Month: August 2016

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nothing compared to a soldier

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[Today is post #3 in our annual, summer Guest Writer Series. Note that the opinions expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist.]

 

Why do I like little dogs? I don’t know, but I’m definitely a little dog person.  I adore my 14 pound Westie, but if she were the size of a hamster, I would adore her even more.

So last fall when my son, a lieutenant in the United States Army, told me he was seriously thinking of getting a dog I said, “Hey Buddy, just be sure to get a little dog in case someone (meaning me) has to take care of that dog should you ever be deployed.”  I couldn’t tell whether he shook his head yes or no on the other end of the call, but I was certain I made my point clear.  So he got a Great Dane.

Enter Mozzie, a fawn-colored Great Dane named after a character on a favorite TV show.  Mozzie’s father weighs 175 pounds and drinks out of the kitchen sink.  So much for getting a little dog.

This past March my son deployed to Afghanistan for the better part of a year.  He put his car in storage.  His household goods went to his roommate.  And his dog… well, his dog was another matter.

My husband gave me his own puppy dog look and said, “Oh Sally, we have to take the dog.  Don’t you think we should?” as if this were a 5 month old child who would be left at an orphanage if we didn’t agree to intervene.

“WHY SHOULD I?” I thought.  It’s not a child; it’s a dog.  If this were my son’s child, I would do it in a heartbeat, but c’mon; it’s a dog.  A big dog.   And I TOLD him to get a small dog.  I TOLD him to consider all of this before bringing home Marmaduke with his drooling, shedding, and oh-look-he’s-piddling-on-the-pillow ways. Why did he have to go AMA (“Against Motherly Advice”) and get a small pony instead of a hamster?

As it would happen, Mozzie may be big, but he also has a big heart.  Yes, he is hairy to the point of choking my vacuum cleaner to death, but he hugs us with all his furriness every day. Yes, he takes up the entire sofa, but he scooches over to love on us whenever we join him.  Yes, he has the amazing capacity to carry an entire quart of water in his jowls from the bowl to my lap, but those floppy jowls make for adorable pictures that warm my son’s heart in Afghanistan.

As sweet as Moz is, I have asked myself “Why” a thousand times?  Why am I doing this?  My life was free of hassles. Now I care for a four-legged toddler who chews, slobbers, and toots (which, incidentally, smell like a port-a-potty on a 120 degree day).  All this craziness, thanks to my son!   And that’s when it hit me.  That’s what taking care of Mozzie is.  It is a way of giving thanks… to my son. Not just the son I raised as a boy, but the son who serves as a US Soldier.  That’s what I think of when hair is sticking to my lip.  This is all for a Soldier.  That Soldier just happens to be my son.

What I have given up is nothing compared to what Soldiers go through.  Deployment forces our brave men and women to give up the ability to see their friends, their family, and yes, even the pets they adore to make sure the rest of us are able to do so whenever we choose.

That is why I consider it all joy to care for my son’s Gentle Giant. I even forget that I ever had doubts about taking on this lovable loaf.  Rather, I see it as a way to give back just a little bit for a Soldier who is giving his all for me.

Respectfully…
Sally

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children matter

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[Today is post #2 in our annual, summer Guest Writer Series. Note that the opinions expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist.]

 

Black Lives Matter…White Lives Matter…Cops Lives Matter… I am so tired of hearing these overused phrases. Bottom line: We All Matter. More importantly, Our Children Matter. What are we teaching them with all of this hate and violence going on in America right now?

When I was a child, I would leave my house in the morning and play most of the day and well into the evening with my friends and cousins. We would stop in to one of our homes for a bite to eat and then we were back out to ride our bikes, climb trees, capture the imaginary “bad” guys, build forts, and just be kids. We checked in with our parents from time to time but we were free to wander the neighborhood and play. It was a care-free time for all of us, and our parents never really worried about our safety other than maybe a rare broken bone or need for stitches from time to time. Life was simple and life was good.

It makes me sad that children today will never experience this type of innocence. Sure, they still play outside but most, only with adult supervision. They can’t hop on their bikes and ride to their friends’ houses on the other side of the neighborhood without mom or dad following closely. They can’t skip from house to house and make their own lunches without an adult or older sibling being present. They can’t catch lightning bugs or play kick the can in the evenings without someone watching after them. The care-free days of letting kids be kids are gone. Evil has replaced goodness in our society. At some point over the past 50 years, life has changed, and not for the better. Life is no longer simple and life no longer holds the purity and naivety that it once did.

That being said, I believe that every child is born innocent and good, with a pure heart. Each child is absent of evil and hate. However, life experiences teach children bad things. The news media floods society with horrible stories virtually 24 hours a day. You rarely hear of stories where good prevails over evil. News outlets fight to break stories of disgusting, criminal activities. As parents, we can try to shield our children of these things, yet with access to technology, children still find out atrocities that are happening each and every day of their lives. They see the bad and they learn the hate that is prevailing in our world.

Even our political leaders are tainted. We have two Americans running for the highest political office that have less than stellar pasts. It is sad that a country as great as America once was, can’t nominate two better individuals than what we have. I am scared to think of what the country will be for our children and our grandchildren when they become adults. How can we expect America to return to goodness and honor when we continue to elect sub-par, corrupt leaders?

The only way we are going to instill the love and goodness back into our children and society is to start at home with the most basic family unit. We, as parents, must lead our children and teach them respect and dignity. We need to get back to the days of spanking our kids or grounding them and holding them responsible for their actions. We need to get away from participation trophies; celebrate the wins and acknowledge the losses. Our children need to see us doing random acts of kindness for others. We need to donate our time and take our children with us to learn the importance of this act of goodness. We need to enjoy nature and show our kids all of its beauty. We need to smile at others and hold the door for people. Let your children see you doing these things.

I know we all try to be good and strive to be better people; however, a breakdown of society has happened and will continue to happen if we don’t do something to change it. We must change these news reports of civil unrest, mass shootings, the killing of police, rape, murder, robberies, etc. as the norm for our children as they grow into adulthood.

I leave you with the words from Tim Mc Graw’s recently released song, titled “Humble and Kind.” May these lyrics encourage all of us, remembering them as we go through our days and raise our children:

You know there’s a light that glows by the front door
Don’t forget the keys under the mat
When childhood starts shine, always stay humble and kind
Go to church cause your momma says too
Visit grandpa every chance that you can
It won’t be wasted time.

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind.
When the dreams you’re dreamin come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind.

Don’t expect a free ride from no one
Don’t hold a grudge or a chip and here’s why
Bitterness keeps you from flying
Always stay humble and kind.
Know the difference with sleeping with someone
And sleeping with someone you love
I love you ain’t no pick up line so
Always stay humble and kind.

Hold the door say please say thank you
Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie
I know you got mountains to climb but
Always stay humble and kind.
When the dreams you dreamin come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind.

When it’s hot, eat a root-beer popsicle
Shut off the AC and roll the windows down
Let that summer sun shine
Always stay humble and kind
Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you
When you get where you goin’
Don’t forget turn back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind.

Sincerely…
LS

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counting the cost

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[Note: today begins our annual Guest Writer Series. Hence, the viewpoints expressed may or may not be held by the Intramuralist. Regardless, these guys are good and they are respectful. Enjoy! … starting with Guest Writer #1…]

 

It was an interesting observation. I was in a florist shop waiting in line to buy flowers for a new mom. At the front of the line was a customer who was eager to place his order. He has his wallet in hand, and from his demeanor, it was obvious that he was ordering flowers for someone special, someone very dear to him. He wanted to send the very best. He was not just sending flowers; he was sending a message.

With strong affirmation and for all of us to hear, he declared, “I want to order a dozen of your very best red roses!”

Then with a degree of hesitancy and apparent after thought, and in a less enthusiastic voice, he asked, “Ah… just how much does a dozen roses cost?”

The clerk replied, “That will be $60.00.”

With that information in mind, further deliberation, and a long pause, he said, “Well…ah…how much does a half dozen cost?”

Again, the clerk replied, “That would be $35.00.”

I watched the man shifting from one foot to the other and obviously in thought as he was evaluating the cost before finalizing his order for this special recipient. Then he said, “Gee, ya’ know, she really likes carnations… and they last so much longer… yes, let’s send her a half dozen carnations instead of the roses.”

As I observed this scenario I couldn’t help but ask myself some questions. Did he decide that she wasn’t worth that which cost the most? Did he decide that less would reflect his love just as much? Did she really like carnations, or was that just a rationalization to get out of ordering the roses he had originally intended when he came into the shop?

Life frequently presents us with scenarios which have lessons within them for us who are observing. I thought about how often we have intentions to give the most or what we deem the best initially, and then when we research the cost, we rationalize to see if we can give a little less, do a little less, or maybe substitute something else entirely. Yes, we still want the relationship, the message, and the desired response to our gift from the recipient, but maybe, just maybe, we can get by with giving just a little less. After all, why should cost matter? Isn’t it the thought that really counts? Well, maybe… but then how important is the relationship, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual? Does what we are willing to invest say something about its value, its importance to us?

So my question is when is substituting something less for the most a commentary on what we honestly value, on how much we really are willing to invest, be it money, time, or ourselves?

Hmmmm, I wonder.

Thanks Intramuralist…you invest from the heart!

Respectfully…
DWL