, if not addressed, mandatory spending will soon trigger additional mandated borrowing.

Clearly, the rate at which the debt is growing is unsustainable. Penn Wharton, the business school at the University of Pennsylvania, believes a “best case scenario” is that “under current policy, the United States has about 20 years for corrective action after which no amount of future tax increases or spending cuts could avoid the government defaulting on its debt whether explicitly or implicitly.”

True, too — and sad, in my opinion — is that politicians who sincerely strive to address this issue are often demonized by their opponents. On one hand I understand. Cuts are hard; they have the potential to hurt people. Hence, compassion for who and how people are impacted is necessary.

Simultaneously, comprehension of the consequences of this issue is also necessary…

For far more than us dummies.

Respectfully…

AR

[Notes: “GDP” stands for Gross Domestic Product, which is the total value of goods and services produced in a certain time. *Also, sources utilized include but are not limited to The Balance, Penn Wharton, The Peter G. Peterson Foundation, Tax Foundation, and the U.S. Treasury Dept.]

[As we continue to attempt to promote wisdom and respect in this world, when I recently came across this post written 10 years ago this week, it felt indeed worth an updated run…]

* * * * *

All week I’ve been wrestling with the encouragement to become like a child… to think like a child… that there’s something about being childlike that’s actually good!

I struggle with that sometimes… holding on too tightly, perhaps, to all the knowledge, intelligence, and experience — like it or not — that accompanies us into adulthood… believing that’s all so beneficial and so much more vital than being a kid. And then a tiny moment reminds me that adulthood often serves as more of an impediment than any perch of wisdom…

Last weekend I had opportunity to get away for the weekend for some fun and reflection. While away, my spouse took two of my sons bowling. While bowling is not a frequent activity for our household, when it occurs, it is typically met with ample enthusiasm. It also can become quite competitive, as we tend to enjoy competitive exercise.

My hub was pleased; he still has it after all these years. My seventeen year old was also pleased; he enjoys his share of athletic success. And then there was my son, Josh.

As has been referenced here on multiple occasions, Josh is a thriving, articulate teenage boy. He does all those things fourteen year olds typically tend to do… talk, text, try to sneak a few things by the parents. Josh also has Down syndrome.

One of the beautiful things about Josh’s “special need” is that it seems to maintain that childhood status to some degree… acting like a child… thinking like a child. But it’s made me ask, “What does that mean?”

I wish I had an easy answer. For a while, I camped on the concept of equating being like a child to something simpler — simpler thinking, something not as complex. But that doesn’t totally make sense to me.

Then I wrestled with the idea of a “childlike faith” and all those misapplications…  maybe not needing all the things we seemingly intelligent adults need to prove that we’re right… “No, we won’t believe… we won’t believe in something until they can prove it to us! We will not be fooled! Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, well…”

Something about that doesn’t seem quite right either.

A wise friend then summed it up for me in eight words… eight words. To become like a child means to ask oneself: “what if I could lay aside my fear?” … my fear of being wrong… my fear of not being perfect… my fear of failure… my fear of not looking good… my fear of needing someone or something more… What if I could lay aside my fear?

What would I do? What would I think? How would I change? How would I grow?

When I returned home for the weekend, Josh was sitting on the outside porch, eagerly waiting my return. After a few, semi-subtle bear hugs and joyful jumps of unparalleled glee, Josh said, “Mom, Mom, guess what? Guess what?! You’re never going to believe this!!”

Note that my spouse had warned me that Josh might be a little discouraged after the bowling outing. They bowled two games without the bumpers. Josh scored a 40 and a 22. That’s averaging a mere four and a little more than two pins per frame. Hence, by all intellectual accounts, Josh bowled pretty poorly.

But Josh says, “I did it, Mom! I did it! I got my first strike without the bumpers!!”

The kid was overjoyed. Embedded in his ten-frame score of 22, there was a single strike — a strike both preceded and succeeded by gutter after gutter ball. Instead of being emotionally pierced by any ball in the gutter, Josh only saw what was best. He was not deterred by any knowledge or experience… “I got my first strike!”

May we never miss the beauty of the barren strike. May knowledge and experience never deter us from seeing what is good.

Respectfully…

AR

A while ago, I was posed a sincere question by a curious Gen Z’er, “How do you stay so young?”

With zero assumption that I have cornered the market on any fountain of youth, I asked for a bit of clarification. He spoke to the idea of being fun to be around, regardless of audience or age. 

I said, “Two things. One, stay active. And two, stay interested in other people.” Don’t get stuck in your own generation. The key is learning from those who are different than you. 

As I’ve watched those Gen Z’ers, late Millennials and even the newest Generation Alpha, I have learned much. They have exposed me to everything from TikTok to EDM and Joe Rogan.

Being interested in other generations, no less, doesn’t mean concluding that they are all good or all bad; there are aspects of every generation that are healthier and not. But I was struck that in a generation that seems uniquely better in valuing and discussing mental health than the eras that have preceded them, they also are one of the first generations to grow up with social media as a life constant. Social media has given us some good things — i.e. the ability to catch up and keep up with family and friends from far away… the ability to share information more quickly… even promote businesses and learning opportunities.

But social media is also built on the world of comparison — i.e. how good or successful I am primarily depends on how it stacks up against other people. Other potential perils include privacy concerns, cyberbullying, and the spread of untrue information. The danger to one’s mental health is clear.

The mistake, however, is thinking this is only for the younger generations.

Last week I witnessed an online conversation between multiple seemingly intelligent, older adults that went literally like this…

Person #1: “Yeah, all those morons who support that…”

Person #2: “They are cognitively limited…”

Person #3: “We need to belittle the hell out of them!”

Person #4: “They’re not open to learning.”

Person #5: “Nothing but shame will work!”

How disrespectful. How awful. I continue to be befuddled by those whose conversational bravery and bluntness only come to life behind the protection of a keyboard.

But let us not add to the generous shame that comes far too easy from many these days. After all, my sense is that if a person posts something to one of their sites, their desire is to actually be heard. So how can we be heard? Let us suggest the following if one actually desires to make a difference and for others to pay attention:

• Be responsible in posting. Be honest, thoughtful and aware of the larger audience. Exercise good judgment and common sense. Recognize rants are more suitable in private conversation.
• Be accurate, including the correction of mistakes. Make sure you have all of the facts before you post. Watch re-posting and links from notably biased resources. If you make a mistake, admit it. Be upfront and quick with your correction. Humble, too.
• Don’t over post. Too many posts in too little time can overwhelm your followers, leading to audience fatigue. The quality of your content is more important than the quantity. Over posting dilutes impact.
• Ask if it passes the publicity test. If the content of your message would not be acceptable for face-to-face conversation, by phone, or other mediums, it’s not wise to post. Ask, too, “Would I want to see this published on a billboard tomorrow or ten years from now?”
• Show Respect. Respect your peers. Refrain from publishing content that contains slurs, personal insults or attacks, and/or profanity or obscenity. You are more likely to achieve your goals or sway others to your beliefs if you are constructive and respectful while discussing a bad experience or disagreeing with a concept or person. Be civil. Shame no one. Avoid any attempt to humiliate.

Just a few tips… in wanting to actually be heard… that is, for all generations.

Respectfully…

AR

[Editorial Note: Contributions to our social media guidelines were made by Penn State University, Tennessee State University, Western Oregon University and more.]

There the kid was, maybe 7 or 8 years old, out in the garage. She had found an emptied WD-40 can; remember the ones? They’re mostly blue but designed with primary colors, with the red spray mechanism on top. It came with a narrow red straw, that attached to the top, enabling the user to target where they wanted the lubricant to land. 

The young kid was curious… what’s inside those steel, aerosol cans? … what does it look like? … how come we can’t see it?

And so in an attempt to satisfy her curiosity, she found one of her father’s flat-head screwdrivers nearby, and started pounding on the can. The hope was that the pounding would pierce the steel, appeasing the intrigue of the elementary-aged girl.

She pounded and pounded. It started with a small indentation. The paint scraped off with the greatest of ease, but the can was indeed a stubborn bit of steel… five minutes… ten minutes… the tool kept making a dent, but progress was minimal at best. The indentation increased in size, but ever so slowly. 

The pounding got harder, fiercer. But change in the size of the dent was nothing short of depressing. The bang was clearly not worth the buck.

After maybe fifteen, twenty minutes (and who really knows in the mind of a 7 or 8 year old), the young girl gave up. She would have to go on never knowing the insides of the primary product of the original Rocket Chemical Company.

Shew. 

That kid was me. (And sorry, Mom and Dad, if you’ve never heard that story; it took a bit of bravery to finally come clean.) 

Yes, I know puncturing metal aerosol cans is dangerous. Yes, I know the unintended depressurization can result in explosion and/or fire. And yes, I know that the warning label actually on the WD-40 can states: “Do not puncture or incinerate container, even when empty” because the pressurized container can burst if punctured, potentially causing serious injury due to the release of flammable contents under pressure. 

I know that now. I don’t know exactly what I knew then. And such begins the public reveal of my laundry list of stupid.

We go here today, because I think most of us are painfully aware of society’s current, unfortunate generosity in unkindness and/or judgment of other people. We can each be pretty skillful in casting stones at someone. We often, too, are quite creative in both knowingly and unknowingly justifying why those stones deserve to be cast.

One of perhaps our most foundational substantiations of the casting, I believe, is that when we witness another do/say/believe something so preposterous, dangerous or awful, we justify our shaming response because we think we are incapable of doing/saying/believing something so preposterous, dangerous or awful.

Let me say it another way… we forget our own laundry list of stupid.

Not only do we forget, but we also fall prey to concluding our laundry list of stupid isn’t as bad as another’s. Friends, what’s that quote? “Stupid is as stupid does?”

Undeniably, my list is far longer than intentionally revealed above. Also undeniably, my list includes acts and beliefs far more recent than when I was 7 or 8 years old. 

But remembering that our individual laundry lists actually exist prompts two very healthy values and behaviors: one, a need to be a frequent asker and acceptor of forgiveness. And two, an authentic humility in how we treat absolutely everyone else.

Respectfully…

AR

Last week in my community a terrible thing happened. In the middle of the school day, just past eleven in the morning, three teens in two cars decided to race down the road from the high school. It’s the primary thoroughfare in the area, and is thus highly trafficked at all times of day.

Police reports said the two drivers were driving recklessly, weaving in and out of busy traffic at a high rate of speed.

The drivers both lost control, sending each car airborne, off the roadway, crashing into trees, and catching on fire.

Two of the students are expected to survive. One died the next day.

It was a terrible thing. On that all agree.

The lack of agreement elsewhere soon became painfully obvious…

Clearly, the majority of responses were full of sadness, grief and encouraging prayers for the affected families and classmates. Such heartache… brokenness… a life gone too soon. Immediately thereafter, “Go Fund Me” accounts were established for those involved and their families. That prompted increased reaction. Some of those reactions, no doubt, were highly, emotionally charged.

Remember that the students were weaving in and out of traffic. They knowingly put all the other innocent drivers and passengers around them at risk; it was a lot of people. A tangent note… I was maybe 3,4 minutes behind them, as I soon saw one of the first responding ambulances in my rear view mirror. I had also first taken backroads this day, which added about 3 minutes to my route. To suggest I was soberly, divinely grateful is an understatement indeed.

Let us, no less, be respectfully candid; what the teen drivers did was not only illegal; it was foolish, dangerous, and it also seriously threatened the very lives of those who had zero to do with the teens’ ill-decision.

Hence, the resulting question: how much mercy and grace do the foolish deserve?

And… do we assess the levels of foolishness?

Allow us to first step back a mere moment, acknowledging the difference between mercy and grace. Mercy means not receiving the punishment we deserve; grace means receiving something we don’t deserve. Mercy is being spared; grace is being favored.

It thus makes sense to me that varied reactions would be expressed in a tragedy such as this.

It makes sense to me that we wouldn’t all feel the same way.

And it makes sense to me not to demand that another feel exactly like me.

It’s ok to react differently.

So what do we do? Do we offer any mercy and grace? Kindness and compassion? Or solely justice and consequence? Is there a combination we can appropriately provide?

Friends, let me never suggest that I know best for all others. That’s an impolitic trap to fall into. 

I think back, though, to years ago, sitting with one of my mentors, struggling with a decision. I sincerely asked for help in deciding what to do in a specific situation in which others were involved and would be significantly affected by my choice. I will never forget his prudent encouragement. It went something like this…

“When life is over and it’s my time, if there’s this potential place of divine review in which we look back over the entire course of my life, the decisions I’ve made and all the pockets and places where I screwed up or was wrong, I hope it can always be said of me that I erred on the side of grace. Let me err on the side of grace.”

Friends, I suggest not that it’s easy.

Just makes me think it’s a wise thing to strive for, knowing there are many days we all need it, too.

Respectfully…

AR