under the micro phone/scope

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In case you missed it, there was a bit of a big game on Sunday. Ah, yes, a reported 111.9 million of us tuned in, combining to form history’s third largest Super Bowl viewing audience. And somewhere after arguably most of us left the audience, each team’s quarterback took a turn before the mic.

[Disclaimer notice: as often with our sports posts, I perceive this post to be about far more than sports…]

Winning team QB Peyton Manning was obviously pleased and proud at the mic. Including his repeated, perky promise to “drink a lot of Budweiser” that night, Manning was incredibly gracious and glad in front of the microphone.

Losing team QB Cam Newton was notably sullen and sad. Fielding questions in the same room with a member of the opposing team — who was gleefully sharing how they manhandled Newton — Newton was abrupt with his answers, offered little insight, and in the middle of the session, he got up, despondently walking away.

With no more games then for the next five months (and thus minimal football news flow), many have spent the last two days debating Newton’s behavior. To be clear, Manning said that Newton “couldn’t have been nicer” to him when the two met at midfield after the contest, adding that Newton “was extremely humble.”

Let’s first, though, take note of the regular season… All year, Newton’s behavior has thrilled many fans with his high fives, chest bumps, and joy-filled, flight imitation celebrations. He and his team have had much to celebrate. Some fans, however, saw such exuberance as boastful and brash.

My sense is that one of the reasons Newton’s abrupt appearance stood out at the microphone is because it’s juxtaposed against of the contagious vivaciousness Newton displayed previously throughout the year.

I understand those who have no patience for Newton’s curt, dejected reaction. He’s a grown man, a star in the league, and makes millions of dollars; he is the clear, outspoken leader of his team. A leader must lead through the good, bad, and the ugly. As Hall of Famer Deion Sanders said about Newton, “You are the face of our brand right now; you can’t do that… You’re opening yourself for more criticism, because everybody is going to say you’re dabbing and smiling and smiling and styling. So this is how you go out when you lose?”

Good point. A wise man is gracious in both victory and defeat. The only thing understandably absent in defeat is the grin.

That said, Newton is also only 26 years old.

26.

When I was 26, I admit: I did some incredibly stupid things. (Can I just say again? …thank God Facebook and Instagram weren’t around then…)

But it’s true; it would have been wiser for Newton to act differently… he’s an adult…. he should know better… And sometimes when I was 26, I should have known better, too.

I must also confess… there’s another aspect I actually, oddly find somewhat refreshing — albeit, true, in a rude sort of way. That is, Newton didn’t fake how he felt. Maybe it’s the political season we’re in; maybe it’s this abundance of image branding and rebranding, in which we see continued persons attempt to look better and wiser than they really are; it’s so inauthentic. The fact that Newton didn’t fake the way he felt — the deep dejection after finally getting to the pinnacle of his profession and then losing it — in some ways, makes sense to me.

Thus, while Newton’s public reaction was rude and unsportsmanlike, I also wonder how many other 26 year olds would have had the wisdom and composure to lead well in that moment… under the pressure of the microphone and under the glare of society’s always-watching microscope…

Here’s to leading better, growing in wisdom, and holding onto both the grace and the grin.

Respectfully…
AR

super bowl 50

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One of the things I love about the Super Bowl is that more than most things, “everyone’s watching.” Let’s attempt to put this in perspective…

In the last presidential election, approximately 12.6 million people voted.

In last year’s Super Bowl, approximately 114.4 million of us tuned in.

Granted, not everyone’s old enough to vote, and one doesn’t have to be registered or an American citizen to watch the Super Bowl.

But as said, “everyone’s watching.”

What is also true is that we’re not all rooting the same amount for the same team…

Some people are lifelong Denver Broncos fans; others are diehard Carolina Panther fans (since they first began play in 1995). Some are motivated to cheer on Denver QB Peyton Manning, in hopes of one more Super Bowl win before the future Hall of Famer seemingly soon retires; others are intrigued by the talent and charisma of Carolina QB Cam Newton. Still more cheer on specific others; i.e. my youngest has great enthusiasm for Denver’s defensive specialist Aqib Talib (I think he likes saying his name), and many where I’m from are cheering on hometown hero Luke Kuechly. Still more, no less, are tuning in for commercials only — and several others are only in the room while the game is being played, paying minimal-at-most attention, enjoying this day as one of the world’s premiere social events.

In other words, we watch for different reasons… possess varied passions… feel it differently… express it differently… and are motivated differently. We are, by all accounts, a bit of a divided people group.

As a divided people group, we will eat chips, watch commercials, and remember forever some of the game’s great moments…

We will enjoy the halftime show, and hope for no wardrobe malfunctions…

We will see if Peyton’s still “got it” and if Cam can keep it going…

Yet what I appreciate most about this division, is that while as a collective whole we root for different teams and players — different people and parties — is that there is very little “take that,” “you idiot,” or any demonizing of the other team.

We play the game, accept the results, congratulate the winners, and act like mature adults.

I think that’s it for me…

In much of the division on this planet, there is too much demonizing… too many cave to believing they have been somehow blessed with the omniscient ability to cast another team, player, people, or party as all evil… all bad… all arrogant… all racist… all sexist… all dishonest… all narcissistic… all ignorant… all idiotic… or all yada yada something. Too many see themselves as all-knowing to do such casting. Too many demonize due to division. Too many more justify following along.

One of the things I love about the Super Bowl, is that we are better at dealing with the division…

… and that we eat a lot of chips.

Respectfully…
AR

too good

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Every now and then a story comes along that prompts a bit of a pregnant pause. There’s something that causes me to stop and take an extra glance. Granted, the reality is that in most of these stories, my perspective is limited as our information is incomplete. Such happened recently in the “Land of 10,000 Lakes”… in girls basketball, no less. According to the Minneapolis City Pages, “the definitive source of information for news, music, movies, restaurants, reviews, and events in Minneapolis”…

“Most children are encouraged by parents and coaches to ‘do your best’ and ‘give 100 percent.’ One girls basketball team in Minnesota is being told ‘Hey, that’s way too much.’

The Rogers Area Youth Basketball Association girls high school team was booted from the Northwest Suburban Basketball League for being too good — seriously.

‘We found out Friday at lunchtime that we’re not going to be allowed because according to the league, our girls were too talented,’ coach Jason Hanauska told Fox 9 News.

Hanauska says three teams were threatening to forfeit games or leave the league, so RAYBA was kicked out instead.

Parents of RAYBA players received a letter from the head of their association with this explanation: ‘The Northwest Suburban Basketball League has decided RAYBA does not fit into the league. The main reason they made this decision is because other teams do not want to play RAYBA due to the skill level.’

‘Are we supposed to play worse just to make them happy?’ RAYBA player Tessa McCarthy said.”

After a meeting was held to brainstorm potential solutions on Jan. 25th, the RAYBA team was banned…

…For being too good.

One editorialized report, in fact, read in conjunction with this post, suggested the following spin in regard to the girls’ play:

“They turned out to be monsters, crushing their opponents in the first two games.”

[Emphasis mine.]

I get it. This is tough stuff. It’s hard in the Little and littler leagues when one team dominates. It’s challenging to face another opponent when the chances of winning are seemingly slim. But teenage girls as “monsters”??

There’s a part of me, no less, that’s highly tempted to scream and shout (as much as I actually do scream and shout), wondering if this is a direct result of current culture’s equality bandwagon going too far… having to limit the playing field… giving everyone a trophy… unable to acknowledge differences in performance… unable to affirm excellence in another.

While it is certainly true that “all men were created equal,” it is equally true that “all men” do not possess equal ability.

We have each been uniquely wired by our Creator, doing some things better than others…. possessing some skills better than others… doing some things actually worse (… watch me ice skate sometime; I totally stink). The reality is — which FYI, might actually be a better thing to teach teenage girls — that we are not all equal in terms of ability.

I do confess, that if I was on the other side of that girls basketball team, having to face any so-called kind of “monster,” that would be a hard for me; I don’t like to lose.

But I would also hope that another team being “too good” or more skilled than moi would never be cause for me to quit or them to be kicked out. Otherwise, this embracing of equality — and ignoring of unique ability — has gone too far.

Respectfully…
AR

making the dorito great again

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So it seems fairly obvious that instead of wanting to hear any more about..

“Defeat the Washington Machine. Unleash the American Dream.”
“Heal. Inspire. Revive.”
“From Hope to Higher Ground”
“Make America Great Again”
“A New American Century”
“New Possibilities. Real Leadership.”
“A Political Revolution Is Coming”
“Rebuild the American Dream”
“Reigniting the Promise of America”
“Right to Rise”

…or the self-titled “Hillary for America”…

We would rather hear about…

Alec Baldwin and Dan Marino brainstorming for Amazon
Axe encouraging all to “Find your magic.”
“The Bud Light Party Is Coming” from Amy Schumer and Seth Rogen
Campbell’s Chunky Soup finally offering “This One’s For Mom”
George Washington and Lil Wayne utilizing Apartments.com
Marilyn Monroe singing “Happy Birthday” for Snickers
“Meet the Marmot Soon”
Serena Williams, Abby Wambach, T-Pain, etal. talk about “Defying Labels” and Mini Coopers
Pokemon 20’s “I Can Do That”
A “Storm’s a-Brewin’ “ for the Death Wish Coffee Company

And anything that clever advertising team for Doritos chooses to deliver.

Yes, to all my friends from Iowa and the surrounding states…

You have been inundated in recents weeks/months with political advertising. You’ve heard slant after slogan and slogan after slant telling you how to think, what to feel, how to vote, what to believe — each attempting to convince you who exactly a person is… and who exactly another is not.

You’ve had person after promo attempting to maximize the positive… and minimize the negative; more than a few previous behaviors seem to want to be buried.

No, they don’t want us to have the most accurate opinion of someone; they only want us to have the most positive opinion of themselves — and often the most negative opinion of others — whether such an opinion be true or not. Opinion matters more than truth.

Hence…

Thank God the Iowa Caucuses are now over. There should be no more (or at least far fewer!) commercials!

And thank God, too, for Sunday. Super Bowl 50 — and the above commercials — will be here!

P.S. The Super Bowl commercials will be better.

(C’mon, Doritos…)

Respectfully…
AR

we the people

irish-handsAs we watch the current debating and berating — with many of us bugged or baffled by this odd election cycle — a wise friend pointed to me to this… a thought-provoking blog from Matt Walsh, a man who identifies himself as “a blogger, writer, speaker, and professional truth sayer.” In his latest stab at truth saying, he suggests that “America Is Falling Apart And It’s Your [our] Fault.” Ponder the following, little-longer-than-usual, brash but insightful excerpt:

“When deciding who to blame for the current state of affairs in our country, we always run through a familiar list of shadowy villains: the ‘system,’ the ‘establishment,’ politicians, lobbyists, the schools, the media, etc. These are fine suspects in their own right, but I find it ridiculous that, somehow, we skip right over the first and most dastardly culprit: ourselves.

We never blame us, do we? We always get off the hook. All of the misery and misfortune in our culture have been hoist upon us from Washington, D.C. and Hollywood and Ivory Towers, and none of it from us, we claim. We’re victims. We had no say in any of this at all, according to us. Well, at the risk of alienating literally every single person reading this, I’d like to suggest that you are an adult and a voter, and this is your fault. And mine. And your mother’s. And your neighbor Jim’s. And all of our accomplices who generally make up the club known as ‘We The People.’

Here’s what I know: If you and me and your mother and your neighbor Jim and the rest of them were prudent, rational, resolute, wise, well-read, morally courageous and intellectually engaged, we wouldn’t be in this fix. What’s more, we wouldn’t have the same sort of politicians because we wouldn’t vote for those sorts of politicians, and we wouldn’t have the same sort of media because we wouldn’t watch that sort of media. Right on down the line like dominoes, everything would change if we changed. Everything.

But there is no accountability. We all say we want accountability, but what we really mean is we want everyone else to be accountable. Very few people will actually hold themselves accountable for anything. Our Republic crumbles while we all sit around pretending we’re victims of a culture we’re actively creating and politicians we actively vote into office. We put torches to our own home and wonder why it’s on fire.

And then, surveying the destruction we wrought upon ourselves, we weep like damsels in distress, crying out for a white knight to save us. Inevitably, a charlatan in a suit of armor comes along and promises to do just that. We faint and fall into his arms, and he proceeds to immediately betray us. Then we weep again for another white knight to save us from the last one, and another comes along, and he betrays us, and we weep again, and another one comes, and so on and so on and so on and so on unto infinity.

In the midst of all of this, nobody ever says: ‘Hey American people, STOP IT YOU FOOLS.’ Instead, even the people who know better continue making patronizing excuses for us. They pontificate about how the ‘blue collar workers’ and the ‘middle class’ are feeling quite sad and angry at the moment, and we can’t very well be expected to take charge of our lives and make better decisions when we’re feeling this way. Nonsense. It’s all nonsense.

Any notion that we’re victims of some mysterious outside force rather than of ourselves should be laid to rest because of this election season. After everything we’ve been through as a nation, suffering the incompetence, corruptions, and failures of one ruling regime after another, look at what we’re doing when given the opportunity to go in a different direction: flocking to Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton.
Some of us support other candidates, but, if polls are any indication, something close to a majority are threatening to vote for one of these three. We could well be looking at a Trump-Clinton or even Trump-Sanders showdown for president. And whose fault will that be?
Ours. Such an election would be a searing indictment not of Washington, D.C. or ‘the establishment’ or any other vague entity, but of us. We the people.

We vote for petty bullies, crooks, and charlatans. We vote for them. We select them. Our politics are a reflection of us. Just like the deterioration of the family, the divorce rate, fatherless homes, the moral bankruptcy of our culture, the decline of faith, collective apathy,  ignorance and intellectual laziness are manifestation of our choices, so is the political system. None of this was hoisted upon us by dark overlords or mystical sorcerers. We have made choices, we have done things, we have decided to be a certain way, and that way has proven poisonous to the future of our country…

Besides, what’s shallowly buried in this ‘don’t blame the voters who support bad candidates, blame the system’ stuff is the implication that, essentially, people are incontinent morons who cannot be held responsible for their own actions. Weak-kneed apologists who agree that Trump/Sanders/Clinton/whoever is atrocious but insist that their supporters can’t be criticized, are claiming to be smarter than those supporters. When they say, ‘Yes, I see that this candidate is an insidious despot but you can’t blame the people who don’t see it,’ what they’re really saying is, ‘Yes, I see that this candidate is an insidious despot but you can’t blame the people who don’t see it because they’re stupid.’

So while I’m accusing the American public of wreaking havoc upon their own country, I’m not actually the one insulting the public. I do not believe that people are, by and large, stupid. And if people are stupid, I don’t believe I’m among the small minority of smart people. My access to information and my capacity to understand that information is about on par with everyone else. Yet, while I must claim responsibility for my share of this country’s decline, I’m at least not intent on voting for a socialist, a reality TV game show host, or a criminal. Why is that? Do I have mental capabilities that exceed those who support these reprobates? No, I don’t think so.

If a lack of intelligence were at the core of our nation’s problems, it might be true that our dear leaders in government, media, and education are solely to blame because they’re the smart ones taking advantage of a bunch of drooling imbeciles. But I don’t believe that to be the case. I believe at the core of our nation’s problems — especially our electoral problems, but also everything beyond that — are a collection of common vices, not mental deficiencies: laziness, apathy, greed, pride, envy, hatred, etc.

Our sin is our undoing. I’m as irritated with ‘the establishment’ as you are — or at least I would be if I knew what that phrase meant — but ‘the establishment,’ whatever it is, isn’t responsible for your sloth and your selfishness. Although nobody will acknowledge it, there is indeed a profound selfishness in the person who interjects himself into the democratic process yet refuses to think deeply, evaluate all the evidence, listen to opposing arguments, and scrutinize the principles, character, and integrity of the candidate he supports. To plug your ears and put on your blinders and plunge determinedly into the voting booth, having spent months aggressively refusing to apply any serious and considered thought to your decision, is an act of supreme self-centeredness. Even more so in the case of the people who vote for the politicians who promise to give them money appropriated from their fellow citizens. That’s greed and self-indulgence, not mere gullibility. In fact, these people are anything but gullible. They know exactly what they’re doing.

Ignorance, especially, can no longer be the stock explanation. We all carry around little devices that grant us access to all of the information in the world. The sum total of human knowledge is contained tidily in our pockets. We may choose to use this godlike tool to watch porn and take pictures of our own faces, but the fact remains that none of us have an excuse to be ill-informed. We continue to make reckless and shortsighted decisions as voters not because we lack information, but because we’ve seen the information and don’t care, or perhaps because we don’t care about seeing the information. In both cases, again, the fault is ours and ours alone…

Our bad choices and our flaws and our sins have brought us here politically, culturally, and in every other sense. That’s the truth. So if you want things in this country to improve, stop whining about the system and look in the mirror. We aren’t the victims, we’re the cause. If America is ever going to be ‘Great Again,’ it has to start with a little personal accountability.”

[Truth?]

Respectfully…
AR

fascinated

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So let’s lead today with the bottom line: this election cycle is the oddest I have ever seen.

Now I am no ambassadorial expert nor Poli-Sci major nor anything close. I am merely a current events observer and only a semi-humble one at that. Ronald Reagan was the first President I ever voted for, and I’ve visited Jimmy Carter’s hometown twice. I was always struck by how a radio announcer for the Chicago Cubs and a peanut farmer from Plains, Georgia could each become President and lead our country. I am again fascinated by who wishes to lead it now… odd as this cycle may sometimes be…

My spouse challenged me on the word “fascinated” last week. “You use that a lot,” he said. I do; it’s a great word. Note that “fascinated” does not infer positivity nor negativity. “Fascinated” means there’s something laced within the current condition that irresistibly keeps my attention.

So let us not dive into a “he-said/she-said/take-that” kind of conversation. The challenge when ignoring the timeless tip to avoid talking politics or religion is that the disrespect comes quickly from stances that are passionately engrained; we have trouble stepping out of what’s engrained. Granted, the Intramuralist has never avoided politics or religion, as we believe all things are discussable if we are mindful of the one who thinks differently.

With that as our backdrop — recognizing we do not all view this the same way — and we are not going to — I see some “fascinating” people involved in the 2016 presidential race — a vote, no less, that is still more than nine months away…

Let’s start with first-namers Donald and Hillary, as several of us are significantly, distinctly more grace-giving to one. And yet…

The Donald… he says some outlandishly harsh things. He seems to thrive on intransigent opinion and provocation of opposition. As HBO’s “Real Time” host Bill Maher recently posed, “Donald Trump is largely a result of a backlash to political correctness.” In other words, there exists a perception among many of increased, imposed political correctness in our society, which has arguably prompted Trump’s clear lack of political correctness; that’s attractive to many people. Trump is thus tapping into frustration with those who believe society is on the wrong track, utilizing his contagious mantra of wanting to “make America great again.”

The Hillary… she says some outlandishly dishonest things. She seems to thrive on her unique female qualifications and being the target of fully political ploys. As long-time NY Times political columnist William Safire wrote 19 years ago, before he passed away, “Americans of all political persuasions are coming to the sad realization that our First Lady — a woman of undoubted talents who was a role model for many in her generation — is a congenital liar.” Clinton is staunchly dismissive of the accusations, saying she’s a victim, which also resonates with many people. She thus focuses instead on being a “champion” for others and how we are finally “ready” for “Hillary for America.”

What may be equally fascinating to this observer, are the justifications we offer, that seem to substitute for the above, perceived liabilities. Some will quickly, respectfully suggest, “Well, Trump may be harsh, but at least he’s honest,” while others will equally, respectfully counter, “Well, Hillary may lie, but all politicians lie.” My observation is that each is an acceptance of something lesser; each is an acceptance of something that is not good, not true, and not right. I am not suggesting that the harshness and deceit are automatic disqualifiers for their respective candidacies; more so, I am saying that I am fascinated at how often those traits seem minimized or ignored by their supporters and endorsers.

Yes, we tend to be significantly, distinctly more grace-giving to only one.

We should also acknowledge the additional others vying to be President #45, even though the media seems slightly obsessed with the above two. My sense is that all others running are currently being portrayed minimally and thus somewhat inaccurately — causing us to unknowingly craft incomplete assessments of both their campaigns and character. Granted, candidate Cruz is challenged by his brashness and Senator Sanders by his fondness for socialism. But the reality is that for these two and others, we think we know who they are, what they stand for, and how solid their character is — primarily based on social memes and minimal, often slanted coverage.

To be clear, as my older brother continues to remind me, no votes have actually been cast as of yet. Then again, that changes on Monday, with the start of the 2016 primaries via the  Iowa Caucus.

No doubt, therefore, the next nine months will continue to be fascinating.

Respectfully…
AR

take that!

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Here at the Intramuralist, we talk about everything… life, love, sports, politics, social media, common culture, current events. There is nothing we won’t talk about… albeit always, hopefully respectfully.

That’s our mantra… join us. Talk with us. Share what you’re thinking — as loud or passionate as that may be. As long as we are always aware that another non-idiotic other may feel differently than we, we can have the hard conversation.

But too many… too often… for too many possibly thinly guised, often unknown, yet self-focused reasons, justify something lesser. They justify the disrespect.

The truth is, I get it. For I, too, am prone to disrespect.

Hear me here…

It is no secret that this semi-humble current events, etal. observer is not a fan of the New England Patriots. I have never been overwhelmingly impressed by head coach Bill Belichick’s conversational skills nor leader Tom Brady’s effervescent humility.

So much so, that on Sunday evening, when the Patriots finally fell to the Denver Broncos and QB Peyton Manning (… full disclosure notice: I have always loved Manning — although not as much as my older brother), but in that moment I was truly tempted to tweet one thing: “Take that, you Patriots!”

Take that.

And then I remembered something…

I remembered my respected friends who actually are Patriots fans. I remembered their sweet young, impressionable kids who are also Patriots fans. I remembered that there are many good, wise, well-thinking people I respect who think and feel differently than me. I remembered, too, that I don’t know everything about Belichick and Brady. I have never met them. I am basing my passionate opinion off of nothing more than incomplete information. Sometimes passion blinds us to that.

I can thus only conclude one thing: there is no place for “take that.”

Yes… what an arrogant, judgmental thing for me to think and potentially say.

It reminded me of an Election Day several years back, when a trusted friend drove by after casting her vote. “Woooohoooo!” was her glee-laden yell, muffled only by the accompanying series of enthusiastic honks from her car horn. She was thrilled at the possibility of the person she voted for becoming president.

There’s just one catch…

When she drove by — as we had several excellent, thought-provoking discussions beforehand — she knew my vote was not going to be cast in the same direction. She knew, in some sense, we would actually be cancelling one another out. But she also knew that I would celebrate her and her enthusiasm. Being happy for her and having my own opinion are not incompatible emotions.

Hence, there was no “take that” from either of us.

Too many… too often…

Justify the “take that”… in life, love, sports, politics, social media, common culture, current events…

We forget that there exist many good, wise, well-thinking other people who feel differently than we do.

Respectfully…
AR

let it snow

photo-1431036101494-66a36de47defThis weekend a blizzard has battered the Northeast. In some places there are more than two feet of snow. Over 8,000 flights have been cancelled, and over 1,000 power outages have been reported up the East Coast.

The New York Governor went so far as to issue a travel ban on New York City and Long Island highways and roads over the weekend. The snow was so significant, actually, that yesterday, all shows — both matinees and evening performances — were cancelled on Broadway. This is big.

This can also be dangerous. Let us first recognize that such a heavy amount of snow and the accompanying cold can be perilous for many people. Tragically, in fact, initial reports from this particular snow storm indicate at least 18 people have lost their lives in snow-related deaths thus far. The cold and ice and regional potential flooding bring an added, unpredictable risk.

I think, too, of those in distinct danger… I think of the elderly; I think of the homeless. My heart breaks for those who have no roof over their head nor food on their table. They are truly among the so-called “least of these.” We cannot forget them especially during times like this.

That said first — always attempting to acknowledge what’s most important — there is one thing I absolutely love about such significant snowfall…

The big flakes… pouring down… the accumulation…

It makes us stop.

That’s it; it makes us stop.

Years ago I heard a wise man say, “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” I think there’s a lot of truth in that; we are a busy people. We go from one thing to the next to the next. We have overflowing to do lists and seemingly way too much to accomplish on a daily basis. We don’t have enough time, energy, sleep, rest, you-name-it, because we are so busy. And when we are so busy, we don’t take the time to engage in some of the basic caring, polite, and subtle respectful tasks a wise one would always embrace…

We don’t have time to be selfless, to put someone else first, to put their needs ahead of our own…

We don’t have time to listen well, as it’s far more efficient for us time-wise to simply tell others what we think rather than listen to what they have to say…

We don’t have time for interactive dialogue, as Twitter’s tweets and Facebook rants are far easier, allowing us to still vent and spew our opinions and then actually think we had a conversation…

In other words, as busy people with full schedules who are so often on the go, we don’t perceive ourselves as having the actual time to be patient, respectful, or empathetic. We then begin to seemingly subconsciously dismiss those contagious, fruitful, and beautifully encouraging character traits because they take too much time.

It is true; patience, respect, and empathy take time.

When the snow comes, however, in such significant amounts, we have no choice; we have to slow down; we have to stop.

I love the fact that something makes us stop, being still, reflecting, thinking, thinking of others, and taking a break from those to do lists.

Hmmm… I wonder… I wonder if that’s why God created snow.

Respectfully…
AR

Someone else’s kid

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We each have places where we choose… where we root for one over the other… where we deeply want one person or one team or one side or school to win. We passionately desire success and victory for a single one.

And if that team or side or school includes my kid, then regardless of the current respect, obedience level, or whatever-still-in-need-of-growth characteristic exists in my kid, I am going to root like the dickens for my kid’s team to win. I won’t be rude; I won’t call anyone names (and hopefully not even think them); and I won’t be unable to interact warmly with any of diverse desire sitting in the stands nearby. I simply will root like crazy for the one I love — regardless of the health or status of my current relationship with him. I will be my son’s advocate. Always.

And then it donned on me last weekend… sitting in the auditorium in the first high school show choir competition, a weekend where my kid’s choir did great — but another choir was deemed to have done better; we came in second. And as I watched the winning choir burst with ample enthusiasm — pleased to have won and to have surpassed this day a choir with a growing national reputation — it donned on me: each kid on stage is someone else’s kid… each young adult is someone else’s kid. Each person on that stage is the kid of someone — and regardless of age, stage, character, or health of their current relationship, there is a parent watching who is rooting like the dickens for their kid. There is a parent who is pleased and proud.

Such is true whether the competition exists…

In Little League…
In high school…
In college or the pros…
At a swim meet…
At an Olympic track and field tryout…
At a high school debate team contest or even presidential debate…
On the hardwood…
On the gridiron…
On the field or something online…
Steelers/Bengals…
Steelers/Broncos…
Broncos/Patriots…
Brady/Manning…
Bird/Johnson…
Tiger/Phil…
Alabama/Auburn…
Michigan/Ohio State…
Duke/Carolina…
Red Sox/Yankees…
Tastes great/less filling… 🙂

The point in (almost) each of the above is that someone’s kid is playing. And someone other than you and me is going to be rooting just as hard for their kid precisely because it’s their kid… it doesn’t matter if growing up, they’ve made poor choices — or even if they’ve made a series of poor choices lately. The parent will always want the perceived best for their kid.

Let’s take this awareness one step further…

How does it change all of the above — who we root for, how hard we root for them, and how we perceive the side or team that bests ours on a given day — if we recognize each of us, created by God (since there’s no way we could have come out of nowhere) — as one of his kids?

If we are one of his kids, then he must always want what’s best for us, too… working on that whatever-still-in-need-of-growth characteristic still exists in me…

Makes me think that winning and losing, even coming in second, matter a little less than we sometimes believe…

Respectfully…
AR

a few q’s from MLK’s dream

photo-1444351274028-b348e6da5f67Monday was America’s annual observance of Martin Luther King Day. Oh, how I love that so many have so much respect for the message of that man. Let’s revisit his most infamous words, one of the most significant speeches in American history, delivered in August of 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. Read an excerpt of his wise words before a few simple Q’s…

“…It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment…

Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force…

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of ‘interposition’ and “nullification” — one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; ‘and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together’…”

Hence…

  • What would be Dr. King’s wise words to all of us now? Would they be the same?
  • How would Dr. King have responded to the Black Lives Matter protest?
  • What would be Dr. King’s message to police?
  • Who among us knows the exact answers Dr. King would offer?
  • Is sharing the same skin color necessary to know Dr. King’s perspective?

I often wonder how each of us contributes to the fragility of racial relations… how each of us either intentionally or unintentionally fuels the intensity of any division… how we fuel it or mend it… how each of us contributes… where we become demanding — shouting at one another… You just need to understand! …You are the problem!” … We spend a lot of effort and energy focused on “you.” We point at other people.

Maybe that’s part of what Dr. King wanted us to comprehend… where the rough places can actually be made plain and the crooked places straight… when we no longer point at anyone other than self… when we look inside our own hearts, questioning whether we love all people well… looking at our own pockets of judgment… as opposed to always pointing at the crookedness in someone else.

Maybe. Just asking questions, friends…

Respectfully…
AR