Month: May 2013

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a “bad” experience

Years ago when my oldest son was a wibbling, wobbling toddler, I will never forget the day his stuffed Curious George went sailing through the aisle at our local grocery.  While first appalled that my son would turn his beloved companion into a public projectile, I couldn’t help but chuckle as George came to rest in the narrow gauntlet between multiple canned goods.  I may have even grinned from ear to ear.

 

Unfortunately, my laughter quickly subsided, as George landed a mere 3-4 feet in front of one of those motorized carts, donned by an obviously, elderly lady.

 

“I’m sorry, ma’am.  My son threw his favorite stuffed animal.”

 

Instead of the articulated grace perhaps far too naively expected, the lady’s countenance turned immediately stern, glaring at me, squinting her eyes, and then retorting, “You need to get better control of your children!”

 

I was shocked.  What?  I need to get better control?  There is no grace for a harmless throw of Curious George?

 

Let me tell you what I did not…

I did not conclude that all elderly women are as withholding of grace as she.  I did not conclude that all persons on motorized carts have lost respect for the rest of the waiting world.  No.  I made zero conclusions about the elderly nor those on those oh-so-cool motorized carts.

 

However, my sense is that refraining from making conclusions — when we have 1 “bad” experience — is the rarity as opposed to the norm.

 

How often do we do that?  How often do we make conclusions about an entire demographic because of a singular experience?  For example…

 

Have you had 1 “bad” experience with a Christian?  (“Bad” equates to harshness and immediate judgment.)  Have you had 2, 4, maybe even 17 “bad” interactions?  There are billions of Christians on this planet.  Even 17 so-called “bad” experiences pale in comparison.

 

Have you had 1 “bad” experience with a Republican or Democrat?  (“Bad” equates to arrogance and a clear failure to listen.)  There are millions of partisans on this planet; they are not all the same.  In fact, I have a brother who is a state legislator.  He is ethical, fiscally responsible, and he listens to those he represents.  More of our representatives — regardless of party — should be like him.

 

Have you had 1 “bad” experience with a member of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community? … or with someone who believes LGBT behavior is unnatural?  (“Bad” equates to so passionate they actually justify condescendence of persons with differing opinion.)  I have friends who are gay… and friends who believe homosexuality is sinful.  I have both who still love and respect their neighbor.

 

Friends, one of the most accepted forms of arrogance on this planet is when we make judgments about entire people groups because of 1 “bad” experience.  Sure, we don’t feel it’s only 1.  We find other likeminded persons to “amen” our experience, so we’re never confronted with the darts that pierce our self-inflated bubbles; we’re never confronted with the reality that challenges our self-created reality.  In other words, we allow 1 or 2 or even 17 “bad” experiences to tell us what we want to hear — as opposed to be on a continuous seeking of actual truth.  Too many times, experience trumps truth.

 

When the lady at that grocery challenged my parenting, I wish all could have witnessed the astonished look on my face…

 

“What?  I need to get better control of my children?”

 

I knew her response was not the response of all people.  It was not even the response of all elderly women on motorized carts.  Hence, I smiled, paused, and said the first thing that came to mind…

 

“Have a nice day, ma’am.  I will, too.”

 

Respectfully…

AR

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fixing our eyes

Let me be frank:  there is one thing I have hated my entire life.  No, not pickles.  Not even disrespect.  Unfortunately, too many times in my playful adolescence, I partook of both.

 

While it is true our family has attempted as best as possible to adopt the “hate what God hates” mentality (which thus allows pickles to remain a non-hated option), the Intramuralist must confess to a tinge of hypocrisy, as my enduring hatred has yet to be mentioned negatively in any even dead sea scroll.

 

I have always hated running.  Yep, running.  Moving one foot in front of the other for an extended period of time, without a book to read, show to watch, or witty person to talk to.  Dwelling on my perceived boredom associated with the activity, I remember years ago during pre-iPod/Walkman days, donning my cool cassette player and a basketball, thinking perhaps the clever combination of music and dribbling would somehow ease my pain.  Note:  it didn’t work.

 

In recent years, no less, I have been humbly graced by the friendship of a few persistent, pesky, and pretty perky runners in my life.  God bless you, guys, but that’s still not my ‘thing.’  But yet, they’ve taught me something…

 

My running friends profess the process is more mental than physical; running has more to do with the mind and spirit as opposed to the actual body.  Mind over matter.  A reshaping of the mind.  As one wise friend says with unparalleled passion, “whatever we pay attention to grows.”  If we pay attention to how much our body hurts when running  (or how bored we may be), we will fail to persevere.  We’ll miss the run.  Hence, the question is:  what’s our focus?  On what are we fixing our eyes?

 

Where we go, what we do, the successes we enjoy, the places we falter… on what are we fixing our eyes?  Allow me to thus assert, that whatever our eyes are fixed upon is solely what we will see.  For example…

 

… if we fix our eyes upon Boehner or Barack’s broken promises, we’ll miss their promises kept.

… if we fix our eyes upon one party’s infinite wisdom, we’ll miss our own lack of objectivity.

… if we fix our eyes upon another’s lack of grace, we’ll miss the times we ourselves have justified refusal.

… if we fix our eyes upon the praise of NBA’er Jason Collins — who was vocal about his sexuality last week, we’ll miss the criticism of NFL’er Tim Tebow — who many have asked to remain silent.

… if we fix our eyes upon the need for all to have free education and healthcare, we’ll miss that our government doesn’t have enough money for it to be free.

… if we fix our eyes upon our government’s lack of money, we’ll miss how to care for “the least of these.”

… if we fix our eyes upon the emotion stemming from the victims in Newtown, we’ll miss the rationale for the 2nd Amendment.

… if we fix our eyes upon the existing prejudice of many white people, we’ll miss the existing prejudice of many black people.

… if we fix our eyes upon “if-it-feels-good-do-it,” we’ll miss the negative impact of moral relativity.

… and if we fix our eyes upon the ‘speck in another’s eye,’ we’ll miss the log in our own.

 

Such begs the question:  what should we fix our eyes upon?  What’s so worth it — that the focus does not result in blindness elsewhere?  What lasts?  My running friends suggest we must keep our eyes on the prize — on where we want to end up — on the big picture, so-to-speak.  Only by keeping our eyes fixed upon where we want to go will our gaze not prompt blindness somewhere else.

 

Meanwhile… yes… true… I’ve started running.  Shocking, I know… I, too, am a little dumbstruck.  But my focus is no longer on the perceived boredom nor bodily harm; it’s on something bigger.

 

Respectfully,

AR

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community

Imagine if America was a community… one large, real, significant, interactive, healthy community.  What would that change?  What would we be like?

 

Perhaps some would suggest:  we already are a community — maybe not so healthy — but we’re still a community!  It ‘takes a village,’ you know.

 

I think not.

 

To be a community — an authentic community —  is first, not something forced upon us.  Community is a choice.  It’s a choice, in its simplest manifestation, to do life together.

 

Does that mean there never exists disagreement?  Of course not.  Disagreement does not equate to disrespect (… a few more of us could learn that, I’m thinking…).

 

But if we functioned as an authentic community, we would never work so hard to squelch or silence opinion solely because it’s different.  Dare I say that neither the Executive nor Legislative branches consistently practice such wisdom.  Far too often, P.R. campaigns and rhetorical put-downs are instead, lavishly employed.

 

To live in community means to be on mission together…  We saw that in the days immediately succeeding the Boston Marathon bombing.  Not solely the city proper nor the Commonwealth of Massachusetts but rather, seemingly the entire U.S. of A. was passionately seeking the arrest of those responsible.  Cheers, tweets, and texts rang out when the suspects were apprehended.  Being united in purpose prompted a truer sense of community.

 

Hence, what mission could endure in this country?  What mission could a “united state” of America join in on together?  A mission that would last? …

 

To fend off all evil.

To pursue life.

To pursue liberty.

To even pursue happiness.

To recognize that opposition does not equate to evil.

To recognize that evil is the utter absence of God.

To defend our inalienable rights.

To recognize that those rights come from someone bigger and better than you and me.

To learn to preach to ourselves as opposed to listen to ourselves.

To acknowledge God.

To relentlessly pursue his blessing and perspective.

To extinguish terrorism.

To recognize that there exist multiple, organized, anti-Christian organizations that wish to bring us serious harm.

To seek God’s best for all people.

To be humble enough to pray.

To submit.

To do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.

 

Again I ask, what mission could we join in on together?

 

As I look at the purpose articulated by current leadership — regardless of party affiliation — I don’t see much of the above.  Instead, it seems we have a plethora of “me first”…  “Party first”…  and a generous helping of “I know best.”

 

I don’t see a lot of humility, submission, and putting others before ourselves.

 

The reality, therefore, is that I don’t see a lot of community.

 

Respectfully…

AR