Month: April 2013

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who is more successful than me?

Today reminded me of an endless truth…

… a truth, I believe, we each wrestle with.

In fact, it’s one we say we don’t believe, but when push comes to shove and the moment hits us squarely in the face, we’re forced to ask what we believe…

 

Can I truly celebrate the success of another?

Or do I look as someone else’s success as one less opportunity for me?

 

(Examples, please…)

 

… be that the kid who plays on the soccer or baseball or any other team before my beloved child…

… be that the older teen who is awarded the lead before any of those other talented teens I love…

… or be that the business man who is more successful than me in my adulthood…

… be that even the adult who is more successful than me?

 

Can I celebrate their success?

 

The reality is that if you and I view someone else’s good fortune as something lesser for you and me then we can’t truly celebrate their success; we can’t be happy for them.  We will instead look at them with displeasure or disdain, thinking that’s one less opportunity for me.

 

And then…  yes, then… we justify all sorts of things.  We justify:

 

… looking down upon them.

… playing (dare I suggest) “victim.”

… and yes… actually… (let’s say it…) physically confiscating from them…

 

… ah, do I dare even argue such taps into the inherent definition of socialism?  … in other words… a unitary controlling of goods and services regardless of who has worked hardest for them?  … regardless of who is most deserving?

 

This past weekend, my oldest sons have been involved in a national show choir competition in Nashville, Tennessee.  Several of the nation’s best performed on the Grand Ole Opry stage.  It has been a beautiful, emotional, awe-inspiring weekend.

 

After the preliminaries that spanned 2 entire days, the audience seemed thankful to witness the varying, amazing talents on display from high schools donning from Florida, Minnesota, Ohio, Virginia, etc.  It was no doubt a talented, uplifting time; it was also an incredible opportunity for our teens.  After day one, I wondered how the exiting choirs would feel, as a mere six were named finalists.

 

Would the competitors feel positive for one another?

Would they wish each other well?

Would they see opportunities as limitless?

Or would they only focus on what they, personally, had won or lost?

 

On Saturday, I woke that morning in prayer… praying that this day for my boys would be a confidence builder… that regardless of the result, it would be a day of enormous blessing… that they would gain confidence and self-esteem… and that they would realize the unparalleled rewarding of effort and hard work.

 

My boys’ choir won first place.  It’s a special, special group.  Yes, yes… like all good parents, the Intramuralist sobbed.  (Call me a grown up “softie.”)  But I sobbed most due to the humbling answer to my prayers…

Opportunity is not limited.  And blessing is undoubtedly bountiful.

Always and still… yes… always and still.

 

Respectfully,

AR

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Kevin Ware (yes, again…)

Of all the heartwarming insights and anecdotes shared regarding University of Louisville basketball player, Kevin Ware — the guard with the gruesomely shattered leg — the wisest words I’ve yet to hear have come straight from the young man.

 

After surgery to repair his compound fracture, Ware was asked what it was like to awake and see the regional championship trophy, which Coach Rick Pitino had personally delivered to his room.  Ware said, “It brought tears to my eyes.  It was one of the greatest moments of my life.”  He continued to cry, when asked about the encouragement he’s received from his teammates.

 

In other words, here when one man has the motive and moment to…

 

… play the victim…

… focus on the negative…

… claim ‘woe is me’…

 

Or when one could easily…

 

… blame someone else for his circumstances…

… shake his fist at the divine…

… or deny his current day reality…

 

Here is this 20 year old college sophomore…

… with negative circumstances suddenly thrust upon him, who has remained upbeat, thankful, encouraging, and even, actually others-focused.  Ware poignantly added in this week’s ESPN interview, “I know my situation isn’t the worst.  I’m truly blessed.”

 

How many of the rest of us — perhaps even older than 20 — continue to count our blessings when the consequences seem bleak?

 

Not Ware.

 

Earlier this season, Kevin Ware was suspended for 1 game by Coach Pitino for “disciplinary issues.”  At the time Pitino said Ware “isn’t coming back anytime soon.”  While the specific details of the suspension were never released, those close to the program believe it was due to an attitude problem.  Upon his return, Ware said the circumstances prompted him to re-evaluate his priorities and his place on the team.

 

Note:  once again… no victim, negative, nor ‘woe is me.’  Note also… again no blame nor shaking that fist at God.

 

Looks like we can learn much from young Mr. Ware.  Looks like he continues to see how the negative can become a positive… how each of us can learn and grow from the most challenging of circumstances… how always, no matter what, we are truly blessed.

 

I pray Ware continues to heal.  I pray the world continues to watch…

 

… and hopefully we’ll listen to him, too.

 

Respectfully,

AR

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praying for you

There was no time to prepare.

How we’d feel… how we’d react… what we would do.

 

Would we respond in unison?  Would we be encouraged go our separate ways?  … act our separate ways?  Would division be encouraged?  And when all else crumbled to the ground, who would stand as our support?

 

Would we fight? … would we chastise?  … would we judge?

 

Or… would we embrace what is good?  … together?  Looking not to what divides but instead to what unifies… what brings about the strongest, most lasting sense of unity?  … what is real?  … and what has actual power?

 

Somedays I am discouraged by how we react as a nation — and how those within leadership often use and abuse their leadership in how they rhetorically encourage us to react; it’s like we repeatedly miss the big picture because we’re so embroiled in life’s little battles.  Hence, we’ve made molehills into mountains and scratches into scars.  We so often miss the bigger picture.

 

Except last Sunday night.

 

In Indianapolis — in what was supposedly just a game — University of Louisville sophomore basketball player, Kevin Ware, suffered one of the more visibly gruesome injuries in the immediately-gone-viral age.  As Ware jumped to defend a 3 point shot, he landed awkwardly — so awkwardly that his leg buckled in 2 places, seemingly shattering, bending a way that legs don’t bend, breaking the bone in 2 places, with his bare bone sticking 6 inches out of his skin.

 

The injury prompted immediate shock, horror, and grief by those on the court, those in the stands, and those watching on TV.  It was spontaneously gut-wrenching.  (At the time, allow me to say the Intramuralist was incredibly thankful to be tuning in solely via radio airwaves.)  Thus, there was no time to prepare for how we’d feel and how we’d react as a body… as a nation… as a society.  What did we do?

 

All over the nation — as spurred on from sportscasters whose amplified words suddenly paled in comparison to the reality before them — we were encouraged to pray.

 

As grown men cried — visible arguably most clearly in the eyes of the typically, fashionably, completely composed coach, Rick Pitino — all over the nation, people prayed.

 

From Robert Griffin III:  “Prayers up for Kevin Ware, his teammates, & family”

From NBA’er Kevin Love:  “I don’t even have words. Only prayers right now.”

Fellow professional Stephen Curry:  “Pray for him!”

From baseball’s Bryce Harper:  “Wow! Speedy recovery for Kevin Ware hopefully! Scary moment! Prayers and blessings to you bud!”

From football’s Eric Wright:  “Kevin Ware injury was crazy, gotta send a prayer up for that young man”

And even from Lil Wayne:  “May God be with Kevin Ware and his family. Ya in my prayers bro”

 

When life is hard, we humbly fall to our knees and pray, submitting to a power and authority far bigger and better than ourselves.  Sometimes in those moments of crisis — when reality looms larger than rhetoric — wise men encourage one another to bow down.  There is no question then as to what is real and what is not — what is appropriate and what is not.  Sunday we witnessed the reality of the reaction in college basketball.

 

God bless you, Kevin Ware.  Heal fast.  Be wise, and cling to the bigger picture.  You now have a nation praying for you.

 

Respectfully,

AR