Every now and then we pen a post that I’m well aware has the potential to be eminently unpopular. Let me respectfully prepare all now. Please note that the lack of popularity is never the result of intentional offense; rather, the perspective is one with which we either (1) vehemently disagree or (2) simply don’t want to admit may be true. All should feel said freedom.
I witnessed something last weekend, no less, that seemed to surpass most learnings in sports. (Stay with me, friends; this is not a sports post, albeit still understandably, particularly painful for my pals in the state of Ohio.) In one of the most notable rivalries in college athletics, the Ohio State football team lost to the University of Michigan; their history is huge. The teams first met in 1897 and have played annually (save Covid) since 1918. There’s no question it’s one of the most contentious, anticipated games on the college schedule and thus important to many. Hence, when the Buckeyes lost to the Wolverines for the fourth year in a row Saturday — in a year when it wasn’t even expected to be close — it was difficult for the diehards to handle. That includes persons in this blogger’s own household.
There is absolutely no judgment for an outcome being difficult. We each have people and passions we prioritize — in far more than sports. It’s hard when they fail to win.
Said failure transcends the stadium. As oft stated here, for example, I work in the HR world. I’m grateful to have done this for many years and be able at this stage in my professional career now to add value in ways that I clearly missed when lesser experienced; there’s beauty in the grace the years present.
In my current scenario which includes a significant number of young professionals, one of the encouragements we fervently repeat is that “you have the freedom to fail.” Let me say that again…
You have the freedom to fail.
Note what that is and is not. It is not a denial of defeat; it is not a celebration of error, omission or total lack of success. But what it does mean is that everyone is on this team for a reason… “We believe in you… we believe in your ability.” And recognizing that none of us have walked on water yet on this planet, none of us are perfect; hence, we don’t expect perfection.. “All of us will make mistakes. All of us will fail some days. Let’s learn from both the best and worst of days.”
The freedom to fail takes the pressure off. It’s amazing therefore how much better work it produces and also what a healthier culture it creates when no one thinks there’s an expectation to be perfect.
So back to the college gridiron…
The week of the game, highly respected OSU coach Ryan Day sat for an interview discussing the upcoming contest. He poignantly verbalized what it was like to lose to Michigan. Said Day, “We’ve felt what it’s like to not win this game, and it’s bad. It’s one of the worst things that’s happened to me in my life, quite honestly. Other than losing my father and a few other things, like, it’s quite honestly, for my family, the worst thing that’s happened. So we can never have that happen again — ever.”
Contentious. Highly anticipated. Important to many. All of that is still true. But with absolutely all due respect to Day, note the message he’s sending to his team, a group of men whose average age is just over 21 years old. The mindset is that losing a game is “the worst thing” that could happen to you in life.
No judgment, friends. I know we passionately want our people and teams to win. But I sincerely question two things:
One, do sports ever become too important? Games? Does winning ever become more important than life and death, faith, health and relationships?
And two, if a team goes into a game absent the freedom to fail — believing if they lose, it will be the worst thing that ever happens to them — will they play their best? How tight/loose will they actually play?
Just asking… and grateful to add value in ways that I once missed. There is indeed beauty in the grace and insight experience present.
Respectfully…
AR