If you read The Intramuralist often, you know she has a voice that is passionate about the need to listen… to be respectful… to be non-judgmental. Perhaps she inherited some of her grandfather’s DNA, for without the benefit of Facebook, he lived the same passion, face-to-face instead. Let me introduce you to this Listener.
In a small town there are two people who “know the scoop” about what is happening when, where, and with whom. No, it is not that they gossip. Rather, they offer a listening ear and closed mouth to their clientele. They are encouragers, not judges. So despite the qualifications of the two local pastors in the Minnesota town of my upbringing, Archie, the barber, and Herb, the bartender, were the confidantes, though they never hung out their shingles. Herb was my dad, and since people drink a beer more often than they get a haircut, he “worked” overtime.
Now I can’t say that as a teen, I was particularly impressed when a customer came in for the coffee I served, but seemed more interested in conversation with my dad in the corner booth. I knew Dad enjoyed people, and I just passed it off as his friendly attitude. There was Blanch who needed to join AA, Hank who lost his job, and Herman who was depressed. But then I discovered friends of mine came to see him too… Jo who was heartbroken over Bob’s rejection, Eddie who was leaving for the Army, Merle who felt she was a disappointment to her parents. Even after I left for college, they still came to see him. They sent him cards when they traveled; they called just to say hello; they brought their new spouse to meet him; they came to call at his funeral. With more maturity, I came to realize that Dad knew the importance of people. His concern and interest were authentic. His insights wise. He could be trusted with what was entrusted to him. He knew love listens. Would we all seek to listen as my dad? … and his granddaughter… listening that is respectful and non-judgmental.
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And oh yes, the pastors came to see him too… knocking at the back door to visit… and knowing they could buy a six-pack without anyone else knowing.
Thanks, Intramuralist, for the opportunity to share.
Respectfully,
DDL
I want to be your dad. Thanks for sharing.
That was beautiful and had a great point. Be a listener and not a gossip and love people well. Sounds like your dad was a great man, and had that special “something” that drew people to him. Sounds like you have that too and so does our illustrious blogger…. AR.
Thanks…yes, he offered us insight without the benefit of a college education, but with an understanding and commitment to the needs of others…which is authentic wisdom. My parents were a blessing.