[Welcome to our annual Guest Writer Series, a time in which we are intentional in listening to other voices. Know that AR may/may not agree with the perspective expressed. Know, too, that agreement is secondary to learning from others. Meet Guest Writer #6!]
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It’s the summer of 2019, and my parents and I traversed the wonderful world of Disney in Orlando, Florida. This was our last hurrah before my wedding, and we were graciously hosted by AR and her family. While we took a break in the shade, hiding from the summer sun, AR asked me a question that would ring in my ears for months. I had just mentioned to her that I was in graduate school for clinical psychology, and she asked:
“Do you see God through psychology, or psychology through God?”
Great question, right? I thought so, and I kept thinking about it. From one end, psychology is entirely about relationships, and seeing relationships through God means applying His values. On a basic level, God created humans with the explicit focus on connection—God and the Son, Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, and the list goes on. There is rarely a section in Scripture without relationships. Scripture also provides a guide on how to treat others based on God’s will. If the Bible teaches relationships—with the Creator or fellow creation—then it’s easy to see relationships through God.
On the other hand, I can also see God through relationships. Relationships are the cognitive connections we have with everything. However, these are often subject to change. Not everyone’s parents treated them the same, creating different attitudes toward parents. Someone can have wonderful parents, and they likely think parents are great. On the other hand, if someone is abused or battered by their parents, they probably don’t think the same thing. If harmful parenting is dished out by people who claim to know who Jesus is, then a relationship is formed.
In my work, that is the prevailing connection for those who no longer practice Christianity. If someone claims their faith is transformative, yet they put you in danger and make you feel pain, then a negative relationship forms. The typical response I receive around this point is, “Well, we’re all fallen,” and while true, this doesn’t change psychology. Yes, you are allowed to have flaws, but you’re not allowed to use the fall of humanity as a scapegoat for poor choices. As much as you are openly a believer, you are as much an ambassador for your faith. This doesn’t mean other people are responsible for your faith, but they can influence it. Seeing God through relationships is all through mental connections, because many of them are between our ears.
While we create relationships with the outside world, we develop relationships with our inner world as well. With something called metacognition, we can think about our thoughts and have thoughts about our feelings. Our relationship with our own basic awareness can be affected by outside events such as traumatic experiences, gaslighting, and so on. If our relationship with our own thoughts and emotions can be changed, so can our relationship with God. The mental concept of God—whom you cannot touch, see, or hear—is easily subject to influence.
After considering each side, which do I take? Do I see God through psychology or psychology through God? Although lame, my answer is both. Relationships are the foundation of psychology, but Scripture teaches how to navigate those relationships with God’s values. Through creation, we were given the capacity to have meaningful connections but also to be susceptible to negative ones. Psychology is not competitive with Christianity; it’s the tool that allows you to stay true to those values. Cognitive relationships can be barriers to your faith, so removing them through therapy is conducive to being a faithful servant.
Ironically, there’s a relationship between these relationships—something I didn’t recognize before Disney World, 2019. My friends in the hot Florida sun, made through shared faith, caused me to think about God through relationships. I’m lucky to know ambassadors of faith who would encourage me to reflect this way. While it was only a passing question, it’s managed to stick in my brain ever since.
Respectfully…
CLB