above reproach

So many leadership skills are taught via academia. The most vital, however, can’t be taught — no matter the prominence of the school nor reputation of the professor. An effective leader must be above reproach. Their activity, attitude, and articulations must not be open to censure. They must be blameless. Is that not the problem with so many contemporary leaders? If they wish for us to listen and follow, they must be above reproach. But they are not…

We watch the NFL, a societal mainstay, wrestle with recent events that have attracted significant negative publicity. Note that I choose my words carefully, as instances of legal abuse have long permeated the league; what’s different in 2014 is the public’s increased awareness.

The NFL is led by Roger Goodell. As commissioner, he wants us to follow his lead — yet in the discipline of Ravens running back Ray Rice, Goodell’s honesty is in question. Goodell initially barred Rice for an Intramuralist-perceived, tiny two games, saying he had not seen the video in which Rice brutally knocked his then fiancé unconscious. When the video became public, Goodell suspended Rice indefinitely, saying seeing the video (… uh, not the accompanying public disgust and thus pressure…) motivated him to alter his disciplinary decision. Many say Goodell knew of the video and brutality ahead of time. Goodell’s honesty is unfortunately not above reproach, and thus his current leadership is in question.

We watch the renewed racial unrest, as protestors react peacefully and not-so-peacefully to recent grand jury events. Much of the protest seems led by Al Sharpton. As a civil right activist, he wants us to follow his lead — yet Sharpton’s career was initially propelled into prominence by his fervent support of an African-American teenager 27 years ago. Tawana Brawley claimed she was kidnapped and gang-raped by several white men, including a police officer and local prosecutor. Sharpton loudly and consistently, verbally attacked the men. The case was dropped after a long investigation revealed Brawley’s claims to be false, and Brawley began making defamation payments for her false accusations. Sharpton, however, still admits no fault for his involvement. Sharpton’s pursuit of truth is unfortunately not above reproach, and thus his current leadership is in question.

We also watch our nation attempt to navigate through multiple messy legal scenarios. The leading law enforcement officer in the land is Attorney General Eric Holder. He wants us to follow his lead — yet in the final hours of the Clinton administration, then Deputy Attorney General Holder quietly facilitated what many have called “the most unjust presidential pardon in American history.” Holder recommended the pardon for Marc Rich, an active fugitive who had used his money to evade the law. He was indicted on 65 federal criminal counts of tax evasion, fraud, and racketeering; it was the biggest tax evasion case in U.S. history at the time, and it earned Rich a spot on the FBI’s “Ten Most-Wanted” list. After Rich’s ex-wife gave Pres. Clinton’s Party over $1 million — including $100,000 to Hillary’s then Senate campaign and $450,000 to the Clinton Library foundation — Holder recommended Rich’s pardon. Holder’s upholding of the law is unfortunately not above reproach, and thus his current leadership is in question.

If leaders wish to lead well — if they wish to be effective — their activity, attitude, and articulations must be above reproach. There should be no question. Otherwise, the rest of us will be challenged to listen, much less follow.

Respectfully…

AR

understanding

huddleCLR“Mom, you just don’t understand!” said one son yesterday morning, after hiding his sibling’s things in order to get back at him for a perceived, serious offense. You just don’t understand. We are way too good at placing all onus on someone else — that the essence of the problem is the ignorance of another — as opposed to empathy for all.

How many times do we sit back in our less-than-humble perches boldly sharing with another that they need to understand?

Friends, you need to understand…

Parents, you need to understand…

Kids, you need to understand…

Men, you need to understand…

Women, you need to understand…

Husbands, you need to understand…

Wives, you need to understand…

Black people, you need to understand…

White people, you need to understand…

Liberals, you need to understand…

Conservatives, you need to understand…

Those in between, you need to understand…

Americans, you need to understand…

Native Americans, you need to understand…

Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, architects, economists, ice cream salesmen, etc., you need to understand…

We so easily call out all people groups, assuming an entire group thinks and feels the same. We so easily magnify what they are missing as opposed to reflect upon our own omissions.

You just don’t understand.

I wonder how the world would operate differently, if instead of boldly proclaiming the omissions of others, we spent more time humbly reflecting upon the gaps in our own wisdom. Would that not encourage empathy for all — as opposed to only empathy for some? And if empathy is only for some, is it really empathy?

Too often we pounce upon what another people group doesn’t “get” — placing all onus upon them, as if we know better and best. “We” will each know things another does not; but none of us know all. Too often, too, this happens either in social media or before public microphones and cameras; in other words, too often this happens outside the authenticity of face-to-face, respectful conversation. It dumbfounds me how so many fall so easily prey to a social media boldness that limits authentic dialogue and conversation. Sorry… but that’s not brave; that’s not bold. That’s a lack of respect for other people.

“But Mom, you just don’t understand!”

What was the offense that called for my son’s clamor? One of his older brothers said something to him that he didn’t like. Defensive due to a seemingly crass expression, my youngest chose to then hide an ample supply of my oldest’s personal belongings.

Did I understand? Maybe. Maybe not… I get your anger. I get your frustration. I get that this is a big deal for you, and even though I don’t share your perspective, I want to hear you and walk with you through this… I also desire to teach my son better… teaching him to look inside himself first, never allowing his offense to impede the humble reflection that leads to wisdom and growth.

Respectfully…

AR

what lasts

How much do we live with only the “now” in mind? How much does “living for the moment” distract us from recognizing the long term — for grasping the eternal? As I watch the world around us, I wonder how we would act and feel differently if we could see what lasts. I wonder how the Ferguson protestors, supporters, critics, and bandwagon jumpers would react differently — how we would react differently — if we had a more permanent perspective. And then I read the perspective shared by the New Orleans Saints tight end, Benjamin Watson, linked here in Sunday’s comments. It’s worth the post. Below are Watson’s thoughts. I encourage you to consider them in totality…

“I’M ANGRY because the stories of injustice that have been passed down for generations seem to be continuing before our very eyes.

I’M FRUSTRATED, because pop culture, music and movies glorify these types of police citizen altercations and promote an invincible attitude that continues to get young men killed in real life, away from safety movie sets and music studios.

I’M FEARFUL because in the back of my mind I know that although I’m a law abiding citizen I could still be looked upon as a ‘threat’ to those who don’t know me. So I will continue to have to go the extra mile to earn the benefit of the doubt.

I’M EMBARRASSED because the looting, violent protests, and law breaking only confirm, and in the minds of many, validate, the stereotypes and thus the inferior treatment.

I’M SAD, because another young life was lost from his family, the racial divide has widened, a community is in shambles, accusations, insensitivity hurt and hatred are boiling over, and we may never know the truth about what happened that day.

I’M SYMPATHETIC, because I wasn’t there so I don’t know exactly what happened. Maybe Darren Wilson acted within his rights and duty as an officer of the law and killed Michael Brown in self defense like any of us would in the circumstance. Now he has to fear the backlash against himself and his loved ones when he was only doing his job. What a horrible thing to endure. OR maybe he provoked Michael and ignited the series of events that led to him eventually murdering the young man to prove a point.

I’M OFFENDED, because of the insulting comments I’ve seen that are not only insensitive but dismissive to the painful experiences of others.

I’M CONFUSED, because I don’t know why it’s so hard to obey a policeman. You will not win!!! And I don’t know why some policeman abuse their power. Power is a responsibility, not a weapon to brandish and lord over the populace.

I’M INTROSPECTIVE, because sometimes I want to take ‘our’ side without looking at the facts in situations like these. Sometimes I feel like it’s us against them. Sometimes I’m just as prejudiced as people I point fingers at. And that’s not right. How can I look at white skin and make assumptions but not want assumptions made about me? That’s not right.

I’M HOPELESS, because I’ve lived long enough to expect things like this to continue to happen. I’m not surprised and at some point my little children are going to inherit the weight of being a minority and all that it entails.

I’M HOPEFUL, because I know that while we still have race issues in America, we enjoy a much different normal than those of our parents and grandparents. I see it in my personal relationships with teammates, friends and mentors. And it’s a beautiful thing.

I’M ENCOURAGED, because ultimately the problem is not a SKIN problem, it is a SIN problem. SIN is the reason we rebel against authority. SIN is the reason we abuse our authority. SIN is the reason we are racist, prejudiced and lie to cover for our own. SIN is the reason we riot, loot and burn. BUT I’M ENCOURAGED because God has provided a solution for sin through the his son Jesus and with it, a transformed heart and mind. One that’s capable of looking past the outward and seeing what’s truly important in every human being. The cure for the Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice and Eric Garner tragedies is not education or exposure. It’s the Gospel. So, finally, I’M ENCOURAGED because the Gospel gives mankind hope.”

Thank God for Watson’s eternal perspective. Maybe that is what would unite us…

Respectfully…

AR